


The Hate He Never Knew

by nightwish435



Series: A Tangled Web of Wounded Hearts [1]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Family, Grief/Mourning, Homophobia, M/M, Original Character(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-02
Updated: 2016-04-30
Packaged: 2018-04-02 14:22:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 51,593
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4063195
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nightwish435/pseuds/nightwish435
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Even though Armin Arlert and his loved ones have accepted the fact that he's gay, others aren't as kind. During his 2nd year at college, Armin finds out the hard way that homophobes are quite real.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

_Just as love knows no boundaries, neither age, race nor gender, so too with its antithesis known as hatred._

_My name is Annie Leonhart. I am a person who has been called many things by the people who’ve known me: loner, stranger, cold as ice, and even heartless. Little do they understand that I, too, have a heart; it merely seems on the surface that such a heart doesn’t exist._

_Once, I was the same as anybody else my age: carefree, joyful, and blissfully ignorant of the darkness of reality. But I have seen many things transpire in these 25 years, things that reduced my innocence to dust._

_Hate and cruelty in humans was a concept that I used to firmly view as simply a matter of fiction, or a thing of the past. What a fool I was to believe that. I’ve watched the byproducts of hatred consume the lives of so many people, even those who clearly never wanted to do anybody wrong._

_I stopped asking why the innocent suffer from hatred. In the end, no human will ever truly know the answer to that somber question. That knowledge lies not with us, but in Heaven above._

_Why, do you suppose, am I choosing to burden you with all of this? The answer is simple: the world must understand that yes, wicked people are very much real, and their favorite target is the one who seems free of darkness. For light and darkness, while they do coexist, will always clash until the end of time._

_Now then, dear reader, let me tell you the tale of my first-hand experience with this battle. It happened during the time of our lives when we most experience the journey of self-discovery: **college.**_

_It is a story that still hurts the hearts of myself and my loved ones, because the one who was targeted this time was a boy whom we thought that everybody cherished, who would never go out of his way to hurt another human being._

_His name is Armin Arlert, and this is the recounting of his own struggle with hate._

* * *

 Even on the day to move onto campus, Armin’s new dorm building seemed as empty as a ghost town. It was one of the few dorm halls on campus comprised solely of single rooms, typically claimed by those who hated the idea of sharing their living space with a stranger. Armin had chosen Sansburg Hall because he had been unable to get the amount of alone time he desired last year, when he had lived in Wickson Hall with Jean. Jean Kirschtein had been a decent roommate, but there had been days that year when Armin had constantly willed to be left alone to his thoughts, only for Jean to refuse to budge.

Armin chuckled to himself, remembering one night he had spent in that room, having to listen to Jean grumble about Eren Jaeger, Armin’s best friend, who always seemed to be pissing his roommate off to no end.

His grandfather stood next to him, exhausted after finally getting Armin completely settled in.

“It’s awfully quiet for move-in day,” the old man grumbled. “Shouldn’t your floor mates be out and about?”

Armin shrugged and said “Well, grandpa, it **is** a single dorm, you know. Chances are they want to be alone.”

“I suppose so, grandson. Well then, will you be seeing Eren and Mikasa later today?”

“Of course!”

The two of them walked back down the stairs towards the first floor, both yawning heavily. The car ride, coupled with the effort of taking everything up to Armin’s room, had taken a toll on them both. Back outside, cars were drifting away from the campus in droves, with numerous students waving goodbye to their parents. Armin bit his lip, silently wishing that his parents were here to see him off like everybody else.

As if he had read his mind, Armin’s grandfather looked down at him and gently told him “You know they’re proud of you, Armin. Even now in Heaven, they’re smiling down at you. You know that, don’t you?”

Armin sighed and replied “Yeah. I just…I miss them.”

His grandfather tenderly wrapped a thin arm around his shoulders and whispered “Me too, Armin. Me too.”

They arrived at his grandfather’s old Jeep, which was starting to show serious signs of overuse. His grandfather wanted to hold off on buying a new car as much as he could, but even he could tell that the time to say goodbye was coming soon. The biggest reason for his stubbornness was that this vehicle had carried his late wife with him through numerous journeys; to give away this car would mean saying goodbye to a precious reminder that she had lived.

Armin stood there, wondering what his 2nd year would be like. Last year had been much more than he had bargained for; after several strange dreams, prayers and a great deal of soul-searching, Armin had finally accepted that he was gay, something that he had really known for several years, but had been unwilling to admit. His winter break last year had been spent coming out to everybody, including his grandfather and his closest friends. To his shock, nobody seemed the least surprised. As they had all told him, they had never seen nor heard him be fascinated with any girl. Their only question was why Armin hadn’t accepted himself sooner.

He knew what the answer was, and it still brought him shame whenever he thought about it: he simply couldn’t accept himself as gay, when he had been raised by his family to have a strong Christian faith. He had read in the Bible multiple verses that seemed to bellow condemnation at him, and everywhere he looked, gay people were slandered and mistreated constantly. Why, in his right mind, would he want to be a part of that? But ironically, it was constant prayer that removed that fog in his mind; begging God for answers resulted in Armin facing a sudden surge of self-insight that yes, he was indeed gay, and no, there was no changing that.

In the first few weeks after coming out, Armin had been worried that his grandfather wouldn’t view him the same. But that, too, had been a surprise; despite acknowledging to Armin that he had questions about what this meant for his grandson spiritually, he grandfather had made it clear that he wouldn’t love him any less. And so, his grandfather became his staunchest supporter among his remaining family members, bonding with him even further after the revelation.

Next to Armin, his grandfather looked around at the campus, a keen interest in his eyes.

“Being here with you, remembering that this was me some 50+ years ago…oh geez,” he mumbled. “This brings back so many memories. Meeting your grandma, getting drunk for the first time…”

Armin laughed hard. “Grandpa, **you** got drunk at college? That’s amazing!”

“You wouldn’t be so amazed if I told you what happened afterwards, grandson.”

That only made Armin laugh harder. Trying to picture his grandfather as a drunken college student was a hilarious thought that made his sides hurt from mirth.

“Well, it’s time,” his grandfather said. “Give me a hug, boy. I won’t see you ‘til Thanksgiving.”

The two embraced awkwardly, the older man towering over Armin, despite him being 19.

“Bye, grandpa. Have a safe drive back!” Armin told him, sad to say goodbye once more.

“Bye, Armin. Stay safe,” he said, before adding with a wry smile “And remember, one guy at a time.”

Armin’s entire face flushed a furious red, and he said awkwardly “Well, of course!”

Chuckling, his grandfather drove off with a final wave, joining the dozens of other cars trying to get out of campus. Armin watched the throng of traffic for a minute, before finally walking back to his dorm. He was trying hard to ignore his grandfather’s earlier remark about the emptiness of the floor. Armin had indeed chosen his new hall out of a desire to find more solitude, but he hadn’t been prepared for a floor where nobody ever left their rooms.

When he got back to his floor, he saw that the atmosphere hadn’t changed one bit. There wasn’t a single person in sight. Armin stood next to the massive glass window overlooking the area, musing to himself about what the year might bring. Over the summer, Armin had prayed and hoped that he would finally find a good guy at the campus. The loneliness he had always dealt with had surged during the summer, and on some nights, it took all of his will to not cry from the pain it brought. The prospect of spending his life alone did not sit well with him.

While he pondered over this, he heard the door by the stairs open and close.

 _“Well, it’s about time somebody else showed up around here!”_ Armin thought in exasperation.

He remained by the window, looking out over the campus, and saw out of his peripheral vision a girl pass him by. As she walked by him, she gave Armin a weird look that reminded him of the face his grandfather made when he found spiders crawling around their house. The girl continued to stare at Armin with that strange expression before walking into her room at the end of the hall, the one that overlooked the entire floor in front of it.

 _“What’s the deal with her?”_ Armin wondered. _”I get that I don’t have much of a fashion sense, but am I really dressed that bad?”_

He shrugged indifferently, and walked back to his room, planning on catching up with Eren and Mikasa later that night.

* * *

 “If that Kirschtein prick makes one more jab at my German speaking skills, I’ll smash his skull in!” Eren shouted, frightening the other people around them in the dining hall.

Armin and Mikasa groaned, annoyed that Eren had already started fuming about Jean, who they hadn’t even seen yet. Eren and Jean were taking German as their language requirement, and for whatever reasons they had, they frequently butted heads in class. Much of the friends’ social gatherings had been spent trying to calm Eren down while he went off on yet another tirade about his classmate’s snarky comments.

“Just ignore him, Eren!” Mikasa shot back, exasperated and doing her best to not snap at her foster brother. “He’s not worth the discipline you know you’ll get!”

“Bah! There you go, taking his side again, Mikasa,” Eren said. “No wonder he has a crush on you. You’re too soft on him!”

“ **Shut it** ” she hissed, her eyes glaring daggers at Eren. He gulped in terror and continued to eat.

Armin gave an irritated huff, and silently wondered if Eren was becoming jealous of Jean’s feelings. The idea of Eren developing feelings for his foster-sister wasn’t too confusing, seeing as they had spent more than 10 years bonding after Eren’s parents had adopted her. But if he had any crushes on anybody, neither Mikasa nor Armin could see it under Eren’s constant anger at almost everything.

Hesitantly, Armin asked her “Have you ever thought about Jean, Mikasa? He does seem pretty nice.”

She gave Armin a small smile and asked in turn “Are you only saying that because you don’t want to talk shit about your roommate?”

“No, no! …well, maybe. But besides that, what do you think of him?”

“Look, he’s nice, but he’s also full of hot air.”

“Ah.

“And Armin, you don’t really think that I enjoy hotheads like him, do you?

Armin chuckled, remembering the many times in their past when he had seen Mikasa brutally shut down the advances of numerous other arrogant boys, and said “Not at all.”

Eren said “Hey, what about me?”

Mikasa gave him an irritated side glance and told him “If you changed your temper, maybe. Otherwise, absolutely not.”

Her foster-brother rolled his eyes and went back to eating. Wanting to defuse the tension, Armin asked them “Are you two excited for classes tomorrow?”

All he got from Eren was a snort of derision, which earned him a whack on the head from Mikasa.

“Of course we are, Armin,” she told him over Eren’s grumbling. “And you?”

“Yup! Japanese will be awesome this year!”

It was Armin’s favorite subject, partly because his other best friend Annie was his classmate. The older girl had become Armin’s unlikely friend after the two had spent much of class bonding over school and other things. From the get-go, Annie had apparently been aware that he was gay, as she had asked him numerous times if he had found a boyfriend. When Armin finally came out to her, Annie had smirked and said “I told you so”, no doubt pleased that he had finally accepted the inevitable.

“I’m glad you’re happy,” Mikasa told him. “But…Armin, will you enjoy your new dorm?”

“Probably. Why?”

“Because I’ve heard things about Sansburg Hall. It has a reputation for being the most anti-social dorm hall on campus.”

That remark made Armin nervous, as he remembered that girl who had given him that odd look earlier that day.

“I mean, I won’t know if that’s true until a few weeks pass, right?” he asked Mikasa.

“I suppose. But if anything happens, let me know.”

“Will do!”

When they finished eating, the trio walked out of the dining hall into the night, parting ways for their separate dorms. The three friends were living in different dorms across campus: Mikasa would spend her year in a quad, Eren in a double and Armin in a single. Armin was slightly worried how Mikasa would fair with 3 roommates, given how quiet she was.

 _“No point in worrying”,_ he thought as he walked back to his room. _“She can handle anybody.”_

Armin couldn’t help but wonder again why that girl had acted so strange earlier. Before he fell asleep that night, he prayed that his 2nd year would be decent.

* * *

  **That night, Armin dreamed of his parents and grandma looking at him from a distance, with sad smiles on their faces.**


	2. Chapter 2

On the way to Japanese, his last class of the day, Armin found himself trembling excitedly with the knowledge that he’d finally be seeing his best friend Annie after a long summer.

The two had bonded by being frequent partners during Japanese class, finding solace in each other after nobody else would choose them. To anybody else, they seemed to be the strangest of duos; Armin, a sensitive boy who was known for being shy on a daily basis, and Annie, a stoic girl with a sardonic sense of humor. And yet, somehow, they had managed to click.

Armin arrived at the classroom a few minutes before it was time for class to start, eagerly waiting for her arrival. After what seemed like an eternity, Annie walked through the doorway, her trademark bored look upon her features. Armin bolted from his chair and nearly tackled her with his embrace.

“ **Annie**!” he shouted, holding her tightly, “I’ve missed you so much!”

She gave Armin an awkward pat and said “I missed you too, Armin. Just a heads up, you’re constricting my air pipe.”

Armin let go and looked at her sheepishly, remembering that she had the same fragile build as himself.

“Sorry,” he muttered.

“No worries. So. Do tell me how your summer went.”

The two of them talked in hushed voices as the rest of the class came in, not wanting anybody to eavesdrop.

“This summer was pretty much the same as the one before it. I spent too many hours slaving away over fryers, serving rude people fattening foods.”

“Sounds rough. Well…I suppose I could say the same for myself. Got stuck working in antique shop, selling the strangest things in human existence. I once saw an old portrait of Elvis doing something that probably would’ve been rated R, or perhaps X, depending on how you interpret it.”

“Ha, I should show that to my gramps, maybe he’d recognize it.”

“Armin, chances are if your gramps saw that, he’d be scarred for life.”

“Ah, right.”

“Perhaps a plain old Elvis vinyl would suit him better.”

Class finally began when their sensei, a Japanese woman in her mid-30’s, finally arrived. After a short apology for being late, roll call was read. The majority of the session was spent doing the usual ice breaker, in order to learn everybody’s names. Both of the petite blondes were bored out of their minds, despite knowing beforehand that this was what the first day of the semester always entailed.

When they were finally allowed to leave, Armin and Annie left the room together, heading out towards their respective dorms.

“That was pointless,” Annie said coldly, her irritation palpable. “I came in expecting to at least review points from last semester, not waste time asking each other our names.”

“It can’t be helped, you know. Ice breakers are supposed to help you bond with your classmates,” Armin replied.

“But Armin, do you really think I care about bonding with any of them?”

“Well…no, not at all.”

“Exactly. I’m here to improve my Japanese, not make friends. Oh, by the way, how’s your new dorm so far?”

Armin bit his lip, and told her “It’s a lot duller that I thought it would be.”

“What did you expect, floor parties every night? It’s a hall full of single rooms, and thus people who probably want nothing to do with each other. If you selected that place with hopes of making friends, then to be perfectly blunt, you’re fucked.”

He winced at her tone and muttered “I’d like to get your opinion on one of my floor mates, actually.”

“Oh?”

“She seems really anti-social.”

“Armin, dear, what did I just say?”

“Well, she wouldn’t stop giving me this weird look, like I was a freak or something.”

Annie suddenly stopped walking and looked at him sharply.

“The fuck did you just say?”

“W-what?” Armin stuttered. “Is that bad?”

“Yes, Armin,” she said coldly, “that’s very bad. Have you run into her before?”

“Not that I can remember. But Annie, why are you so uptight about that?”

She sighed impatiently and said “Armin, she sounds like a homophobic twat.”

Armin gawked at her and sputtered “Wait, what?”

Annie continued to stare at him with her piercing eyes, locking him in place as she went on. “Armin, I get that you don’t have any prior experience with this, but I have. That’s the first indicator that somebody’s got an issue with gay people.”

He groaned, desperately wishing that he hadn’t told Annie about the strange girl. Armin hadn’t suspected that she was a homophobe; he had only believed that she was a snot-head.

“If anybody does anything to hurt you,” Annie said with a touch of something sinister in her tone, “you tell me right away. Got it?”

Armin shuddered at the malice in her words, and replied “Got it.”

They drew closer to one of the clusters of dorm halls, where Armin lived. Remembering that his first floor meeting of the year was this evening, Armin questioned what his other floor mates would be like. After Annie’s analysis of that girl, he sincerely hoped that none of the others would be like that.

_“Still, guess I won’t know until tonight.”_

Annie suddenly smirked and said “Oh, you’ll get a kick out of this. Your friend, Mikasa, she’s my roommate this year.”

Armin was shocked, and then worried, because that could prove to be a deadly combination. Mikasa and Annie had seen each other around campus multiple times last year, and for some reason, they had a strong distaste for each other. And that was odd, considering how similar they were personality wise.

As if she had read his thoughts, Annie snorted and told Armin “Don’t worry, I promise I won’t start anything with her.”

He chuckled and asked her “But how did that happen? You didn’t request to be roommates with her, did you?”

“Nope. Just a matter of potluck. Probably the same for her. The best part about this is that we have two other roommates.”

That was even more shocking, given how severely introverted she was.

“Oh geez, Annie, are you sure that’s a good idea?” Annie had had numerous issues with her one roommate from last year. Two more roommates were bound to piss her off.

“Doesn’t matter if it was a good idea. It’s what I got stuck with.”

“I guess. Well, looks like we’ll both have interesting living arrangements this year.”

“Mhm. Oh, one last thing before we part ways…have you found a guy yet?”

Armin blushed and muttered “No, not yet.”

He was still hoping beyond hope that his luck with finding the right guy would change soon. But there was only so much he could do to make that happen. Armin was heavily drawn to athletic guys, but if any of them were gay, they were hiding it very well.

Annie gave him a sympathetic look and gently said “In time, you’ll find him Armin. Is there anybody particularly on your mind?”

He nodded hesitantly and told her “Well, I had a really vivid…and kinky dream involving a very tall, buff blonde guy last year-“

“Armin” she interjected. “Don’t pursue a guy from your dreams, or you’ll bring yourself to ruin.”

He sighed and said “I know.”

_“I just can’t help but hope, that’s all.”_

They had arrived at Armin’s dorm, just as the sun was beginning to dip below the tall buildings on the far side of the campus. Armin turned to Annie and gave her a quick hug, silently hoping that she wouldn’t get involved in a petty roommate fiasco.

“See you tomorrow, Armin.”

“See you tomorrow, Annie.”

They waved goodbye, and Armin watched her saunter off in the direction of her dorm. Out of the blue, he found himself wondering what life would be like if he had the capacity to love her as more than his best friend.

 _“Wait, what?”_ he wondered. _“Where the heck did that come from?”_

He shook his head in confusion and walked into the dorm.

* * *

 The floor meeting took place late in the evening, as the sky outside the window began to unveil the stars. Armin and a few others had already sat down in the chairs in the floor’s lounge, which was situated in the middle of the hall, in front of the elevators and stairs. To his right was his Resident Assistant Hannah Diamant, a kind girl who seemed to be emanating cheerfulness. She was looking around her, waiting for everybody else to arrive.

One by one, the rest of the floor walked into the lounge, all of them looking bored out of their minds. It was obvious to Armin that his floor mates couldn’t care less about the meeting. If Hannah could tell, she was showing no signs of noticing.

When the last few people had trickled in, Hannah said “Hi everyone! Hope you all had a great start to your year! This meeting is just for us to get to know each other, and to go over some basic rules.”

Several people rolled their eyes, which was understandable to Armin, seeing as they all had gone through plenty of icebreakers already. He felt a twinge of discomfort as he noticed the odd girl from yesterday giving him that undefinable look.

“Let’s go around and introduce ourselves,” Hannah said. “Tell us your name, year, major, and something interesting about yourselves.”

They started off with the elegant looking girl to Hannah’s immediate right, who introduced herself as Clair.

“I’m a sophomore, and my major is Marketing. Something interesting about me is that I love to go on walks with my dogs.”

A few other girls giggled in approval, and they went to the next person.

“My name’s Elise, and I’m a sophomore with a major in Dance. Well, I guess something interesting about me is that I love to dance?”

Armin noticed that Elise seemed to be very similar to Annie in that she was petite, and just as quiet as his friend. She seemed, out of everybody gathered, to be the least interested in the meeting. Everything about her, from the distant look in her eyes and how she was gazing away from the group, indicated that her thoughts were somewhere else far away from Sansburg Hall.

Several people introduced themselves, until it was time for the girl with the odd look to speak. To Armin, it seemed she had a strange haughtiness in her eyes, almost like she was wary of everybody around her. Overall, she appeared to be an intense person.

“My name’s Kayla,” the girl began. “I’m a sophomore here, and my major is Business. As for the interesting fact, my friends and family mean the world to me.”

The majority of the people gathered, including Armin, nodded in agreement. For Armin, that hit home rather hard; both of his parents died in a car crash when he was young, and he had lived in a state of recovery with both of his grandparents until his grandmother died from cancer only a couple of years later. Now, he and his grandpa leaned on each other as their main sources of comfort for the grief that they were still dealing with.

A few more minutes passed, and Armin finally got his turn to speak. Although he was a bit flustered from having to introduce himself to so many strangers, he made himself talk.

“Hi! My name’s Armin, I’m a sophomore with a major in Music. My interesting fact is that I’m also studying Japanese.”

There was a moment of silence all around until Clair muttered “Sounds awesome” in a way that made others around her snigger. Armin did what he could to hide his confusion. When he had told the other guys in his old dorm about his interest in Japanese, they had all seemed to be cool with it.

 _“This isn’t at all what happened last year!”_ he thought miserably. _“First the anti-social crap, and now this!”_

Hannah seemed to be utterly oblivious to the snickering happening around her, as she gave her own introduction.

“As you all know, my name’s Hannah, and I’m a junior this year! My major is French, and my interesting fact is I would love to teach the language!”

All she got in response was a few lazy nods from the others. Ignoring this, Hannah began to read off the list of rules for the floor, which Armin failed to pay attention to. Once again, Kayla was looking at him like he was a rodent in her house, and his mind was reeling with aggravation.

Thankfully, the meeting ended when Hannah finished reading the rules to them. Everybody left for their rooms, clearly eager to be done, and Armin slipped back into his room quietly. He sat down on his bed and made himself take a deep breath. He knew that there wasn’t any point in focusing on the apparent snootiness of some of his floor mates. Constantly mulling over that would only make him ill.

After he got ready for the night, he recalled Annie’s multiple warnings, not just about Kayla, but also about pursuing a guy he had only seen in a dream.

 _”It was such a great dream though,”_ Armin mused.

During a September night last year, when he had still been questioning his sexuality, Armin’s dream had suddenly shifted from the usual delusion to something weirdly erotic that he had told nobody about. The subject matter would’ve made even Eren, who could hardly be called prudish, blush scarlet. In that scene, a massive blonde guy had made powerful love to Armin, resulting in an awkward surprise when he had woken up.

Despite Annie’s warnings and his own misgivings, Armin knew that he was still hoping, however foolishly, that his man-to-be was the guy from that dream.

_”Better to focus on that dream than this rubbish.”_


	3. Chapter 3

The first month of the semester zoomed by for Armin, and sooner than he had thought, his nights were spent pouring over his textbooks and the web, trying his hardest to not crumble under all of the projects that were being thrown his way.

His life in Sansburg Hall was incredibly dull. So far, it seemed that nobody talked to each other, except when they were fumbling about in the laundry room or doing dishes. The only time Armin had seen people talking together was when Clair and a few other girls were sitting in one of the lounge’s tables, idly gossiping about a couple they had seen on campus.

When Armin walked past their table one day after his classes were finished, he had tried to be amicable, but his attempt only resulted in them saying “hi” back rather coldly. Clair in particular had looked at him with a slight sneer on her lips, and made no intention of acting friendly.

The atmosphere on the floor was made much worse by Kayla, who continued to shoot Armin that weird look whenever they passed each other. Multiple times, Armin considered asking her what her deal was, but then decided to ignore it as best he could.

 _“What is with the girls on this floor?”_ he thought, trying to not let their attitudes get to him. _“None of the guys back in Wickson ever had this ‘holier than thou’ attitude!”_

Adding further to Armin’s annoyance was Elise, the petite girl who seemed to tag along with Kayla often. Whenever she looked at Armin, an intense fear could be seen etched into her eyes. Armin wasn’t sure if he was supposed to laugh or take it seriously, seeing as somebody like himself couldn’t possibly do that much damage to anybody.

One afternoon, Armin and Kayla unwittingly walked into the elevator together, and once again, Kayla gave him that look of what seemed to be disgust. Armin managed to calm his nerves and tried to strike up a conversation with her.

“How are you?” he nervously asked her, hoping to ease the tension.

“I’m fine,” she said abruptly, glancing away from him as the elevator landed on their floor.

She brushed past him, and Armin watched her quickly walk to her room.

_“Well, that was a waste of time. So much for small talk.”_

* * *

 A few days later, Armin, Eren and Mikasa went out to eat, with Eren choosing a steakhouse to dine at. Mikasa and Armin exchanged nervous glances, knowing how intense Eren could get about a good medium-rare slab of meat. Multiple times in just the last year, the two of them had seen Eren ferociously attack his steak the instant it arrived to their table, almost like a lion in the wilderness.

“This time, control yourself,” Mikasa told him as they sat down. “The last thing I want is for the other people here to see my brother eating his food like a raving animal.”

“Oh, please!” he retorted, his eyes searching hungrily over the menu for his favorite dish. “You would act just like me if you ate the steaks here.”

“Not in a million years, Eren.”

“Whatever.”

Armin cleared his throat and asked them “How are classes going, guys? I’m already bogged down with projects, lucky me.”

Mikasa yawned and said “Eh, they’re ok. Luckily, I haven’t gotten any projects yet, though I do have a paper I’ll need to get started on soon. What about you, Eren?”

Without taking his eyes off of the menu, Eren said “Same as last year, everything’s boring.”

Unless he was taking a history class about wars, Eren never seemed to be interested in anything academic. Armin was worried that his childhood friend’s apathy would destroy his GPA.

Mikasa glared at Eren and hissed “You better be studying hard, Eren, or me and Mom will kick your sorry behind into submission.”

“Fine, fine, I’ll study some more, geez!”

When their food arrived, Eren nearly attacked his steak with his trademark ferocity, but Mikasa spat “ **Don’t you dare** ” and he made himself slowly eat it piece by piece. Armin chuckled, always enjoying Eren’s unintentional dinner show, no matter how messy things could get.

As they ate dinner, Mikasa turned to Armin and asked him “How’s your new dorm?”

Armin groaned and told her “Ugh Mikasa, you weren’t kidding about it being anti-social!”

Mikasa’s eyebrows shot up in alarm, and even Eren stopped eating, his mouth hanging open awkwardly, half-way through devouring a rather large hunk of steak.

“What do you mean, Armin?” Mikasa asked him, her tone filling with worry. “Are people mistreating you?”

“Well, not really, but they aren’t very friendly. All of the girls I’ve talked to weren’t at all cordial. Every single time I try to strike up a conversation, I get nowhere.”

Mikasa grumbled menacingly and said “Anybody does anything to you, I’m going in there and busting some heads.”

Eren asked him “But why wouldn’t anybody want to be friendly with **you** , Armin? You’re an adorable midget!”

“Wha-I am **not** a midget!” Armin spat, getting flustered despite the seriousness of the conversation. Mikasa tried unsuccessfully to stifle her giggles as Eren went on.

“You’re just trying to be your normal, friendly self! What girl wouldn’t like that?”

“If I knew that, I wouldn’t be having this problem.”

Mikasa patted Armin on the head and told him “Well, if anybody does try anything, just let us know, and we’ll deal with them.”

Eren cracked his knuckles in what must’ve been an attempt to be scary, and shouted “Hell yeah, you know we will!”

The people around them shot looks of irritation towards their table, and Mikasa whacked Eren on the head. Armin laughed, knowing that he had good friends to back him up.

When they had paid and left, Mikasa asked Eren “Have you looked at your bank account lately? You keep buying steak after steak, and those things aren’t cheap. Mom’s gonna yell at you if you don’t monitor your meat spending, you know.”

Eren shrugged his shoulders and took out his phone to look at his checking account. As they walked back to their dorms, Armin and Mikasa eagerly watched Eren, waiting for his reaction to what they already knew.

Sure enough, Eren’s eyes widened in horror and he spat a series of curse words that left Armin and Mikasa cackling with laughter.

“Shit, Mom’s gonna kill me!”

“Well duh, Eren. If you actually listened to me, this wouldn’t be an issue,” Mikasa told him, unable to stop laughing at him.

Armin giggled, enjoying the humor that Eren never failed to provide on their nights out. He watched his two friends go back and forth about Eren’s budget problems, Eren’s face turning red and Mikasa snickering as she continued to scold him.

As they neared Armin’s dorm, Mikasa told Armin “Have a good night. I’ll walk Eren back so that he doesn’t get himself in trouble.”

“Oh shut up, Mikasa!”

Armin laughed and waved goodbye to them, watching Mikasa drag Eren away, who was going on and on about how he didn’t need her to chaperone him. After watching them fade into the night, Armin walked into his dorm building.

* * *

 When he walked into the first floor of the building, he saw Kayla and a few other girls standing in front of the doors, waiting for the elevator to come down. Armin walked towards them, still smiling from the goofy night.

Upon hearing him walking behind them, they all turned around and stared at him. Their looks quickly turned into glares of intense malice, with Kayla’s face contorting into an ugly snarl. Armin stopped walking towards the elevators and chose to climb the stairs instead, hoping to get away from the sudden shift in atmosphere.

He walked up the stairs to the 4th floor, worrying over the strange surge of anger he had received back there.

_“What’s their problem? All I did was walk towards the elevators, right? So why…”_

When he walked back onto his floor, he heard the elevator doors open behind him. Armin heard Kayla and her friends step off the elevator, and he made himself walk to his room without looking behind him.

“I’m sick of seeing that weirdo on this floor all the time!” he heard Kayla shout, her rage making Armin shiver.

He saw her walking towards him out of the corner of his eye, and he turned to give her a confused look. In response, she glowered at him, and tromped over to a room out of Armin’s sight. He heard her pound on the door and call out Clair’s name.

As he unlocked his room, he heard Kayla hissing something about him. Armin gritted his teeth in frustration and made himself lay down on his bed.

_“This is ridiculous! What the hell did I do to piss her off so badly?”_

Unable to think of an answer to his own question, he eventually drifted off to sleep.

* * *

 To Armin’s irritation, Kayla began to appear everywhere he went on the floor with each passing day. There didn’t seem to be a time where he didn’t see her in the lounge in the middle of the floor, gossiping with Elise and other girls about different people. Armin was certain that he heard his name brought up by her multiple times.

He wanted to avoid seething over the change in atmosphere, but he couldn’t deny that he was getting quickly fed up with Kayla’s behavior. Every day after the incident that past weekend, Kayla had taken to glaring him down whenever she saw him walking outside his room. Armin did his best to keep walking, despite his growing urge to snap at her to back off.

Annie noticed his change in attitude during Japanese class, and quickly pried out of him what was happening. He wasn’t at all surprised when she began to fume after hearing him out.

“Fucking girls. Why the hell is it always some stupid girl who starts this crap?” she snarled, the question seeming to be directed at neither Armin nor herself.

“Are you ok, Armin?” she asked him, as Armin tried again to understand why Kayla seemed to be so against him.

“Yeah, I’m ok. I’m just confused.”

“I’m not confused. This bitch is clearly trying to start something.”

“What? Annie, how do you know that?”

“Armin, I’ve known plenty of scum like her. Stay away from her and anybody like her on that floor. From what you’ve told me, she’s the type who’s out to hurt somebody for whatever sick reasons she has.”

“But she hasn’t done anything physical-“

Annie stopped him with an icy look and told him “Don’t be naïve. Just because she isn’t touching you doesn’t mean that she isn’t planning to eventually. I mean it Armin, keep away from her. And tell me if this gets worse.”

“I will.”

* * *

 At his job in the campus bookstore, his manager took him aside and asked him why he seemed to be on edge.

“You’re never this uptight, Armin,” the elderly woman told him, looking at him quizzically. “What’s wrong?”

“There’s this irritating girl who seems to hate me on my dorm floor,” he explained to her. “She glares at me whenever she sees me, and I’m pretty sure that she’s gossiping about me with her friends.”

She groaned and muttered “Just like my old high school days…well, good luck to you. I don’t really know what else to say. Girls can be petty, unfortunately. Just be sure you stay safe.”

“Don’t worry, I will.”

When his manager walked away, Armin sighed, feeling oddly drained after talking about Kayla with not just Annie, but his manager of all people. Even mentioning that girl was taking a toll on him somehow.

* * *

 Eventually, Armin started seeing Kayla while he was walking around campus between classes. Once again, she immediately started glaring at him on sight, and his anger slowly turned into a mirth that he couldn’t hold back. He started snickering whenever he saw her, unable to take her strange hate for him seriously.

All that seemed to do was rile Kayla up further though, because late one night while Armin was walking across the floor with a load of laundry, he saw Kayla sitting with Clair, Elise and a few other girls, loudly talking about him.

“That freak is full of himself! Every time he sees me, he starts laughing like an idiot! One of these days, I’ll teach him to respect his superiors!”

Clair saw him walking past them, and pointed him out with a snigger.

Kayla whirled around and sneered at Armin, and the rest of her friends quickly followed suit. Armin began to silently freak out, and he nearly ran with his laundry in tow back to his room. His heart was pounding inside his chest, and he thought that he might collapse from the enormous anxiety he was feeling.

 _“What is her problem?”_ he thought, bewildered at how quickly the problem was worsening.

He grabbed his phone and called Annie, desperate to talk to someone in the hope that he could calm down by having somebody hear him out.

Annie quickly answered his call, and asked him “What’s up?”

Without missing a beat, Armin told her “Annie, it’s gotten worse!”

He heard her inhale sharply on the other end, and she snapped back “What? Tell me what happened!”

Armin relayed to her what was going on in the lounge, and Annie swore vehemently.

“This is just like I warned you, Armin. Those scum are definitely out to get you.”

“But why?” Armin wailed. “I haven’t done anything to them!”

“Armin,” Annie said patiently, “These are people who don’t need a reason to hurt you.”

He shuddered, beginning to feel fear rising up in him. Armin thought about Kayla trying to attack him physically next, and he knew that he wouldn’t be able to defend himself well if that happened.

“Alright,” Annie said. “I’m bringing in my own special back up for you. I’m going to give your number to a woman I trust deeply. I want you to tell her everything, ok?”

Armin paused for a moment, wondering who Annie would call, and then said to her “Ok.”

“Good. Hang in there, Armin.”

“I’ll try.”

Annie hung up, and silence filled Armin’s room. In the distance, where the lounge was, Armin could hear Kayla and the others laughing and hissing about something. Armin was paranoid that they were still gossiping about him.

10 minutes passed before his phone rang. Armin hesitantly picked it up, and answered it after reminding himself that Annie knew what she was doing.

“Hey, sweetie,” he heard a woman say to him in a motherly tone. “Annie told me what’s going on. My name’s Helen. I’m from Annie’s neighborhood. She and my daughter grew up together.”

“Hello. There’s this girl on my dorm floor. Um, I feel like she’s enlisting other girls on the floor against me. I think she hates me for some reason. But I can’t remember ever being mean to her.”

“I see. I know that Annie’s told you this already, but please, stay away from them, because they no doubt have bad intentions for you. I would recommend telling the people closest to you about this, and I would consider telling your RA about this too.”

Armin flinched, remembering how Hannah hadn’t reacted to Clair and the others laughing at him when he had introduced himself weeks ago.

“I’ll be sure to tell people,” he told Helen, not wanting to commit to involving Hannah in this.

“Good. I’m sorry this is happening to you, Armin. Please keep me and Annie in touch, and don’t hesitate to call either of us if this gets worse, ok?”

“Ok. Thank you, Helen.”

“Of course, sweetie. Good night.”

With that, the call ended. Armin let himself breathe, knowing that Annie would never let anything bad happen to him.

_“I wonder though…why does this Helen lady want to help me so badly? Is she part of a gay rights group or something?”_

* * *

  _When Armin told me what that bitch had done, I flipped out and almost lost my temper in my room. I was afraid that something like this would happen, based on what Armin had previously told me._

_I knew that Helen would be able to provide him advice on how to handle this crap. Helen is one of the few adults that I actually respect, besides my father and a handful of others. Her integrity and desire to protect others is worthy of a medal._

_The reason I called Helen immediately after talking to Armin is simple: Helen knew how to handle this because her own daughter went through something similar. When I was in high school, her daughter was targeted by girls very similar to the scum on Armin’s dorm floor._

_And eventually, that malice killed her. Some piece of shit took her life the summer after she graduated. Helen and I will never be able to forget that. Neither of us can forget how she was murdered, despite never trying to hurt anybody._

_That is why the two of us swore to do everything in our power to protect Armin. We refused to let anything happen to him, because if we did, then we had failed to learn anything from what happened to Helen’s daughter._


	4. Chapter 4

Armin walked towards the stairwell at the end of his floor, wishing desperately that he wouldn’t have to run into Kayla again. It was now mid-October, and for the first half of his semester, he had done his best to grit his teeth and endure the petty malice the girls on his floor showed him every week.

As he neared the door leading to the long series of stairs in the building, he felt somebody shove past him in a hurry. Kayla sneered at him over his shoulder and shouted “Pay attention for once!” as she ran out of sight. Armin groaned and made himself stop for a moment so he could calm down.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a girl he hadn’t seen before sitting in one of the lounge chairs, looking at him with a horrified expression on her face. Armin turned to her and helplessly shrugged his shoulders, at a loss as to why he was being singled out nonstop. The girl grimaced and threw her hands up sheepishly in response.

Armin sighed and walked off his floor, muttering to himself “At least there’s one decent person on this floor.”

* * *

 When he arrived at his Japanese classroom, he was the only one there, which didn’t surprise him as he was super early. The windows were cracked open, and chilly October air was seeping through. Armin wrapped his scarf tighter around his neck, hoping that Annie would arrive soon. While he waited, Armin had his favorite Japanese song playing on repeat. It was a power ballad about something that he couldn’t comprehend.

About 5 minutes later, she came plodding in, looking exhausted. Armin knew that she was finishing up her midterms for the semester, and that she had been pulling multiple all-nighters trying to keep up.

“Hey, Annie! Uh, are you doing ok?” he asked her hesitantly, watching her collapse into the seat next to him.

“Hi Armin. Well, I stayed up ‘til about 4 in the morning trying to prepare for that damned Child Psychology exam. I knew that kids could be a pain in the ass, but this definitely takes the cake.”

Armin grimaced, knowing that Annie’s Psychology major could be far more stressful than this Music major.

“But hey, you made it, right?”

“I guess. Hey, what’s that you’re listening to?”

She was looking at the cover art of the song he was listening to. Armin grinned at her and gave her one of her earbuds.

“This is my favorite song ever! Here, listen to it and tell me what you think!”

The two friends sat side by side, sharing Armin’s headphone’s as they listened to the woman’s strong voice say things in Japanese that were beyond their understanding.

Armin watched a small smile grow on Annie’s face as the song reached its climax.

 _“I knew she’d like it,”_ he mused, pleased that he had shared the beauty of the song with somebody.

When the song was finished, Annie yanked the earbud out and told him “I see why you love it so much. I just wish I could understand what she’s singing about.”

Armin shrugged and told her “Whatever it is, I’m sure it’s something really beautiful.”

Annie smirked and said “Are you sure, Armin? For all we know, this could be a ballad about killer rabbits.”

Armin burst out in a fit of giggles and Annie sniggered.

It took them both a minute to regain their composure. Armin clutched at his aching stomach and asked her “Why killer rabbits, Annie?”

She gave him a smug look and told him “Hey, you never know.”

As they continued to laugh, the rests of their classmates came in, and soon after, their sensei came suit.

The class session dragged on, until the two of them were finally able to leave. They headed towards their favorite dining hall, their stomachs rumbling.

Lunch was spent mostly in silence as they devoured their food with gusto. Annie yawned when she finished and asked him “Hey, is everything going ok on your floor?”

Armin sighed and told her “Yeah. I just can’t understand why there are so many mean girls on my floor.”

Annie muttered “Birds of a feather flock together, as they always say. And bitches aren’t an exception.”

He pushed away his plate and said “I wish my Dad was still around. He was a police officer, and he would’ve been on this so fast.”

Annie looked at him sadly and asked him “Your Dad was really protective of you, wasn’t he?”

“Yeah. He didn’t put up with any crap. He was always the first person in my family to get angry when anything would happen to me.”

“He must’ve been a badass policeman.”

“Oh, he was. Nobody could stand in his way when he was on the job.”

Annie smiled and asked him “Do you have a favorite memory of him?”

Armin sat still and pondered for a moment, trying to think through his times with his father Will, the giant of a man with a golden heart.

“There **is** one memory I can think of,” he told her, thinking back to his elementary school years. “Like I’ve already told you, my Dad was always there for me when people tried to hurt me. There was a time when I was in 3 rd grade when I was getting picked on by some stupid kids…”

* * *

 Armin sat in the guidance counselor’s office, sniffling and wiping away his tears. The pack of 5th graders had been at it again, except their usual verbal taunts had been mixed with words that Armin had never heard of before.

_“What did they mean when they called me a-“_

“Armin?”

In the doorway stood the guidance counselor, a kind old woman who did her best to look out for every student that came to her for help. Armin had made himself tell her what had happened right after school ended, when Zachary and his friends had backed him up against the lockers and toyed with him, until a teacher finally walked by.

“Sweetie, your father’s waiting in the main office. Please come with me.”

Armin followed her, trying to forget what he had been put through.

When they walked into the main office, the principal and Armin’s father, a massive blonde giant, were talking in hushed voices. Armin was able to pick up parts of what they were saying.

“I want a full report of what’s been happening to my kid, you understand? This has gone on long enough.”

“Look, Mr. Arlert, I know you’re upset-“

“Upset? You’ve been letting these brats target my child for weeks now! Do you have any idea what might’ve happened if Armin hadn’t gone to the guidance counselor sooner?”

“But I can’t just write up Zachary and those other boys like that! Their parents have dedicated their time and money to improving this school-“

“Either write a report, or I’ll file one with my workplace. I’ve wasted my time trying to put up with your crap.”

Will saw Armin out of the corner of his eye, and his composure momentarily faltered when he saw the tears drying on his child’s cheeks. Armin looked up at him with eyes pleading to be taken as far from the school as possible.

“Armin told me everything that’s happened to him, Mr. Arlert,” the guidance counselor told him. “It’s worse than I thought. What those boys said to him…”

She shuddered, and Armin watched his father grit his teeth. Will glared down at the principal, who quaked under his gaze.

“You’ve heard my last warning. I don’t get a response from you by next week, expect my boss to be contacting you.”

He looked at Armin and gently said “Let’s go home, son.”

Armin and his Dad left the elementary school hand in hand, his father looking imposing in his uniform.

 _“He must’ve been called on duty,”_ Armin realized.

While Will drove them home, he kept looking at Armin over his shoulder, worry creasing his features. Armin was gazing out the window, trying to keep the images of Zach and his goons out of his memory. The newest insult that the pig had spouted was still itching at the back of his mind, and Armin had a sinking sensation that it was the cruelest word in Zach’s vocabulary.

“Armin?” Will hesitantly asked him, as the scenery around them zoomed by, “Are you ok son?”

Armin gulped and told him “I…I don’t know, Dad. Zach was really mean today. Meaner than usual. He and his friends kept calling me this weird word…”

“What word?” Will was gripping the wheel tight enough to turn his knuckles bleach-white. Armin shuddered, knowing that his father was going to snap once he heard what had happened.

“Um…Dad…what’s a “faggot”?

His father swore so loudly that Armin nearly jumped out of his seat in fright. Will was breathing heavily, trying to not lose his temper in front of his kid. The car was at a stoplight, giving him the opportunity to fully look at Armin. Will’s agitation was making Armin shudder, it was so palpable.

“They called you a **what**?” his father asked him. Armin thought that his dad was begging him to deny what he had just said.

Armin sniffled, feeling the tears welling up again. Will grimaced, and shot a quick look at the car’s clock.

“Hey, let’s head over to the park real quick, ok? I want you to tell me everything that happened.”

“Ok Dad.”

Will drove them to the park near their home, a quiet area near the river that teemed with various colors in the spring. Will opened the door of the car and helped Armin out, leading him by the hand to one of the nearby benches. They sat down together, and Will looked down at him intently, his sharp blue eyes boring into his son’s exhausted face.

“What have these boys been doing to you, son? Please don’t hide any of this from me.”

Armin made himself look up at his Dad, and he began to speak.

“A few weeks ago, Zach and his friends starting shoving me up against the lockers after school ended, and yelling in my face about how ‘girly’ and a wimp I am. I didn’t do anything to make them angry, I promise! All I did was walk past them after class, and…”

Will gently laid his hand on top of Armin’s, covering it up completely.

“You don’t need to apologize for any of this, son,” he told Armin, his voice softer than usual. “None of this is your fault. The only ones to blame for this crap are those snot-nosed brats. I promise you, I’m gonna do whatever I can to stop this from happening again.”

Armin managed to give a small smile in response. He knew that his father’s words were filled with integrity; William Arlert always made good on his word when he swore to protect somebody from future harm. It didn’t matter how dangerous the situation seemed for the victim, Will was absolutely ruthless with hunting down their attackers and ensuring that justice was served.

The new insult that Armin had heard earlier that day was still agitating the back of his mind, and he felt an unpleasant desire to know what it meant.

“Uh…so Dad, what does that word mean?” he asked his father.

Will let out a sad sigh and briefly looked away, desperate to avoid the conversation that was about to take place.

“No child should know what that word means, son,” he began. “That’s a vile word used by people who are desperate to believe that they’re superior to others. I can’t tell you exactly what that word means, because there are some things in this world that you won’t be able to understand until you’re a bit older.”

He paused, and then bent down, wrapping a huge arm around Armin’s frail shoulders. Will pulled his son close to him, holding him close in a tight side hug.

“Armin, buddy, listen to me,” Will pleaded. “The boys that attacked you will **never** be better than you; they’ve already sunk to the level of absolute trash. They tried to hurt you and call you things because they hate you for being different. But Armin, **there’s nothing wrong with you**. You might not be like other boys your age, but your difference is a blessing, not a curse. You were made this way for a special reason, and that reason isn’t so that you can be picked on.”

Armin felt himself finally relaxing, his father’s words soothing his hurt.

“You might have to deal with more ugly people like them in the future, son, but no matter how hateful and twisted they may be, they’ll never be able to overcome the love that you have in your life. I love you. Your mother loves you. Your grandparents love you. And don’t you ever forget that no matter what happens, most of all, God loves you too.”

With that, Will bent down and wrapped Armin up completely, in a massive embrace, holding him tight against his huge torso. Armin snuggled into the hug, trying and failing to wrap his small arms around his father.

“I love you, son,” Will gently told Armin.

“I love you too, Dad,” Armin replied, no longer afraid of being hurt by Zach and his goons again.

Will lifted Armin up, still in his embrace, and carried his son back to the car, where they drove away towards the house of Armin’s grandparents, where a family dinner was being planned for the night.

When they entered their house, they were greeted by Judie, Armin’s beloved grandma, whirling around her kitchen in a dark blue apron, dancing to old music on her radio as she cooked up several delicious smelling dishes.

“Hello boys!” she sang, rapidly stirring a massive pot of what Armin guessed was mashed potatoes by the smell. “Dinner will be ready soon. Will, would you do me a favor and help your father set up the table?”

“Of course, Mom,” he told her, bending down to kiss her on the cheek. Will grabbed a stack of plates from the cupboard and went into the dining room, where the clack of the ceramic could be heard. Armin heard his grandpa shout a greeting from the kitchen, and Armin yelled hello back in reply.

Judie turned to Armin and beamed at him.

“How did school go today, dear?” she asked him, gently tussling his hair as she continued to stir the pot of potatoes.

Armin smiled back at her and told her “Well, those boys came after me again. But Dad’s not gonna let them get away with it. He took me to the park after he picked me up from school and gave me a long talk that calmed me down. He’s gonna make sure that they get disciplined, and that I don’t get hurt again.”

Judie sighed in relief and muttered “I’m sorry that they even once went after you, sweetie. May God have mercy on their souls…and on the souls of their parents who taught them to act in such a detestable way.”

The two of them heard the front door open, and Armin felt his spirits surge. He whirled around with a wide grin on his face and ran forward.

“ **Mom!** ” he shouted, overjoyed at seeing his mother after a long and troubling day.

His mother, a beautiful woman with long blondish-brown hair, opened her arms wide with a smile as Armin tackled her, nearly knocking her off her feet. She chuckled and held her child close, happy to see him as well.

“Hey, sweetie. It’s good to see you,” she said, her light brown eyes twinkling with joy.

A small frown creased her features and she asked him “Are you ok? The guidance counselor called me about what happened today.

Armin nodded and as they walked into the kitchen with her arm wrapped around his shoulder, the two of them only a few inches apart in height.

“I’m ok. Dad and I had a long talk that really made me feel better. And he’s gonna do everything he can to make sure that it doesn’t happen again.”

“Oh, good. I’m glad, Armin.”

Judie greeted her with a wave, saying “Hi Ellie! I’m almost finished cooking. Will and John are in the dining room setting up the table.”

“Hi Judie! It’s good to be here. I’m starving!”

Mother and son walked into the dining room, their stomachs rumbling and their spirits high.

* * *

 Annie had a small smile on her face as Armin finished telling her his memory.

“That’s awesome, Armin,” she said. “Sounds like you had a really cool dad.”

Armin nodded and told her “You should’ve seen what happened after Dad confronted my principal. Dad told me and everybody else that he had contacted his boss at the police station as backup, in case my principal refused to do anything. Well, sure enough, nothing was done, so Dad’s boss and a few other police officers got involved.”

Armin sniggered, and Annie raised an eyebrow in question.

“They found out that I wasn’t the only one that Zach had been bullying. A few other kids in my school were also getting picked on by him, and Zach’s filthy rich parents were bribing my principal to cover it all up. When the district found out, they were furious, and fired my principal. Zach and his parents had everything completely blow up in their faces, and they had to leave the state because their reputation was ruined.”

The memory of his father pounding the air with his fists and bellowing “Justice, motherf-cker!” after learning that Armin’s principal had been fired as punishment was a scene that Armin cherished. William Arlert had no pity for the man who had covered up his son’s torment.

“I’m glad that your father looked out for you so much. Dads can be true superheroes sometimes.”

“He really was a superhero, Annie. Well, to me, at least. He always showed up when I needed him most.”

He stiffened, realizing that there was another memory of his father resurfacing from his subconscious.

“Uh, actually, I have a close second favorite memory of him…”

Annie saw how shaken he already looked and hesitantly asked him “What’s the memory?”

Armin gulped and told her “About 10 years ago, I got lost during the Memorial Day parade…”

* * *

 Armin looked around at the crowds pressing in on him, terror seizing control of him. Only a few minutes ago, the mass of people walking around the street had separated him from his family, and Armin didn’t know where they could be. Everywhere he looked, people thronged around him, pushing forward and taking Armin in the flow.

While he desperately thought of what to do, a group of middle-aged men saw him in the middle of the tide, and walked over to him. Their leader bent down so that he and Armin were at eye level.

“Hey buddy, you look lost.”

“Please, help me!” Armin pleaded. “I can’t find my family!”

The men looked at each other and nodded. The leader told Armin “Come with us, and we’ll help you find them.”

Armin followed the group of men through the massive crowd to the backyard of a rundown house. The house blocked out his view of the street and the throngs surrounding it. It dawned on Armin too late that nobody in the area would be able to see past the house.

Suddenly, a large hand clamped down on Armin’s shoulder, gripping him in place, while another hand wrapped around his mouth and nose, holding a strange smelling cloth. Armin tried to scream for help and failed, the cloth and hand blocking out his feeble noise. The smell overwhelmed his senses, and Armin’s vision faded to black.

When he woke up, he found himself in a rotting one-floor cabin in a woods far from his hometown. The one window in the building showed a cloudy sky outside that had no light coming through. Armin tried to move and realized that he was bound and gagged. He attempted to scream, and only a pitiful muffle came out.

 _“Why is this happening to me?!”_ he thought, panicking at the knowledge that he had been kidnapped.

Outside, he could hear his kidnappers chatting idly about the situation.

“The brat should be awake by now, right?”

“Probably. Bet the little ----‘s scared out of his mind.”

“What should we do if he tries to run away?”

“Don’t be ridiculous, he’s bound tight. Even if he manages to get out of those bonds, we’ll shoot him in the leg, and that’s the end of that.”

As if the man wanted to validate what he was saying, Armin heard a pistol being withdrawn and loaded with bullets.

_“No! I don’t want to die in the hands of these cruel people!”_

Armin wriggled about, trying desperately to move his arms out of their bonds. He heard the men swear in anger, and footsteps coming towards him.

 _“Mom, Dad, somebody help me!”_ Armin thought, shouting a silent plea. _“Grandma, Grandpa, do something, please!”_

Armin then remembered a religious lecture that Grandma Judie had given him when the drama surrounding Zach and his school finally finished up. She had taken him aside and told him rather sternly that in all situations, no matter how hopeless it seemed to be, Armin should always call on God to save him.

Armin shut his eyes tight and prayed the hardest he had ever prayed in his whole life: _“God, please save me!”_

At that moment, another pair of footsteps could be heard outside the cabin, and Armin heard his kidnappers stop in their tracks. Armin watched in confusion as sunlight began to slowly seep in, illuminating the inside of the cabin.

“Who the ---- are you?!” he heard the leader shout. Armin could hear the newcomer stop outside the cabin. The sunlight was becoming intense, nearly blinding Armin.

Armin heard a strong man’s voice say calmly but firmly “Give Armin to me, and I’ll spare you cowards your lives.”

The four kidnappers all swore at Armin’s apparent savior, and he heard them draw out their guns.

“Walk your sorry behind away, or we’ll blast you to bits! Doesn’t matter how big you are, you’re one against four!”

A cold edge of steel coated the newcomer’s tone as he replied “Then so be it.”

 A split second later, Armin clamped his eyes shut and cringed as rapid gunfire sounded next to the cabin, his kidnappers screaming in agony. After only a matter of moments, the last gunshot echoed away, and he heard bodies crumple to the ground.

Heavy footfalls sounded in the cabin as the stranger walked towards Armin, still bound on the floor. Armin felt warmer for some reason, as if the sunlight itself was coming his way.

Two strong yet gentle hands easily undid the bindings all over Armin’s body, and he gasped for air as the gag in his mouth was removed. He slowly opened his eyes and squinted at the light entering his field of vision. Armin looked up and gasped when he saw who had come to his aid.

A tall and powerfully built man with short blonde hair was kneeling next to him, a gentle smile on his face. Armin couldn’t see him clearly because of the light in the cabin. He thought that the sunlight must’ve been pouring in all of a sudden. He vaguely recognized a police uniform on the man, and he wondered if his father had somehow come to his rescue.

_“But is this really my Dad? How did he get here the instant I said that prayer?”_

The man extended a massive hand towards Armin, who hesitantly took it. The stranger carefully helped Armin rise to his feet, making sure that the boy didn’t stumble. Armin looked up at the man in awe, no longer feeling terrified.

“You’re safe now, buddy,” the man said to him, still smiling down at him. “Those men can’t do anything else to you.”

Armin sniffled and felt tears of relief welling up within him. The man opened his arms, and Armin gladly leaned into the embrace, feeling the stranger’s powerful arms wrap around him tightly, holding him tenderly.

Knowing that he had been taken from his family was overwhelming, and Armin quickly began to sob. “I was so scared…I was so scared…” he whispered, shaking all over.

His helper made soft shushing sounds, and began slowly rocking Armin back and forth in his hug, soothing the boy.

“I know, buddy. That’s why I came for you. I’m sorry that those men wanted to kidnap you. But they can’t do anything else to you now.”

Armin felt a wave of exhaustion rush over him, and the man stood up, still holding Armin close to him. He walked towards the entrance of the cabin, and Armin’s vision was filled with what he thought was the sunlight.

The last thing he heard before falling asleep in his helper’s arms was the man gently whispering to him “Let’s go home, buddy.”

After what seemed to be a lifetime, Armin finally woke up in his mother’s arms, as she wept profusely. He saw that all around him, his Dad, Grandma and Grandpa were standing around them, everybody looking completely worn out.

Armin tried to mumble, and Ellie Arlert immediately snapped to attention.

“Armin!” she wailed, holding him closer and shuddering.

 Armin could see that she was disheveled, her long hair plastered to her face with sweat and tears. The rest of his family looked likewise, especially his father, who was leaning on the kitchen counter for support. It was evident that his son’s kidnapping had taken a heavy toll on him.

Judie and John drew closer to Armin, who was sitting up. His mother helped him rise to his feet as she tried to calm herself down. His family members were looking down at him with worry stretching their faces.

His Grandpa shakenly asked him “Armin, what happened to you?”

Judie turned to him and firmly shook her head, saying “John, this isn’t the time! Let him recover before he tells us.”

Armin told them all “No, it’s ok, I’ll tell you what happened.”

The four adults tensed up as Armin related what transpired after being separated from them during the parade. He watched rage contort their faces as he described what his kidnappers had said about the possibility of him escaping.

When he arrived to the topic of his rescuer, Armin perked up and turned to his Mom with a wide grin.

“You don’t need to be upset, Mom! Dad found me in the woods and brought me back home!”

Ellie squealed in relief and turned to her husband with excitement.

“Oh Will, I knew it was you! You didn’t have to be so modest about it!”

His father looked completely bewildered, and tried to speak up when his parents followed suite.

“I’m proud of you, son,” John Arlert told Will, and Judie simply looked at Will with a most loving expression.

Armin beamed up at him and said softly “Thank you for rescuing me, Dad. I was so scared, but you found me and took care of the bad guys. You’re my hero!”

Will waved his huge arms around in a panic, and pleadingly said to everybody gathered “H-hey, wait!”

They all looked at him in confusion. Will had a known reputation in his family and job as being a very humble man who never got arrogant when being thanked for good work. But even still, nobody in the room could understand why he was getting so flustered.

He walked towards Armin and knelt down, placing his hand on Armin’s shoulder and looking him square in the eye. Armin slowly began to realize he may have been mistaken over his rescuer’s identity after all.

“Buddy…” his father began to say, “I’m not the one who found you. I was called by my station because they found you asleep and unharmed on their doorstep. Nobody knows who delivered you to the police station. I only picked you up there and brought you home. I had no idea that you were taken to a forest.”

Armin gawked up at him as the rest of his family balked at the revelation. His grandparents shot each other confused looks as his mother began to stutter.

“W…what? But Will, then who found our son?”

“I don’t have a clue, Ellie. But it wasn’t me. I was driving around the city looking for him; I never went out towards the countryside, where the wooded areas are.”

Aching to get an answer, Armin told his father “But Dad, it **was** you! You showed up and used your gun on the bad guys, and you were dressed up in your police uniform too! Not to mention, it looked like you were glowing…”

Out of the corner of his eye, Armin saw his Grandma freeze in place.

His father paused, registering Armin’s description and slowly asked his son “What do you mean I was glowing, buddy?”

“When you showed up outside the cabin, sunlight started pouring in, and when you took off my bindings, I couldn’t see your face clearly because the sunlight was washing over you!”

His Grandma was watching him intently as everybody tried to process what Armin was saying.

“Armin, sweetie, you may have been imagining things because of the horrible stress you were under,” his mother told him carefully. “But the important thing is, you’re safe. If we ever find the man who saved you, we’ll definitely be thanking him.”

Will groaned and muttered “Buddy, I’m so sorry. I’ve failed you as your father…”

Armin threw his arms around his father and begged him “Don’t say that Dad! This isn’t your fault, none of this is! I’m not mad at you, I promise! I’m just shaken that this happened, that’s all.”

His father hugged him back, and carried him away, laying him tenderly on the couch and placing a blanket over him. The two of them looked at each other for a while, and when Armin looked at his father’s face closely, he recognized with shock dried tears on his father’s cheeks.

_“He really did blame himself for what happened to me. Oh, Dad…”_

“Dad, please don’t be so hard on yourself!” Armin whispered up to him, wanting desperately for his father to not hate himself. “No matter what happened, you **did** find me, and that’s what’s important.”

Will sighed and whispered back “I know that, son. I just feel…so worthless…I let you disappear right under my nose, just because it was crowded along the street. And somebody from another division out there found you in those woods, instead of me. I feel like a failure, Armin…”

Armin smiled gently up at him, and told him “You’re not a failure, Dad. You’re my hero. And you’ll **always** be my hero.”

At last, his father smiled, and said softly “Thank you, buddy. I love you. Now get some sleep, ok?”

“I love you too, Dad. I will.”

It was evening when Armin woke up again, and the only person in the room with him was his Grandma, wrapped up in numerous midnight blue prayer shawls and clutching her rosary in intense prayer. She was the religious matriarch of the Arlerts, always desperate for Armin to understand how importance faith seemed to be. When she saw that Armin was awake, she hurried over to him and sat down next to him.

“How do you feel, sweetie?” she asked, worry still burdening her.

“Much better.”

“Good. Sweetie, I have a question for you. Can you describe to me who this man was that you were talking about earlier?”

“Sure, Grandma. I really did think that he was Dad. From what I could tell, he looked just like him: super tall and strong, short blonde hair, a police uniform. The weird thing is, I really think he was glowing. I thought at first that it was just the sunlight, but I couldn’t see him clearly because he was giving off light. And he showed up the instant I prayed to God to save me.”

He watched his grandma gawk in awe. Neither of them spoke as she processed the description.

Armin hesitantly asked her “Grandma, do you know who saved me?”

She breathed deeply and told her “I have a very good idea who did, sweetie, but I’m not entirely certain. But I do know that God definitely did save you today.”

The rosary in her hands jingled as she drew it back up, closing her eyes and returning to her previous state of prayer. Armin bent forward, trying to understand the Latin prayer that she was whispering.

_“Sáncte Míchael Archángele, defénde nos in proélio, cóntra nequítiam et insídias diáboli ésto præsídium. Ímperet ílli Déus, súpplices deprecámur: tuque, prínceps milítiæ cæléstis, Sátanam aliósque spíritus malígnos, qui ad perditiónem animárum pervagántur in múndo, divína virtúte, in inférnum detrúde. Ámen.”_

* * *

 

Annie sat in silence as she considered the possibilities in Armin’s memory. Armin watched her as he himself wondered if an angel had been the one to save him back then.

“Honestly, Armin, there’s no way that your Dad was the one who rescued you” she told him, biting her lip. “That wouldn’t make sense. I’m not really a believer in this stuff, but it does sound like you had a guardian angel come to your aid.”

“That’s probably what Grandma thought that night, too,” he mused. “I think she was under the impression that Michael the Archangel was the one who saved me.”

“For all I know, it could be.”

They sat in silence together, contemplating the mysteries of Armin’s memories. All around them, the cafeteria had grown silent, as the afternoon had grown late and lunch was finishing up. Classes for the two friends were finished for the day, and they were both eager to go back to their dorms and relax.

Annie glanced at her phone and told him “Hey, I gotta get going. Anything else you need to tell me?”

Armin paused to think and then asked her “Are you free Friday night? Would you be up for going to that café downtown? Maybe try a good pastry there?”

He earned a smug smile from his best friend. “Why, Armin Arlert, are you asking me out on a coffee date?”

“A **platonic** coffee date,” he corrected her with a wink.

Annie laughed and said “Deal. I could use a night out after all the bullshit midterms I’ve had to go through. I’ll see you later, ok?”

“Ok Annie. See ya.”

They walked in opposite directions towards their dorms, Armin watching her turn around the corner of the cafeteria over his shoulder. After a moment, he continued to walk, aching for Friday to come so that he could spend a good evening out.

On his way back to his dorm, he walked past a tall, well-built blonde with a golden cross necklace resting on his muscular chest. Armin felt his cheeks turn a light scarlet as he saw how buff the guy was. The hunk saw Armin looking at him, and gave him a small smile. Armin made himself look away, trying to hide his rapidly darkening cheeks. He heard the guy walk away, and he let himself breathe.

_“He’s so hot! And…he looks like the guy from that dream I had!”_

Annie’s warning flashed through his head, and Armin grimaced, knowing that she was right. But even with her advice in his head, he couldn’t stop himself from being giddy.

_“What if he’s the one? I mean, you never know…”_

Armin walked on to his dorm, stuck between his giddiness and the ominous sensation that he was making a terrible mistake.


	5. Chapter 5

Evening had fallen on the campus, the sky draped in a sad lavender that was rapidly fading into utter darkness. Armin looked out of his room window, his thoughts far away from Sansburg Hall, and back at home.

 _“Now that I think about it…”_ he mused, going through his childhood, _“that whole kidnapping thing, and that mysterious guy…that wasn’t the only time I’ve been saved by an unexplainable stranger…”_

* * *

 In the indoor farmers’ market near their home, Ellie and Armin walked among the various stalls carefully, taking head of the swarming clumps of people bustling everywhere they looked. Ellie kept glancing at her son, still painfully aware of the terrible incident on that Memorial Day not too long ago.

“Stay close to me, ok?” she begged him, glancing around her. “It’s way too easy to get lost here.”

“I will, Mom,” he promised her, not wanting to be separated from his family for a second time.

The two of them scanned the fruit stalls for exotic species, searching for a rare treat to snack on that afternoon. Grandma Judie had sent them to the market in hopes that they would find her some persimmons, saying that the odd fruits made wonderful cookies.

Without any warning, a massive wave of people suddenly burst through the doors at the far end of the building, the infamous 12:00 rush that Judie had warned them about. Before Ellie could say anything, Armin was swept up in the tide, shoved far away from his mother as the desperate people surged towards the high-end stands at the opposite side of the market.

Armin yelped and reached out towards his mother, who was screaming his name and trying to squirm through the throng. She disappeared out of sight as the crowd continued to move, deaf to Armin’s terror. Long, agonizing minutes passed before the people finally stopped moving. Armin looked around him, and realized that he had no idea where he was.

 _“No! Not again!”_ he thought, desperately looking for a map that could guide him back. _“This can’t be happening to me again!”_

None of the newcomers seemed to be caring that a tiny child was lost, just as nobody had bothered to truly help him during the Memorial Day chaos.

Armin gritted his teeth and made himself breathe deeply, in a bid to stop himself from collapsing due to anxiety. When he knew that he was calmer, he shut his eyes tight and said another deep prayer, longing for the aid he had received in his moment of utmost need.

 _“Please, God,”_ he begged, wanting to return to his mother’s side with all his might. _“Guide me back!”_

Moments passed, and Armin began to wonder if his prayer had been heard. But then, the uncanny sensation that he was being watched sent shivers up and down his spine, and he slowly turned around, scanning the area for the source of the chill.

Far down near the wall, where weary customers were pausing to gather their bearings, a woman draped in what looked like a deep blue hooded cloak was looking at him intently. Armin had to squint at her, thinking in his desperation that Grandma Judie, wrapped up in her favorite prayer shawls, had somehow come to help him.

On further inspection, it couldn’t have been her, for this woman, even from the distance, was clearly far younger than his grandma. Armin could see the ceiling lights glinting off her dark brown hair, which fell in ringlets around her soft face, framing it perfectly. For some reason, looking at her filled Armin with calm, his fear disappearing without a trace.

 _“Does she…know me?”_ he wondered, bewildered as to who she could be.

The woman began walking towards him at a rapid pace, her blue cloak whipping around her heels. Armin watched as she extended a slightly tanned hand out towards him, and he realized what was coming. He gratefully reached back out towards her, and when their hands made contact, she held his gently but firmly, and Armin felt silently assured that he was safe.

No words were spoken between the two of them, but Armin knew through intuition what her purpose was. They turned to face the massive crowd before them, and the woman gave him a warm smile, filling Armin to the brim with peace. She lightly squeezed his hand, and began a rapid approach towards the throng, Armin eagerly following her.

Without any action on her part, the people blocking their path stepped out of her way, allowing the woman to lead Armin through the tide towards the front entrance of the building. As they traveled, Armin looked up at her in awe, confused as to how she was managing to so easily weave her way through the masses.

After what seemed to be only a matter of moments, they arrived a few feet away from the row of fruit stands that Armin and his mother had been investigating before he had been swept away. Armin’s heart leapt with joy when he saw his mother near the exotic fruit stand, looking around her in panic for her child.

Armin turned to the woman, who was beaming down at him patiently. He was quivering with excitement at being returned to his mother so quickly, and gratitude for the help that had been given to him.

“Thank you so much!” he told her, a giddy grin on his small face.

She nodded at him, and lovingly whispered “Go to her, my child,” as she let go of his hand.

He gave her a quick wave, and darted towards his mother, shouting “I’m here, Mom!”

Ellie whirled around, and breathed a huge sigh of relief as he came towards her. She swept him up in her harms, and refused to let go for several seconds.

“Let’s get out of here, Armin,” she said, still agitated by the crowd’s selfishness. “This place isn’t worth it. Your grandma will understand.”

They left the farmers’ market hand in hand, and Armin shot one last glance over his shoulder to see if his helper was still there. She had seemingly moved back into the crowds, nowhere in sight.

_“I hope I can see her again.”_

* * *

 Armin bit his lip, thinking long and hard over the perplexity of the incident.

 _”Was that…’her’?”_ he wondered, remembering the description of certain saints that Grandma Judie had taught him so eagerly.

He shrugged, and dressed himself for the night, making sure that the October wind wouldn’t bother him. As he tugged his boots on, he paused, recalling another strange, recurring encounter he had had in his room at night, where shadowy figures would appear slowly approaching his bed, only to be attacked by an equally dark woman wielding a blade that looked like condensed moonlight. Armin knew that the woman was certainly his ally, but couldn’t help feeling uneasy over the mystery of her identity.

_“This isn’t the time to be going through my childhood memories, I need to go meet with Annie.”_

After making sure that he was fully prepared for the night out, Armin left the building, heading towards Annie’s dorm complex so that they could head downtown together.

* * *

 “Are you sure you’ll be ok drinking that much coffee at night?” Armin asked, glancing warily at the massive cup of joe that Annie had purchased. All he had bought was a cup of peppermint tea, because his sensitivity to caffeine would have screwed him over had he chosen anything else.

“Don’t worry, Armin, I could drink a whole pot and feel nothing. I’ve never been much affected by coffee, honestly. Doesn’t give me a buzz like it does for others.”

“Well, if you say so.”

The two friends had ventured to a well-known café hidden away in a corner of their college town, where students would go to enjoy soft music and specialty coffee drinks. Annie often went by herself to try their newest concoctions. On her night out with Armin, she had chosen to try a “Cinnamon Hazelnut Wonder” blend, which the café touted as the perfect autumn cup. She seemed to like it, as Armin watched her eagerly sip at it as they sat outside on the patio.

The outside of the café was lined with black metal tables meant for small parties of two and three, for sitting and enjoying the spending view. The college town’s main river flowed through a canal next to the café, softly rushing through the night unheeded and constant. Moonlight laid a silver streak on the waters, creating a perfect scenic backdrop.

Armin and Annie sat across from each other at one of the tables, sipping at their drinks and shivering against the breeze brushing against their skin. They chose to simply sit and enjoy the moment, rather than make idle chat about their week. Annie finished her cup of coffee rather quickly, while Armin was still absentmindedly taking it bit by bit.

Annie licked her lips, muttering “I gotta say, that was a damn good cup of coffee. Oh, hey, I meant to ask you earlier, have you had any luck with finding a guy here?”

Armin looked up from his tea startled, and said “Well, not really. But the other day, I walked past this **super** hot blonde guy. And Annie, I mean it, you should’ve seen him, he looked like a model! Not to mention, he could be the guy from that dream I told you about!”

Instead of the approval he had hoped for, Annie groaned instead and said to him “Armin, please, you have got to give up on that dream! More often than not, a dream is just that, a dream. I get that it felt real to you, but you’re blowing this way out of proportion. And you should never judge a guy just by his looks.”

“But, Annie-“

“No ‘buts’!” she snapped, and Armin flinched at her tone. “Please, Armin, listen to me! Don’t do what I did in high school and go thinking that just because a guy has big muscles, he also has a big heart. This is reality, not a fairy tale, and as far as I’m concerned, those princes don’t exist.”

The trees around them rustled as the wind blew against them, making scores of leaves dance to the ground. Armin looked down at his tea sheepishly, knowing that his best friend was right.

“I know that I need to be careful, Annie. I do. It’s just…lately, it’s gotten so difficult for me. Up ‘til now, I’ve been able to deal with not having any intimacy in my life. I mean, I’ve got you, Eren and Mikasa with me, I shouldn’t be whining about this. But…”

Annie watched him closely, listening with a heavy heart.

“…Annie, I really do think that I’m lonely. It took me a while to realize what this feeling was. At first, I thought that those girls were really getting to me. But after seeing that guy, I must’ve remembered the hard way that I have nobody in my life that I can cling close to.”

He looked up to see Annie frowning bitterly at her empty cup. She was silent for a good minute before finally speaking up.

“I get it, Armin. Really, I do. That was me back in high school. I was actually kinda boy crazy. I fell head-over-heels for this tall, dark and handsome jock that all the girls were raving over. But when I got to know him, he turned out to be…he ended up being a total bastard, let me leave it at that.”

The shift in tone left Armin speechless for several moments, as he desperately thought of what to tell her. Before he could speak, she looked back up at him and went on.

“Sometimes I get lonely too, Armin. And you need to understand that there’s nothing wrong with being lonely. Wanting to be with the right person is only human. But both of us need to be careful where we put our priorities, because if we make our priority finding our soulmate, and end up choosing somebody who turns out to be a monster, we’ll come crashing down hard.”

He sighed and mumbled “You’re right. Thanks, Annie.”

They shivered in unison as another strong breeze rustled over the area. Annie grumbled and went to toss her cup into the trash, coming back gripping her arms as chills seized control.

“I threw on all these layers to be safe, and this is the reward I get. Thanks a bunch, body.”

Armin was shivering heavily too, and the hot tea was barely keeping the cold at bay.

“I miss those warm summer evenings, when you could lay out in the dark, under the starlit skies with nothing but a t-shirt and shorts…” he said, his eyes fading out of focus as his mind went back to warmer times.

“Your family must’ve loved summer nights, right?” Annie asked him as she tried to move so that the wind wouldn’t bother her.

“Yeah, especially my Mom. She craved them, honestly. She loved to stargaze even more…”

* * *

 The Arlerts finally arrived at their cabin, exhausted from traveling 3 hours straight from the city. Armin had passed out in the back seat, the car ride taking a heavy toll on him. John and Judie sat in the front seats, Judie driving her loved ones to their destination, being the one with the strongest directional skills in the family. Will and Ellie were in the middle of the van, looking around them with awe at the verdant foliage on all sides.

Ellie looked back at Armin, a small smile growing on her face, and gently shook him awake.

“Wake up, sweetie. We’re finally here.”

Armin came to mumbling, and Will helped him get out of the car, lifting him into his arms like he was weightless. He carried his son over to their cabin as John went forward with the keys, ready to unlock it and relax.

John and Judie had long ago purchased a decent two-story cabin far away from the bustle of the city, so that they could have a relaxing place to flee to when life got too hectic. Their investment had naturally payed off immensely as the years went on, and they gladly extended their privilege to Will and Ellie, who were gawking at the faded beauty of the painted wood and the spectacular view it gave of the neighboring lake.

“How did you two find this place?” Will asked, still holding Armin and unable to take his eyes off of the shimmering mass of water just over the hill.

Judie gave her son a smug look and told him “Your father and I were quite adventurous years ago, Will, and we always wanted to have a good nature spot to call our own. We got lucky, too. It seems that everybody else in this state caught on to our secret; all of the other cabins here got purchased soon after the official tourist sites got set up close by.”

John was in the kitchen, glancing over the food items left behind from their last expenditure.

“Looks like we’ll have to go shopping soon, Judie,” he called as he rummaged through expired boxes of cereal. “We won’t be able to get through the weekend on what we have left.”

“That’s fine, the store isn’t that far away.”

Ellie walked upstairs, looking at the old twin beds and the massive queen resting regally on the far side. She giggled excitedly, aching to discover first hand just how comfortable the queen bed truly was.

On the first floor, Armin was slowly taking in his surroundings, gawking at the sheer beauty of it all. Will noticed that he was finally awake, and gently set him down on his feet.

“You really are a heavy sleeper, son,” Will chuckled, tussling Armin’s hair and sitting down next to him on the old but plush couch.

Armin yawned and told him “I got it from you, Dad.”

“Well, you’re not wrong.”

They all looked up to see Ellie waving down at them with a goofy grin. Will and Armin shot each other worried glances, knowing that it would be far too easy for somebody to tumble down from the low railing.

“Hey you all, don’t forget that we need to sit outside and enjoy the stars tonight!” she shouted, rummaging in her pockets for her camera. “The news said that we might even see the meteor shower, too!”

It had been Armin’s mother that had pushed for this weekend trip to happen, due in part to the rumor on the local news that at midnight that night, if seen from the right place out in the countryside, a beautiful meteor shower could potentially be seen dashing across the stars. If the Arlerts hadn’t already owned their cabin, the opportunity wouldn’t have existed for them.

The family spent the last hours before nightfall unpacking their belongings and getting settled in. Ellie managed to claim the wondrous queen bed upstairs, after pleading to John and Judie, who finally relented and chose a slightly less massive bed on the first floor. Armin’s parents let him choose either of the twin beds upstairs to sleep in, where he had a blast rolling around on them, and taking in their softness.

Armin was in love with the scenery, with a massive longing to explore the old forest to its deepest depths. He would have to wait until the next day though, due to his parents’ worry over him getting lost in the dark.

When the evening came, they all sat outside on the hill overlooking the lake, which had become a still mirror reflecting the hundreds of stars up above. The soft sound of cicadas and various nocturnal creatures blended into a soothing ambience that could’ve easily put the family to sleep. Ellie was practically jumping up and down with joy at the prospect of seeing the promised meteor shower.

The hours dragged on, and despite their patience, the only spectacle they saw was the constant twinkling dots in the sky. Armin could sense that the rest of his family was growing exceedingly tired of waiting, while his mother looked despondent at the realization that her planning was apparently pointless.

“I’m sorry everybody,” they heard her mutter. “I really thought that this would be happening…”

Julie patted her on the back and told her “Chin up, dear. The news always gets things wrong, anyway. We might have a better chance tomorrow night, you know.”

John nodded and said “Not to mention, it’s still beautiful out here. It was good of you to make us travel here, Ellie, we all needed a break from life.”

He got up and stretched, telling them “I’m off to bed, it’s been a long day, and it’ll be even longer tomorrow. Goodnight everybody.”

Armin’s grandparents shuffled inside, leaving him with his parents, who were sitting close to each other as Will tried to comfort Ellie.

“Hey, there’s always going to be other occasions for this sort of stuff, Ellie. Don’t be mad at yourself, this isn’t your fault.”

She groaned and muttered “I know, Will. But I do wish that this had worked out the way I had hoped.”

Will wrapped her up in his famous bear hug, and Ellie gratefully leaned into his embrace, her small form nearly disappearing inside. Armin watched them cuddle with a smile, his parents’ gentle romance always touching his heart.

They stayed like that for a good minute, before letting go and beaming at each other. Will gently patted her on the back and stood up, helping his wife rise before turning to Armin.

“Hey buddy, it’s time to go to bed, we have a big day ahead of us tomorrow.”

Armin bit his lip and asked him “Can I stay out here with Mom? I love being out here under the starlight, it’s so soothing.”

“If she’s fine with that, then so am I.”

Ellie grinned at her son, and told him warmly “Of course you can, sweetheart. Let’s sit on the swing over there and enjoy the view.”

Will walked back inside, and the two of them sat down together on the old wooden swing, a rickety contraption that creaked every time the seat moved. Ellie casually pushed her feet off the ground, making the swing move, and lulling them both into a deep state of relaxation.

Armin looked at her and murmured “Mom, I’m kinda nervous about starting middle school…”

“Why’s that, honey?”

“I don’t know anything about that building, and…well…”

She grimaced and muttered “You don’t want to have to run into another Zach, right?”

“…yeah…”

Ellie firmly gripped his shoulder and said to him “Please, Armin, don’t let yourself go in there being paranoid about more bullies, or you’ll drive yourself crazy. Don’t forget that even if that crap happens again, your father and I will be here to take care of it.”

“I know. I just wish it wouldn’t happen to begin with.”

She sighed, saying “So do I, sweetie. So do I. If their parents cared more, then none of this would happen.”

They sat in silence, watching the dark trees slowly bend in the soft wind that was blowing over the area. Armin thought he could see an owl looking down on them from one of the branches up above. He clenched his hands, and his mother noticed, choosing to wait to see if he would speak first.

Armin turned to Ellie and shakily told her “Mom, I need to tell you something. This has been bothering me for months now.”

“What is it, dear?”

Armin gulped and told her “Eren talks to me all the time about his girl crushes, and I’ve tried to feel the same way. But…it never happens. It doesn’t matter how cute a girl is, how sweet, how funny…Mom, I feel nothing. I don’t get excited and giddy about girls like he does. And I feel…wrong.”

Recognition crossed his mother’s face the instant he finished talking, and Ellie scooted closer to him, wrapping a slender arm around him and pulling him close. Armin looked at her nervously, not knowing what she was going to say.

“There’s nothing wrong with that, Armin,” she said softly. “All that means is that you’re a bit different from other boys. But you aren’t ‘wrong’ for that, you understand? And don’t ever let anybody make you think otherwise.”

Armin blinked, and let himself smile. “Thank you, Mom.”

“Of course, dear. To be honest, I’ve wondered about this for a while. Mikasa’s becoming quite the beauty, but between you and Eren, he’s the only one who ever acts goofy around her.”

He laughed and told her “Oh geez Mom, you should see him. One time, Mikasa flipped her hair over her shoulder, and his face turned beet-red!”

They both laughed heartily. All of a sudden, a streak of white light darted across the sky, and Ellie nearly jumped out of her seat.

“Armin!” she said, her eyes widening. “This is it! This is the meteor shower I told you about! I didn’t think we’d be seeing it tonight…”

More meteors zoomed across the stars, and Ellie looked like a child at Christmastime. Armin gawked at the spectacle above, aching for the moment to never end.

* * *

 Armin finished recounting his story, and Annie looked impressed.

“You were closest with your mother, weren’t you?” she inquired.

“Is it really that obvious? I guess I’m still a momma’s boy after all these years.”

They turned around, and were shocked to see that the café had closed while they were talking. Annie glanced at her phone and rolled her eyes, showing Armin how late it had become.

“All we did was sip some drinks and chat, and that took us _this_ far into the night. How the hell does that happen?”

“Well, time flies by when you’re having fun.”

“Apparently.”

Armin began to stand up from his chair, and then froze, a look of guilt on his face. Annie was confused, not knowing what could be bothering him all of a sudden.

“Annie…I owe you an apology,” he began, avoiding her gaze. “I have an ulterior motive for inviting you out tonight. Um, I needed somebody with me…”

“Armin?” she asked, getting worried. “What’s wrong?”

He gripped the side of the table, and began to shake nervously.

“I’m sorry I haven’t told you up ‘til now. Um…” he had to take a deep breath as tears began to well up. “Um…you see, several years ago, on this day…”

Realization made Annie’s eyes widen in horror as he continued.

“…this is the day that my parents died in their car accident…”

Her mouth fell open wide as Armin broke down in front of her. Annie shoved the table out of the way and hugged Armin close as he sobbed, his whole body quaking with his grief.

“I was at my grandparents’ house when it happened!” he wailed. “We wondered why they hadn’t updated us on their location. And then, the news came on, and... **we saw the wreckage! Some drunk driver had barreled through the intersection and smashed into them without any warning!** ”

Annie did her best to not cry with him, as she watched her best friend heave from the intensity of his sobbing.

“You know what makes it even worse?” he asked her, as his tears continued to flow. “Only 2 years later, Grandma Judie died from cancer. None of us saw it coming…”

“Armin, I’m so sorry,” Annie whispered, rubbing his back slowly.

He sobbed for several more minutes before managing to recover. Annie watched him sniffle and wipe away his tears.

He looked at her and whispered “Annie, I miss them so much. Mom, Dad, Grandma…I miss them all so much. This crap in Sansburg would be so much easier if I had them here to help me. I don’t think I’ve fully recovered from their loss.”

Then he managed a weak smile, telling her “I’m just glad that you still have your Mom and Dad, Annie.”

To his surprise, she grimaced and looked away from him, guilt washing over her face too.

“Oh, Armin...I have a confession for you, too. There’s a reason you’ve never heard me mention my Mom.”

Annie breathed shakily and looked him straight in the eye, sadly whispering “Armin, my Mom died right after giving birth to me.”

He gasped and barely managed to say “W-what?”

She went on, explaining to him “She was already weak from carrying me to begin with. Having to deliver me was what finally broke her. Her last words to my Dad were my name, and a sincere apology for leaving him so soon.”

Armin had to breathe hard in order to stop himself from crying again. He held Annie back, and they stayed in the embrace for several moments, their grief too intense for them to speak.

When they pulled apart, Annie gently told him “You can’t let their deaths ruin you, Armin. You and I both know that when it’s all said and done, we **will** see them again.”

He sniffled and said “I know. But waiting for that to happen is just as heartbreaking as losing them.”

“I know. We just have to hang in there until then. Come on, let’s head home, it’s getting super late.”

They managed to make it back to Sansburg Hall, where the two of them stood side by side, smiling at each other and enjoying each other’s presence, grateful that they didn’t have to suffer their grief alone.

“See ya later, Armin,” she said, waving at him as she walked away into the night.

“See ya, Annie.”

Armin took the elevator up to his floor without interruption from Kayla or any of the other girls. He laid himself out on the bed, and eventually passed out from exhaustion, his sadness finally abated.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning: Verbal Abuse/Severe Homophobia

On her day off, Helen chose to relax in her house, hoping to avoid any obligations for the time being. The small, 4-room home was serene and quiet, except for the tea kettle hissing on the stovetop. Rain was falling softly outside, gently hitting the glass and dousing her backyard with icy November water. Soon enough, everything around her home would be covered in thick sheets of white, and Helen was already making mental plans to sit around her kitchen and enjoy the view.

She went over to the pot to turn it off, and took a glance at the picture of her daughter resting on the living room desk. Helen let herself breathe deeply, while she felt another rush of grief welling up inside.

_“I wish you were still here, sweetheart.”_

It had been 2 years since that horrible summer night when the policewoman had come to her doorstep, holding her daughter’s battered body and bearing the news of her murder. Nothing could’ve prepared Helen for the revelation that somebody had deliberately hunted her child down during what was meant to be a peaceful stroll in the old park, and taken her life like it was nothing.

Helen sighed and made herself pour her tea, while the rain outside continued to pat against her windows. She had spent the last week checking up on Annie’s friend Armin Arlert, who Helen suspected wasn’t telling her all of the gritty details.

The earthy scent of the tea filled up the house, and Helen bit her lip, remembering the events leading up to her daughter’s passing.

_“That boy…he isn’t telling me, nor Annie everything that’s happening to him. Just like **she** didn’t open up to me until everything in that damned high school was blowing up…”_

Her daydream was shattered by the sudden ringing of her house phone. Helen carefully set her mug down on the counter and glanced at the caller I.D. She recognized, with a sneer of contempt, the name of her distant husband, who could only be calling after finally receiving the legal news.

Helen had hardly brought the phone to her ear before Frank started shrieking at her.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing, Helen?!”

She scoffed and leaned casually on the kitchen counter, settling in for what she knew would be a long and irritating conversation.

“Why bother asking for the answer you already know, Frank? I’m divorcing you, and I fully expect you to be back in town on the date the court has selected. It would be in your best interest to get yourself a plane ticket asap.”

“You can’t divorce me! I’ll never allow it!”

“Oho? What exactly are you going to do about it? Throw bottles of whiskey at my head like the night you deserted me and our daughter?”

On the line, she heard Frank growl deep in his throat. Helen knew that no matter how much time would pass, neither of them would forget the violent screaming match the couple had fought before Frank had left the two girls behind, taking his car and personal belongings with him in a mad rush after being humiliated by his enraged wife.

“Shut your trap, you damn whore!” he snarled at her, and Helen barely managed to suppress her sniggering. “I want nothing to do with that dyke!”

“’That dyke’? You mean your child whose funeral you deliberately refused to attend? Oh, that’s right, I forgot, you betrayed her after she came out to us all those years ago. How silly of me to forget.”

“Fuck you and your attitude! I never asked for a lesbian daughter!”

Helen hissed into the phone “And I never asked for a drunk bastard like you for a husband, did I?”

“What the hell did you just call me?”

She cackled softly and told him “You heard me, Frank. Your disgusting alcoholism brought so much unnecessary pain on this family, and I’ll never miss it…or you, for that matter. And from what I’ve heard recently, you’ve gotten even worse. Chugging down every single bottle of booze in reach, and flushing down your life’s worth with it.”

Helen continued to laugh at him while her deranged husband made animalistic noises on the opposite end. He was playing right into her hands, just like his last night in the house, when his foolish attempts to insult their daughter resulted in the release of her long-stoppered fury.

“I said shut it! You’re a loser, Helen, and that’s all you’ll ever be!”

“ **I’m** the loser? _Au contraire_ , my dear Frank, you must be drunk off your feet if you believe that I’m the loser here. I’m the chairwoman of this city’s PFLAG chapter, but **you**? You’re a wretched drunkard without a job or a girl to look after you, and why should that be a surprise? No girl with half a brain would be stupid enough to spend her days with the monster who returned his own flesh and blood’s plea for love with such intense hatred.”

Frank roared in anger and shouted “Watch it, woman, or I’ll-“

“Stuff it and save it for the courtroom. I have better things to do today than waste my time arguing with a scumbag like you. This is your one warning, Frank. Be here on that date, or I guarantee that you’ll be in deep legal trouble. Now do us both a favor and fuck off.”

With that, Helen ended the call, a smirk of satisfaction crossing her features as she sipped away at her tea.

* * *

 In the laundry room on the 4th floor of Sansburg Hall, Armin threw his freshly clean clothes back into his basket, hoping to get them folded quickly so he could spend the rest of his evening relaxing. The blonde hunk was still on his mind, and Armin was a hapless romantic over the thought of those rippling arms holding him close.

He froze when he heard a surge of chatter out near the lounge in the middle of the floor. Armin groaned when he recognized the high, whiny tone of Clair, Kayla’s best friend and one of Armin’s main hecklers. Whatever she was talking about, she was with a few other people, all of them talking loud enough to drown out Armin’s own thoughts.

“Please, for goodness’ sake, leave me alone already…” he hissed, gritting his teeth in frustration as he made himself head back towards his room.

When he turned the corner, the lounge came into sight, and sure enough, Clair was sitting around one of the tables with a few of her friends, most likely gossiping about some poor unfortunate soul. Armin rolled his eyes and walked briskly towards his room, hoping that they wouldn’t notice him.

It took her only a few seconds to hear him coming, and when she saw him, another sneer contorted her pretty face. Armin stared straight ahead, until he saw one of her friends turn to look at him. His curiosity got the better of him, and he turned to identify the person.

To his shock, he found himself staring at the blonde hunk from a few weeks earlier, who was eyeing him with obvious interest. Armin felt himself blushing again, and could see out of the corner of his eye that Clair was looking back and forth between the two guys with aggravated confusion. Nobody in the room moved from their spots until Armin practically flew from the lounge and into his room, gushing and a bit shaken.

Down near the lounge, he heard Clair ask “Shane, why the hell were you looking at him like that?”

_“His name’s Shane? Even his name is sexy!”_

Armin wiggled around, giggling and unable to handle his growing infatuation.

* * *

 Finals week drew ever closer, bringing with it a heap of anxiety for Armin and his friends. Annie’s Psychology classes were loading her down with papers and ominous exams that promised to overwhelm her if she didn’t properly prepare.

“For fucks’ sake, can I go home already?” she snarled under her breath as she and Armin sat together in the library, studying and wishing for the comfort of their hometowns.

The usually vacant library had filled up to the brim with students flocking there in a mad bid to hunker down and do their best to plunge equations and information into their minds. Armin and Annie had initial trouble finding anywhere to sit because the library was so crowded. The atmosphere was choked with the anxiety of dozens of students.

“Wait, Annie, what’s this kanji supposed to mean?” Armin asked, eyeing an intricate character that was on the list of a hundred Japanese characters supposedly on their final.

Annie glanced at the kanji and groaned, telling him “Shit, not that one! I don’t know, I think it’s either ‘to make’ or ‘to kill’…”

“Annie, those are two totally different meanings.”

“Seriously, that’s all I can think of. This damned Child Psychology exam is killing me, and I haven’t even taken it yet!”

After an hour of studying, the two of them gave up, and headed back to their dorms, grumbling and wishing that they could drink away their problems.

Later that week, Mikasa proposed one last dinner out between her three childhood friends, and, after pleading from Armin, Annie as well. Mikasa was still not warming up to her roommate, probably because she knew how close Armin was with the cold blonde girl. Even at the restaurant on the group’s night out, she was giving Annie the evil eye, while the other girl stared back with unhidden amusement.

“Uh, so how’s studying going, guys?” Armin asked his friends, desperate to get rid of the tension. Eren was nervously sweating in his seat, the negativity between the two girls excruciatingly palpable even to him.

“So far, I’m alive,” Mikasa said, finally breaking the staring contest with an irritated huff.

Eren let out a not-so-quiet relieved sigh and told Armin “Uh, German History is much harder than I thought.”

Annie turned to him and slyly asked “Oh come now, surely you didn’t think it was all wars, did you?”

He blushed crimson and stammered “N-no! But I thought that was most of it!”

Mikasa rolled her eyes and ate her food as Annie, who had told Armin that she knew German heritage because of her Dad, grilled Eren on actual German history. Armin bit back his laughter as he watched Annie with her smug smile work Eren into a flustered frenzy. The chatter went on for quite a while before Eren gave up, turning away from Annie and fidgeting nonstop. When she saw that the debate was finished, Mikasa turned to Armin and changed the topic.

“Any luck finding a guy, Armin? I know you’ve been pining for somebody for a while now.”

Annie grimaced, and Eren perked up, as Armin blushed and began to speak.

“Well, there’s this **really** hot blonde guy I’ve seen around campus recently. Oh my gosh, Mikasa, you should see him! He’s super tall, blonde, with these really great blue eyes…and his muscles!” Armin took a moment to giggle as he gauged her reaction.

To his chagrin, Mikasa had the same look of agitation as Annie, and even Eren was looking at him worriedly.

“Armin, be careful,” Mikasa pleaded. “Don’t let yourself assume he’s a nice guy just because you imagine he is.”

Her words were too similar to Annie’s warning a few weeks previous, and Armin turned to Eren, hoping that he would back him up. But even his childhood friend was shaking his head at Armin.

“I don’t know why, but Armin, I’ve got a **really** bad feeling. Is there a good reason why you like him?” Eren asked.

“Well, when I first saw him, he saw me checking him out, and smiled at me. And then, the other day, I saw him on my dorm floor, and he was totally into me!”

Mikasa held her hand up and asked sharply “Wait a minute, was he with one of those bitches in your dorm?”

“Uh…yeah…why?”

With that, Mikasa’s face darkened and she said to him “Then Armin, don’t even think about him. You know how it goes: birds of a feather flock together. I don’t know this guy, but I’m damn certain that if he knew how cruel these girls have been to you, he’d want nothing to do with them…unless he’s just as evil as they are. Don’t go anywhere near him! Just because he’s your ideal image of a hero doesn’t mean that he isn’t hiding a malicious heart.”

Armin groaned and leaned back in his chair, wishing that he hadn’t said anything about his crush.

“Guys, come on, this could be my chance at a real boyfriend! Don’t you want that for me?”

“Of course we want that for you, Armin, but we need you to make safe choices with who you go after!” Mikasa snapped back, her mama instincts kicking in.

Eren chimed in, saying “Dude, I know you’re thirsty for a guy, but I don’t want you to get hurt by some prick who doesn’t give a damn about you.”

All Annie did was nod along, giving Armin a look that clearly said _“They’re right, you know.”_

Mikasa said to him more gently “Look, it’s your life, not ours, Armin, and this is your choice to make. But please take us seriously, ok? You’re too kind to be with the wrong guy. You haven’t even talked to him, unless I misheard you, and that’s nowhere close to being romantic. If you do choose to pursue him, don’t forget what we’ve said about him. The last thing I want is for your first love to break your heart.”

Knowing that their warnings were meant well didn’t help Armin’s gloom over his friends’ unexpected disapproval of his crush. But he nodded at them, and halfheartedly muttered “I’ll keep that in mind.”

When the group finished dinner, they walked back towards campus, squeezing close in an attempt to share body warmth as the freezing air bit deep.

* * *

 A few days before finals were doomed to begin, Armin sat in his room, still thinking about how freaked out his friends were over his infatuation, and the hard fact that despite his denial, he really didn’t know anything else about Shane other than the possibility of his crush being mutual.

His thoughts shifted over to Kayla, Clair and Elise, their malice still confusing him. Armin was still certain that he had done nothing to earn their contempt. While he absentmindedly ruffled through his Japanese notes trying to focus on studying, his mind racked over possible reasons for their strange hatred. After minutes of thinking, Armin came up with no logical explanation.

_“Well, the only reason that I can possibly think of is that…uh, maybe they’re…hurting and taking it out on me?”_

Armin shrugged, knowing that even if that was the reason, it was still strange for somebody to project their hurt onto somebody else.  

_“Eh, would being nice do anything to change this, then? Maybe if I at least smile at them, that’ll do something to stop this…”_

His opportunity to test his theory out came when he left his room to grab dinner. Kayla was sitting by herself in the floor’s lounge, gritting her teeth as she poured over notes for one of her classes. Armin did his best to ignore his anxiety as they made eye contact. Once again, Kayla gave him her typical hate-filled sneer, and Armin made himself not turn away. With a deep breath, he gave her a warm smile, and watched her sneer turn into a look of sheer confusion.

After seeing that his hypothesis had been correct, Armin walked off the floor feeling immensely satisfied.

Over the last days before finals came forth to terrify them all, Armin went out of his way to beam at Kayla, who conveniently chose to study alone in the lounge for the remainder of the fall semester. Gradually, the girl began to give painfully awkward renditions of a smile back at Armin, who was overjoyed at the results he was seeing.

On his last day, with his luggage in tow and his grandpa waiting in the parking lot to take him home, Armin and Kayla ran into each other one last time before heading home for the holidays. Without saying a word to each other, they exchanged smiles for the last time, Kayla’s version still falling short of Armin’s bright grin.

As they drove back home, John Arlert was confused as to why Armin seemed so pleased with himself.

“Did finals go swell? You’re practically brimming with joy, grandson.”

Armin winked at his grandpa and told him “Well, grandpa, I definitely brightened somebody’s day, that’s for sure.”

* * *

 Sansburg Hall was now a ghost town, the residents of the dorm all on their way home, except for one.

Kayla sat in the lounge of the dorm’s 4th floor, her suitcase resting beside her, still confused over why the gay kid that she had been going out of her way to hate had suddenly changed attitudes towards her. For some reason, the guy had chosen to smile at her instead of doing everything he could to avoid her.

 _“What gives?”_ she pondered, as she waited for her Mom to text her announcing her arrival. _“I’ve done everything I can to make him feel miserable. So why the hell would he smile at me? Is he…a masochist?”_

_“No…though I’ll admit, he does have a nice smile…but why, though? Why isn’t he afraid of me anymore? And why did he suddenly decide to-“_

Her phone buzzed, and when she opened her phone, a text from her mother had arrived.

_“Here. Come down.”_

Kayla groaned, hoping that her mother would simply welcome her and take her home without her usual critique of Kayla’s semester and social life. Thanksgiving break had been horrible enough when her mother had found out that Kayla had a C in her Organic Chemistry class, and had screamed at her daughter until her throat was hoarse and Kayla had collapsed into a terrified, weeping mess.

When Kayla went out into the parking lot, which was gradually turning white from the gently falling snow, her mother was waiting by the curb, impatiently drumming on her steering wheel. Kayla steeled herself and waved at her mother, who merely popped open the trunk in response. After she had thrown her luggage in, Kayla closed the trunk and hesitantly climbed into the passenger seat, beaming and hoping for an easy ride home.

“Hi, Mom! It’s so good to finally see you after this long week.”

“Hi. Buckle yourself in.”

They drove for a while in silence, Kayla nervously fidgeting, seeing how her mother still had her usual stone-cold look on, devoid of any warmth. Just as Kayla let herself relax, her mother glanced at her and started talking to her in a monotone, bored voice.

“Well? What have you done about the blonde faggot on your floor?”

Kayla winced, and muttered “Uh, about that. Things have…uh, changed-“

“What the hell do you mean, ‘things have changed’?” Her mother was now glaring at her out of the corner of her eye, her immense anger already starting to seep up from below.

Under her mother’s malicious gaze, Kayla shuddered and muttered “Um, he turned out to be overly nice, he’s been smiling at me a lot lately, and I don’t feel good about wanting him to-“

Without any warning, her mother slammed on the brakes, the car jerking Kayla forward and back. The car was in the middle of a stranded country road, rolling hills their only company in sight. No traffic would be heading their way for several hours, no observers to the terror that Kayla was about to experience.

Her mother was now snarling at her daughter, who was backed up against the car door and whimpering.

“Are you seriously telling me that just because this cocksucker gave you one smile, you actually think he’s worthy of kindness?” the woman spat, her voice quickly rising into a shout.

Kayla barely managed to respond. “But Mom, he’s a really nice guy, and-“

“ **DON’T YOU FUCKING TALK BACK TO ME, YOU LITTLE BITCH!”** Her mother was now screaming in Kayla’s face, watching with furious satisfaction how cowered her daughter was.

“Your degenerate father left you and me for an AIDS-filled pig, and even after remembering that, you have the **audacity** to think that any of these perverts deserve happiness?! I didn’t suffer heartbreak at the hands of that treacherous flit for you to ever think that scum like him are good people! You and I are going to have a long talk about this when we get home! You clearly forgot how to properly deal with these trash when you graduated from high school.”

Kayla bit her lip and fought back scared tears, and mumbled “I-I’m sorry Mom, I’ll try harder when I get back.”

_“She’s never gonna let me forget that day…”_

* * *

 

_When Kayla had only been 10 years old, her parents’ marriage had deteriorated into a horrid relationship that involved daily screaming from her mother Maggie, and increasingly despondent pleas from her father Harry, a good, kind man who never failed to remind Kayla that he loved her dearly._

_As far as Kayla could remember, while her mother did smile occasionally at Harry, she was always quick to snap at him whenever she perceived something being done wrong; or rather, whenever he did or said something that didn’t please her. This eventually took its toll on her father, who began to gradually pull away from his wife, and, to Kayla’s shock, take weekly drives away from their home with parts of his longings in tow._

_Kayla and her father made an agreement to not reveal to her mother what he was doing, while Kayla failed to understand the truth of the situation. Even though her mother suspected something was amiss, she failed to fully realize Harry’s intentions until his last day in their house, when all of his belongings had been safely delivered to his mysterious destination._

_During his last day with Kayla, Harry gently took his daughter aside and told her many things that she could never forget 10 years later._

_“Kayla, sweetheart, I’m so sorry that you’ve had to see all of this happen. But I need you to understand this: first, no matter what happens, no matter how far apart you and I might be, no matter how much time passes between us, I will **always** love you, and you’ll always be my beloved daughter.”_

_“I’ll always love you too, Daddy,” she had told him, looking up at him with innocent confusion._

_“Sweetheart, you’ll only be able to understand this fully when you grow up. What I can tell you now is that your mother and I aren’t meant to be together anymore. Our marriage has failed for many reasons, and I’m sorry that you had to watch it fall. After tonight, I’m leaving this house forever, and it could be a struggle to see you after this.”_

_It took several moments for her father’s words to register with Kayla._

_“Daddy, where are you gonna go?”_

_“To live with…with another man, sweetheart. With a guy who I’ve known for years. Don’t be afraid for your Dad, Kayla. He’s going to be with somebody who loves him like I once loved your Mom.”_

_“What do you mean, Daddy?”_

_He ruffled her hair and told her “You’ll understand that later in life too, sweetheart. Now be careful, I need you to stay away from your mother and me tonight when I tell her I’m leaving. I don’t want you to be hurt by what’s bound to happen.”_

_Kayla obeyed, and hid in the shadows of the living room when her mother confronted Harry in the kitchen, quivering with rage and growling._

_“Where the fuck do you think you’re going, Harry? I never gave you permission to leave!” she shouted, Harry staring back at her with a resolute look._

_“I’m leaving you, Maggie. You know that, and I shouldn’t have to tell you when you’ve seen the proof of that these last few weeks. You’ve been horrible to me, and I deserve much better than to spend the rest of my life with an abusive woman like you. You’re a control freak who has to always have things go her way, who lashes out at everybody who refuses your orders. I’ve tried so hard to look past how you’ve treated me, but I’ve had enough. I’m going to live with somebody who cares about me much more than you ever have.”_

_Maggie laughed harshly and sneered at her husband. “Oh? And who could love a pathetic wimp like you, Harry? Who the hell could love a weakling like you?”_

_Kayla shuddered as she watched her father sigh, grimace, and glare back at Maggie._

_“Ethan.”_

_Her mother froze on the spot and whispered “What did you just say?”_

_“You heard me, Maggie. **Ethan.** My coworker. You know exactly who I’m talking about. We’ve known each other ever since I started working there all those years ago, and we’ve bonded throughout our time working together. Unlike you, Ethan actually loves me the right way, and knows how to take care of me, be kind to me. Do you understand what I’m telling you?”_

_The whole house seemed to pause in shock before Maggie shrieked “ **YOU FUCKING FAGGOT! I SHOULD’VE KNOWN YOU WANTED TO SUCK THAT SHIT-STABBER’S DICK THE INSTANT YOU LAID EYES ON EACH OTHER! GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!”**_

_Harry’s face didn’t change at all, his stoic expression unshaken in the face of his wife’s fury. He turned to leave, and then glanced back at Maggie, a steely look in his eyes as he glared at her._

_“I’ll always care about you, Maggie, but I’m done with you. And don’t you dare take this out on Kayla. You do anything to hurt my daughter, I’ll have you in court.”_

_With that, he dashed towards the front door where his car was waiting outside. Harry saw Kayla shivering in the corner of the living room, and deep grief momentarily broke across his calm face._

_“I’m so sorry, Kayla. I love you, always.”_

_Before she could say anything, her father was gone, and soon to be permanently banned from reentering her life by the iron will of her mother, who refused to let Harry and Kayla contact each other through any means. After that horrid night, Kayla never saw or heard of her precious father ever again, and was left alone to bear her mother’s immense, rising hatred of gay people for what had happened to her._

_Kayla had no choice but to submit to her mother’s hateful views on gay people, and grew to eagerly carrying out despicable deeds against innocent gay boys and girls who came across her path, in a desperate attempt to earn her mother’s approval at last._

* * *

 

Kayla shuddered, and thought to herself _“I have to do better when I go back to Sansburg Hall after break ends, or Mom’s gonna hate me just like she hates…like she hates Dad!”_


	7. Chapter 7

The holidays went by quietly for Armin and his grandpa, the last two members of the Arlert circle. When Christmas morning came, the two of them sat under John’s fake Christmas tree, sipping hot cocoa and unraveling the small presents they had bought for each other. Armin bought his grandpa a collection of Elvis Presley’s greatest hits, while his grandpa gave him a unique book of piano pieces to try when the day would finally come for Armin to try his hand at playing on the old instrument lying dusted in the corner of John’s living room. Armin’s Music major heart leapt when he flipped through the book and found a rendition of Clair de Lune, a favorite classical piece of his.

The month of December drew to a close, bringing with it the legendary Jaeger New Year’s Eve party. Year after year had been spent in Eren’s house, celebrating a new year and fresh start with his mother Carla’s home-cooked delicacies filling up their home with a heavenly scent, and more often than not, numerous bottles of fancy champagne that Eren’s father Grisha had managed to purchase. Grisha’s huge salary as a doctor always came in handy around the holidays, when he and everybody else craved high-end goodies.

John and Armin drove to Eren’s house just as darkness began to fall over the sky, the two of them aching to taste Carla’s newest concoctions and celebrate after a weary year. John kept glancing at his grandson in the backseat, noticing how exhausted Armin seemed to be. John was hesitant to ask the reason for Armin’s fatigue, believing it to be a common symptom of final’s week.

“You excited to see everybody tonight?” John asked him, trying to focus on the road as nightfall lowered his vision.

“Oh yeah!” Armin said. “I’m just tired, that’s all.”

 _“You seem more than tired, grandson…”_ John thought.

They finally arrived at the Jaeger house, a large two-story home with a large living room perfect for watching the New York ball drop. Carla Jaeger was waiting for them on her front step, waving them in eagerly. John and Armin clambered out of their car, carrying with them two covered platters of party meats and veggies.

“Happy New Year’s Eve, Mr. and Mr. Arlert!” she sang to them, opening the door for them.

“Happy New Year’s Eve, Carla,” John greeted her, smiling and smelling the warm spices coming from the kitchen indoors.

Carla turned to Armin and said to him “Hey, Armin, everything ok? You seem awfully wiped out. You know you gotta be awake for the ball drop, right?”

Armin nervously laughed and said “Sorry Mama Jaeger, I’ve had a long semester, that’s all. Is Eren here?”

“Of course! He and Mikasa are downstairs in the basement.”

John watched Armin walk inside, and was about to follow suit when Carla grabbed his arm and whispered “John, can I talk to you in private real quick?”

He blinked at her in confusion and muttered “Uh, sure, but what’s this about all of a sudden?”

Carla led him inside to the laundry room tucked out of the way, and shut the door so that nobody would bother them. John’s confusion deepened when he registered the anxiety on Carla’s lightly tanned face.

“John,” she began, nervously fidgeting with her hands, “what happened to Armin this semester? That boy is way too worn out for this to just be from final’s week. What’s going on with him, do you know?”

John shrugged helplessly and told her “Carla, Armin’s told me nothing. I know him enough to say that if there really was something wearing him down, he wouldn’t hesitate to tell me. Seriously, don’t worry about him. I’m guessing that he had more finals this semester than last year, and he’s probably thinking about next semester’s load too. I’m sure he’s fine.”

Carla sighed and said “I hope you’re right, John. I just hope that nobody’s doing anything bad to him…”

She walked out towards the kitchen, and John followed her, hoping that Carla was simply being paranoid.

_“Really, I’m sure that he’s fine. Besides, why wouldn’t Armin want to tell me that there’s something wrong?”_

* * *

 Armin walked into the living room and yawned, grateful that a New Year had almost come. Even though he thought he had managed to make a slight change to his settings back in Sansburg, Armin was still exhausted from having to face those girls’ constant malice day after day.

His eye’s wandered to the massive picture lying on top of the mantle, and Armin stood in the middle of the room, gazing at the smiling faces captured in the frame and hoping that he wouldn’t start crying.

In the picture, years ago when tragedy had befallen nobody, the Arlerts, Ackermans and Jaegers had constantly gone to Eren’s home to party and celebrate numerous friendly gatherings. The men of the 3 families had been close friends since college, and had united their families together soon after settling down. On one such gathering, they had wisely chosen to capture their collective happiness in a photograph that still stirred smiles from their remaining members.

 On the left side of the picture were the Ackermans, Mikasa’s slim father James and her serene mother Hanako flanking their daughter and beaming together at the camera. Armin still remembered the night when the lives of all 3 families had been shattered by their murder, when James and Hanako had fought back after robbers broke into their home, in a desperate bid to keep Mikasa safe. Even though those robbers were still rotting in jail, justice had failed to patch up the wound aching in Mikasa’s heart.

In the middle were the Jaegers, laughing heartily and living in the moment. Eren’s bubbly face was amplified by Carla’s joyful grin and Grisha’s calm but peaceful smile. The hosts of the groups’ soirees always had something to be happy for, be it another live saved by Grisha’s medical expertise or yet another marvelous recipe perfected by Carla’s cooking skills.

Armin breathed shakily as he glanced at the right side of the picture, where he and his family stood, grinning together at the camera and unaware that not too far down the distant road, their lives would be forever shattered by that horrible accident. Armin’s parents and grandparents all had their arms around each other, Will and Ellie placing tender hands on their son’s shoulders.

“I wish you all were here to celebrate with me…” Armin whispered, feeling tears beading at the corners of his eyes. “New Year’s isn’t the same without you…”

“Hey, Armin!” Mikasa said, walking into the living room. It only took her a moment to see where his eyes were focused, and that her friend was doing all he could to not cry. Mikasa walked up to him and gently wrapped him up in a side hug, holding him close as she felt her own grief flaring.

“I miss them so much, Mikasa,” Armin muttered, starting to sound choked up.

She nodded and said to him softly “I miss them too, Armin. Not a day goes by where I don’t yearn for my parents to be here and watch me grow up. But we both know that they wouldn’t want us to be mourning them on a night for celebrating. C’mon, Eren’s waiting to see you downstairs.”

Mikasa led Armin down to the basement, where Eren was sitting on the couch and giggling nonstop. Armin gave Mikasa a questioning look, and she only groaned in response. Eren saw Armin and waved to him, while Armin wondered what could possibly be winding his friend up so much.

“Yo, Armin! Get this, my Dad’s letting me try German beer tonight ‘cause it’s New Year’s!” he said, now bouncing up and down like a child.

Armin grimaced and asked “Eren, are you sure that’s a good idea? I’ve heard that German beer is super strong, and you don’t have good self-control when it comes to food.”

“Oh, please, stop worrying about me and just let me drink, ok? I’ve waited for this since Dad brought home a case of these sweet looking green bottles. They smelled awesome, and I’m gonna be tasting several different brands tonight!”

Mikasa and Armin did a synchronized face-palm, already imagining what Eren would be like drunk. His constantly flaring temper was sure to be screwed up even further after alcohol settled into his system.

A few hours later, and after Eren had unwisely chugged 4 bottles of a strong smelling ale, the group watched nervously as the boy went around the kitchen, cackling and stumbling over himself. Carla was glaring at her husband with dagger eyes, while Grisha was starting to sweat profusely at the sight of his drunk son.

“H-hey Mom, I forgot to tell you,” Eren said, and Carla froze up in terror. “R-remember the spiced *hic* chicken you wanted me to make for dinner?”

Carla muttered “What did you do, Eren?”

He giggled and said “Uh, I think *hic* instead of doing teaspoons of spices, I did *hic* cups-“

“ **YOU DID WHAT?!** ”

At that moment, a horrendous stench began to emit from the oven, and Carla dashed over to it. When she opened the door, the smell instantly swamped the kitchen, and everybody besides Eren gagged as Carla hurried to shut the oven off. The chicken was blackened to a crisp, resembling a twisted hunk of coal after Eren’s mishap.

The next hour was spent with Carla shrieking at Eren and Grisha for their poor choices, and a mad rush to find a pizza place still open. By sheer dumb luck, Carla managed to have a delivery set up before the last restaurant closed down for the night. Mikasa and Armin hid their faces as they laughed at how bizarre their night had turned out to be.

Just as everybody’s stomachs began to collapse from hunger, the pizza was finally delivered, and a mad rush was made for the food. The boxes were quickly emptied, and the night drew closer to 12. Everybody stood in the living room, watching the minutes count down to midnight.

“What are you two wishing for New Year’s?” Mikasa asked her friends, who were stuck in a rut, with Armin barely managing to support Eren up. Their best friend was just recovering from his drinking spree, and regretting it.

“More self-control,” Eren whimpered in response, and Armin patted his back.

“I know it’s cheesy, but…love,” Armin told Mikasa, blushing again at the thought of Shane’s apparent interest in him.

“Awesome. I think my wish is for a smoother year all around. My 2nd year’s been too much of a roller coaster so far, and I need it to calm down. I don’t have time for chaos in my life when I’ve got academics and you two to worry about.”

It finally came time for the ball to drop, and everybody shouted out the seconds as the year came to an end. When the ball finally disappeared, the group bellowed in celebration, and warm embraces were exchanged all around. Eren halfheartedly pumped a fist in the air, and Armin helped him sit down on the couch.

 _“Here’s to a New Year, and a new beginning,”_ Armin mused, smiling at his grandpa and everybody else as they continued to celebrate. _“I just hope that everything gets better when I go back in a few weeks…”_

* * *

 A few hours away from Armin’s hometown, Annie sat with her father Ernest in their tiny kitchen, waiting for Helen to arrive so that their small celebration could begin. The tiny T.V. in the corner of the kitchen was tuned to Times Square, showing the countdown to the ball drop and the start of the New Year. Annie yawned and absentmindedly tapped on the table, wondering what the New Year would bring.

_“Hopefully Armin’s having a good time back in his city. He deserves a break after the bullshit he’s been through this semester.”_

There was a knock on the front door, and Ernest got out of his seat to go answer it. Annie sat still and listened as her father greeted Helen.

“Good evening, Mrs.-“

“Helen, Ernest. Please, just call me Helen.”

Annie grimaced at the subtle anger in Helen’s voice. She had been told that Helen was set to officially divorce her bastard of a husband, and was doing everything in her power to disassociate herself from the man that had turned on his daughter for being a lesbian.

The two adults sauntered into the kitchen, and Helen waved at Annie in greeting.

“Happy New Year’s Eve, Annie.”

“Same to you, Helen. Been a long day?”

“Ugh, you have no idea. I love my job, but today just dragged on and on, and as expected, traffic getting home was horrific. I still have a headache from the frustration.”

They sat down at the table, and Ernest poured them all tall glasses of cheap champagne. Annie knew her father couldn’t care less if she drank underage, because she wasn’t much of a drinker to begin with. All she cared for was a strong cup of coffee, and the occasional tea if she was up for a change.

The champagne was a bit bland, but nobody seemed to care, as they all sipped away in silence until their glasses were drained to the last drop. Ernest sighed contentedly and leaned back in his chair, while Annie and Helen talked to each other about their plans for the New Year.

“Did Armin tell you anything else about those bitches on his floor?” Helen asked her, her brow creased in frustration.

“Nope. Actually, I take that back, he said something about getting the main bitch to lighten up and smile, or something like that. He seems to think that the problem’s solved.”

“I appreciate his big heart, but we both know that making them smile wouldn’t ever be enough to make them stop.”

Annie paused and asked her “So…Helen, what do you think **would** be enough to make them stop?”

Helen shuddered and muttered “If he committed suicide, no doubt.”

Ernest flipped out and yelled “Woah, hey, what the hell are you talking about, Helen? I might not know this Armin kid, but from what Annie’s said of him, he’s too nice for anybody to want him to die. Why do you think that’s what these idiots are after?”

“What, you don’t remember? When your daughter was only a sophomore in high school, two boys in that blasted ‘Christian’ high school were driven to suicide by a vicious pack of teenage scumbags. The only thing these wretches can be happy with is the end of these poor children’s very existences.”

Ernest groaned, and Annie bit her lip as the ugly memories of her sophomore year came reeling back. Two gay boys, both freshmen who were unsuspecting of the horrors that awaited them in the grayed halls, had become targets of a group of twisted teenagers who had seemed to hate the two boys the moment they were spotted walking through the school. From what Annie could recall, the two of them were close friends, and the 2nd boy had taken his life just weeks after his friend had. Her school had a horrendously weak response to their deaths, failing to mention that they committed suicide from constant bullying and only choosing to give the barest of condolences to the families.

“And, Ernest dear, please don’t let yourself forget that the same thing happened to my own daughter, even though she was the sweetest girl to walk the Earth. Don’t you ever forget that not only was she intentionally targeted by masses of students, some piece of shit tracked her down in the park near here and **murdered** her with a knife. The only balm for these wretches’ miserable souls is making others suffer needlessly. For all we know, Armin Arlert could be the next victim!”

Annie growled low in her throat and spat “If anybody tries that with Armin, then I’ll gladly massacre every last one of those c--ts! I’ve already lost one best friend to this crap, and I’ll die before I lose somebody else precious to me!”

Ernest gulped, taken aback at his daughter’s sudden malice.

“Why are you two so bent on protecting one boy? What difference will that make to you?”

Helen and Annie sighed in unison and gave him a stern glance.

“Dad, nobody deserves this crap, especially Armin. All he’s done this year is try to live his own life in peace, and that’s all these girls needed to target him with their stupid hate. You know as well as I do that this is how **she** began to crumble. I made a promise to her after she was buried that I would do everything in my power to avenge her, by ensuring that her tragedy wouldn’t be repeated. I won’t let anybody, no matter how mighty they think they are, make me break that promise and take Armin from me.”

Helen nodded and said “Same with me. If I can save just one child from this nightmare, then I might be able to finally forgive myself for failing to keep my own safe. I still haven’t been able to let go of the fact that if I had just listened to my anxiety that night, and told her to not go on her walk…”

Ernest reached across the table and squeezed her hand, and Helen smiled at him gratefully.

“I get it. I’m just shocked at how convicted you two are. Do what you need to do, then. I’m glad Armin has you two to keep him safe.”

 Annie smiled and then jumped out of her chair in shock when the T.V. in the corner of the room started blaring with the roars of the distant crowd as the year finally came to a close. The 3 of them hopped out of their chairs and huddled around the small screen, watching as the last 30 seconds ended and the New Year finally began. They all shouted in celebration and clapped each other on the back, and Ernest went to pour more champagne.

Helen turned to Annie and asked her “So what’s your New Year’s resolution?”

Annie shrugged and told her “Can’t you guess? Keep Armin safe at all costs. I’ll do whatever I must to make sure he stays unharmed.”

She nodded and said “That’s mine, too. Help him, and help every other child who comes to me for help. Being the PFLAG chairwoman has been good and bad, Annie. Good, because I can easily help so many people now. But bad, because every week, I’m reminded of how much hatred there is in this world.”

“We’ll both do our best to keep Armin protected from that pathetic hatred.”

“Agreed.”

* * *

  _The two of us were hesitant to believe that Armin’s problems back in Sansburg were really finished. Granted, Armin still has one of the best and brightest smiles that I’ve ever seen, and I’ve seen proof that he can melt even the iciest of hearts because his own is so big. These days, no matter how cold the person seems to be, once Armin starts talking to them, they always ease up to him._

_But even then, there are still some hearts that he could never hope to change. Because just as Helen and I suspected, everything got much worse for Armin once he returned to campus after our break ended. It seems between me, him, Eren and Mikasa, I was the only one who suspected that everything would go to hell in that dorm when he got back._

_Armin didn’t seem to pick up on the warning signs and take them seriously, until nobody could deny that those disgusting girls had resumed their efforts to push him to the brink. Not even me in my most anxious dreams could’ve realized how ugly things were going to be for him during his 2 nd semester that year.  _


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning: Bullying/Severe Homophobia

When Armin returned to the 4th floor of Sansburg Hall in mid-January, the dorm was once again a ghost town, with none of his floor mates in sight. Armin shrugged indifferently, knowing that several of them would take a few more days to return from whatever vacations they were on.

His grandpa had acted a bit odd when he had been dropped off. Something about the way he talked, his general air and posture gave off the impression that John Arlert was stressing over something.

“Let me know if you need anything, ok?” his grandpa had said to him, as Armin was about to head to his room.

“Of course, grandpa. Are you feeling ok? You seem…agitated about something.”

“Oh, I’m fine. Just have a lot on my mind. Have a great 2nd semester!”

“See you.”

When evening came, Armin strolled out of his room towards the stairs, calm and hoping for a smooth first week. He glanced over his shoulder and saw Kayla standing near the elevators, with an unmistakable glare in her eyes. Armin turned to her and smiled again, expecting her to return the favor.

Instead, he was met with her classic sneer, and she flounced away towards her room, leaving Armin standing by himself and confused.

_“Did something bad happen to her over break? She’s acting just like she did last semester…I thought that I made her change…so why…”_

He sighed and walked away towards the dining hall, wondering why the girl had chosen to revert to her old malicious self.

His question was answered in a way that Armin wasn’t prepared for, during a lazy afternoon later that week, when he stood in front of the mirror in one of the floor’s single bathroom stalls, checking to make sure that he had no dirt on his face. Armin was about to head out of the bathroom, when two voices suddenly began hissing right next to the door, making him jump and freeze up in terror.

“This freak spends too much time for a guy in here. What the fuck does he do, stare at himself in the mirror the whole time?”

“Probably. He’s always acting so smug and full of himself, smirking at me every time he sees me. Arrogant little shit. Who gave him the right to hog the restroom?”

Armin shuddered involuntarily, recognizing the voices of Kayla and her best friend Clair.

_“What the…how do they know that I’m in here?!”_

The two girls stayed outside the door, sniggering and continuing their ploy.

“You know what we should do? We should let the rest of this floor know that this freak’s being full of himself and not letting others use the room. That’ll teach him a lesson.”

“Omg, yes! We need to put him in his place before he gets any funny ideas. No guy should be in the restroom as much as he is. It’s wrong, and it’s gross. Ugh, gay guys are so nasty.”

They finally walked away, and Armin hesitated to leave the restroom. When he walked to the stairs, he saw the two girls sitting in the lounge and still whispering about something, no doubt about him. Armin glanced at Kayla in confusion and hurt, and when she saw him looking, both she and Clair snarled at him.

“What are you looking at?” Kayla shouted at him. “Mind your own fucking business!”

Clair laughed at him and mockingly asked him “Aw, is the gay boy afraid? Good. It’s time you learned your place!”

Armin turned and hurried down the stairs and away from the scene, hearing them cackle behind him. He didn’t stop walking until Sansburg Hall was far behind him, looming into the sky, its gray stone exterior reminding him of rodent bones sticking out of the earth. Other students walking past him looked at him funnily, wondering what was making him shudder so violently.

_“This is bad! What the hell did I do? Nobody was this evil back in the fall!”_

* * *

 Armin refused to tell any of his friends what had happened, silently hoping that passivity would lead to the situation correcting itself. Annie noticed how agitated he was during Japanese class, and yanked him aside afterwards.

“Armin, what’s wrong? It’s way too early in the semester for you to be this stressed out.”

Not wanting to burden his best friend with the knowledge that things had taken a turn for the worst, Armin chose to hide his terror.

“Um, it’s nothing.”

“Bullshit. What did they do this time?”

He gulped and told her “Well, they’re still being their petty selves. I just thought that smiling at that one girl all the time would bring an end to them being snot-headed.”

Annie sighed and said to him “Look, Armin, you know that me and everybody else have your back, right?”

“Well…yeah…”

“Then if something else happens, we need you to tell us. If you don’t, then nothing will change.”

“I know,” he told her, hoping that his half-lie would be enough to placate her.

Both Eren and Mikasa pulled him aside during a night out later that week, and refused to let him leave until they had their say.

“Look, Armin, we both know that something’s on your mind. Is it those bitches on your floor again? If they’re trying to hurt you, then I need to know!” Mikasa said, gripping his arm tight and making him look her in the eye.

He pulled the same stunt as before, only telling her “They’re just being stupid as usual. Nothing for you to worry about, I swear.”

Behind them, Eren groaned and muttered “Dude, you’re not hiding something, are you?”

Armin laughed and retorted “Why would I do that? Seriously, you two need to stop freaking out, it’s no big deal. I can handle it.”

His assumption that he could manage whatever the new wave of malice was ended up being proven wrong numerous times over, as the entire month of January became filled with daily incidents on his floor. Somehow, one of the girls had managed to figure out when he entered and left the restroom, and soon Armin became almost accustomed to hearing somebody whisper malicious gossip about him just outside the door as he tried to ignore his surroundings and go about his daily life.

The bathroom was soon distorted from a safe haven into a place where he felt like a cornered animal constantly hiding from bloodthirsty hunters, whose goal remained unknown to him. These incursions on his privacy were soon followed by a series of seemingly anonymous notes found scattered over the floor, their content filled with disturbing jabs at him.

One such note was found in the laundry room, taped to the dryer for the floor to see. Armin read it and gritted his teeth as he finally accepted that he was being singled out.

_“The gay boy in room 415 is an arrogant brat who spends half his day being a narcissist in front of the mirror._

_Not only that, but he goes around laughing and sneering at us ladies for no good reason, acting like he’s the top dog when he’s the biggest piece of shit around._

_Stay away from him…unless you want to get AIDs.”_

Armin was granted no respite from this sudden round of personal attacks, as more and more girls seemed to crawl out of the woodwork to laugh at him and join in the daily rounds of verbal taunts thrown his way by Kayla and Clair. It seemed that no matter what time of the day it was, there was always a girl waiting for him in the lounge, or even near the laundry room, ready to insult him and remind him that there was nowhere he could go to escape his torment.

“Watch where you’re going, freak!” one girl screamed at him as she shoved her way past him to the elevators.

“Don’t come anywhere near us, you sicko!” two others shouted at him one night as he tried to walk quietly back to his room after classes. “We don’t want to catch your disease!”

During the day, while he was walking outside of his dorm during a break between classes, the evil atmosphere in Sansburg Hall clung to Armin’s mind, and nothing he thought of could shake it away. Even then, he refused to tell anybody who cared for him what was happening to him. For some reason, Annie’s friend Helen had been sending him numerous check-up texts that were starting to increase in frequency at an alarming rate. Armin was beginning to wonder if she was somehow aware of his situation. But he let nothing change his refusal to reveal the truth.

_“No, not even her. I don’t want anybody to freak out and try to get involved. I’m sure that this will calm down when those girls realize that what they’re doing is wrong.”_

His one last hope was in Shane, who Armin hadn’t seen since he had returned from winter break. The lapse finally ended when Armin passed him by one chilly afternoon on his way home. As Shane walked towards his direction, Armin pointedly looked at him and beamed, hoping to elicit the same response that he had seen in the lounge weeks prior.

But once again, his smile failed, for Shane took one glance at him and instantly glowered at him, his handsome features distorted with disgust and what Armin thought was a glimpse of fear. Armin was left standing on the sidewalk, watching the hunk walk away, and feeling more dejected than ever.

 _“Why is **he** turning on me, too?” _Armin thought as he gazed at the fading form. _“Did somebody on my floor spread those lies to him, too?”_

Adding to Armin’s despair was Elise, the quiet third member of the evil triumvirate that was bent on making him suffer. Armin had desperately wished that she, the petite girl who seemed to be solely terrified of him, would refrain from joining in on the malice surrounding him. That hope was removed when she glared him down as they rode the elevator up to the 4th floor together one evening, near the end of the month as everything on the floor continued to worsen.

Armin sighed and hurried away to his room, wondering what he had done to deserve the hatred being shown from so many people.

* * *

 Elise watched Armin turn out of the corner and out of sight, her snarl still plastered on her face in case any of the other girls were to come by. Once she heard his door open and close, she walked into her own room and collapsed there on the bed, burying her face in her hands and shuddering in shame.

“No…why...why am I letting myself do this?” she whimpered, tears beading as distant memories came floating back.

“This is wrong… **wrong**! This is too much like back in high school, when we all targeted…”

Elise gulped, and made herself continue to remember, her self-hatred flaring.

“…when we targeted my ex-best friend…”

That poor girl, that sweet and caring once-friend of Elise had never suspected that Kayla, Clair and so many other horrible girls were plotting her doom. Elise, who had been made a member of Kayla’s group on the condition that she help the twisted girl target innocent gay students, had been forced to help plan her ex-best friend’s downfall, telling them where she lived so that no escape routes from their malice could be possible.

Elise wept as she recalled that horrible day, when she had been sitting in her homeroom waiting for the daily announcements to begin, and the solemn voice of the school’s vice-principal blared throughout the school, bringing terrible news.

“It is to my deepest regret that I must announce the death of one of our students, who was found in the town park last night.”

All around her, Kayla and the others sniggered as they celebrated another disgusting victory. Elise had no choice but to hide her grief under a pretense of equal sadism. Kayla and Clair took her aside later that day to tell her that the girl had been finally driven to suicide after Kayla’s constant cyber bullying and Clair’s successful attempts at inflaming much of the student population with horrendous lies about her sexuality had proven to be too much.

“I helped drive my best friend to suicide…and all because I was afraid that Kayla would turn on me if I didn’t help her! How can I hope to face Helen ever again?”

And now, history was repeating itself. Elise shuddered as she glanced through the screenshots of the notes that Kayla had written. Kayla had demanded that Elise take pictures of the messages, so that when the time was right, they would spread the lies among the campus, with the girl’s end goal being the hopeful suicide of Armin Arlert.

Elise curled in on herself, rocking back and forth as she continued to sob. None of her “friends” were around to watch her, and so, she was able to remove her hateful mask, letting her sorrow come through.

“If we actually push Armin over the edge like we did with her…then I don’t think I’ll be able to forgive myself…”

“When did I let myself become such a coward?”

* * *

 The last day of January arrived, and Armin sat in his room, feeling bleak beyond repair and wishing that he had never come back for his 2nd semester. He spent his Friday night locking himself indoors, hoping that with the weekend upon them, his hecklers would leave him alone and go elsewhere.

He had turned down an offer from Eren and Mikasa to go out to dinner, knowing that if they saw him in his current state, the cat would be out of the bag. The image in his head of Eren and Mikasa boiling over at the knowledge of his situation was unpleasant, due to the added drama that their fury would bring to his problem.

 _“It’s January 31 already, and my first month back has been completely wasted on this crap.”_ Armin glared at the door, his anger towards Kayla and the others barely in check. _“What the hell happened to make these girls so hateful?”_

Armin then realized that he had forgotten something. January 31 was a day dear to his heart, and he had to make himself remain calm, not wanting to get teary eyed and admit how hurt and lonely he felt. With a deep breath, Armin closed his eyes and felt the old longing swell up.

“Happy birthday, Mom” he whispered, aching for her loving embrace. “I miss you so much. I wish, with all my heart, that you were still here to help me deal with this. I’m struggling to keep going, and I don’t know how much more of this I can take. It’s taking all of my will to not break down under all of this stress. But even with all of this happening to me, I know that one day, we’ll be reunited. Knowing that I’ll eventually see you, Dad and grandma again is the only thing keeping me from giving up hope…”

* * *

 The first week of February was an endless repeat of January’s nightmare, the notes, stalking and taunting continuing to drag Armin down into a mire of pain. He decided that, come Friday of that week, he would finally make himself tell Annie to her face that yes, something terrible was happening to him.

But his hope was shattered when he arrived at Japanese class, only to get a text from her telling him that she was sick, and unable to make it.

“My head’s pounding like a drum, and I could barely make it out of bed this morning. I’m sorry, Armin. Hopefully I’ll be better by Monday. Let me know what we do in class today, ok?”

“Will do, Annie. Hope you get better.”

That day turned into one of the longest drags of Armin’s life. When class finished, he wearily walked over back home, wishing that everything happening to him was a bad dream that he could eventually wake up from. The note he found slid under his door, unfortunately, was another reminder of how his cruel reality couldn’t be escaped from.

_“Armin should just die already. It’s not like anybody on this floor would miss a loser with HIV. This floor has put up with his existence long enough, and nobody would be stupid enough to cry over his corpse. If he doesn’t do us all a favor and kill himself, then it’ll be up to us to finish the job ourselves.”_

Armin groaned and threw the note into the corner of the room, laying down on his bed and doing all he could to not finally collapse into tears.

_“What did I do to deserve this? How could somebody hate me enough to wish me dead?”_

The next day, the floor turned into an empty shell, with everybody else outside and partying. Armin refused to leave his room except to grab a few things to eat, hoping to avoid running into Kayla or anybody else for a chance. His Saturday was spent sitting alone in his room, yearning to be home with his grandpa and away from the terror surrounding him.

Midnight came, and no sounds could be heard on the floor. Armin realized that his floor mates were still out of the building and roaming around the area.

_“I might as well just call it a day…I don’t see the point in dragging my night out any further.”_

Despite his attempts to ignore the creepy focus on his bathroom visits, Armin made himself clean up quicker than usual, aching to prevent Kayla or anybody else from sneaking up on the door again. When he exited the bathroom, he froze in the middle of the hallway, the sensation of being watched sending chills over his body.

Armin turned to his left, and saw, to his terror, a shadow under the door at the end of the hallway, where Kayla lived. All he could to was stare in fright as the door opened, revealing Kayla laughing at him in the frame, and pointing the screen of her phone in his direction. Armin could vaguely make out a guy’s face on her phone. A moment of silence passed over the floor before the stranger spoke up.

“Get out of here and off yourself already, you cock-sucking faggot!”

With a groan, and Kayla screaming more insults behind him, Armin ducked into his room and closed the door quietly, sitting on his bed and knowing that he had finally hit his limit. Outside, he could hear Kayla and her guy friend shouting loud enough for him to hear.

“I’m sick of seeing that loser’s face on this floor! I don’t know why he’s still thinking that he can survive here! He has nobody to help him, not even that dunce of an RA Hannah! Nobody’s gonna be around to watch him die, and not a single person here will sob when they find out that he killed himself! Armin Arlert’s fate in this dorm is sealed, and his only way out is to hurry up and die already!”

“He should know by now that God doesn’t care about protecting him, doesn’t give a damn about gay scum like him! When this freak finally dies, either by suicide or by me, he’ll go straight to Hell!”

Armin shuddered and whimpered “Leave me alone already!” under his breath, aching for some form of comfort. He turned to his phone and turned the power off, not wanting any of his friends to find out what was happening, shame stopping him from speaking out. He listened carefully, and when he knew that Kayla was done screaming, he turned to the wall and tried his hardest to get into a calm attitude.

“God…ugh…I…” Armin struggled to form words as he fought back his grief. “I need help. I don’t know what to do. I’m…sorry, God, but everything they’ve put me through is dragging me down. I feel like I’m drowning in their hatred, and I don’t know how to pull myself out of this. I need somebody to help me before…“

Armin thought of Shane, whom he still had an infatuation for, and grinned, pumping his fist into the air and feeling a slight bit of elation.

“God, I know!” he whispered, not wanting Kayla to hear him. “If I tell Shane what’s going on, then-“

Without any warning, Armin felt something akin to an electric shock shake his body to the core. He looked around the room, terrified and wondering what the source was. The window was sealed tight, and the A.C. was cranked up to the highest setting, eliminating the possibility of cold air making him shiver.

“God?” he hesitantly asked, confused and disturbed. “What was that?”

And then, in the back of Armin’s mind, strange images were brought to the surface, and it took Armin a moment to realize that he as seeing memories of his freshmen year. In them, he could see several tall, burly guys walking past him and sneering at him, hissing insults at him as they passed him. To Armin’s horror, the tallest of them all was none other than Shane, who looked like he was ready to spit at the smaller boy in the scene.

More and more images passed through his mind of similar incidents, involving Shane laughing at him with his friends and showing Armin endless contempt. Armin bit his lip as the truth of his repressed memories overrode his previous beliefs about his crush.

“But...God, people can change, right?” he softly pleaded, still feeling desperate. “Surely if he knew that Kayla’s trying to make me commit suicide, he’d be willing to help, right?”

A strong feeling of dread was creeping over him, but despite it, Armin made himself think of the one time Shane had smiled at him, and yearned with all his might for a second chance with the hunk.

 _“Please…”_ Armin silently willed, hoping that one way or another, Shane would find out about his situation, _“If you ever cared about me, please help me here! These girls, including your friend Clair, are trying to get me to kill myself, and I feel defeated! Please, Shane, help me!”_

* * *

 Helen woke up with a gasp and clutched at her pounding heart, a strange feeling of terror clenching at her and making her sweat profusely. She tried to think of what could’ve made her freak out so badly, but no nightmares came to mind. After a few more moments of pondering, her thoughts drifted to Annie’s friend, and Helen scrambled for her cell phone.

“Please, please pick up…” she begged, scrolling through her contact list and nearly breaking her screen when she pounded on the call button. Helen’s terror escalated when her call went straight to voicemail, Armin’s soft voice assuring that he would return the call later.

 _“Why did he turn off his phone?”_ Helen thought, anxious thoughts whirling around her mind about the potentially horrific situations the boy could be in. _“Something happened to him, I’m sure of it. That has to be why I woke up so fast. This has been happening too many times in the last few weeks to be a coincidence! That child’s been hiding something from me and Annie since the semester began!”_

She kneeled at her bedside and shuddered, trying to avoid thinking of Armin’s possible situations. Helen looked at her bedroom desk, another portrait of her beloved daughter resting amicably, her smile giving the bedroom a serene atmosphere.

Helen gulped nervously and began a desperate prayer.

“God, I’m begging you, take care of Armin. I know that’s why I woke up like I did. But he isn’t willing to tell me or Annie what’s happening, and I’m so scared! Please, God…”

She looked at her daughter’s face again, and burst into delirious tears as she recalled the image of her child’s beaten corpse collapsed in her arms, her once glimmering eyes gazing at nothing, devoid of life and joy.

“ **Please don’t let them do to Armin what they did to my poor daughter!** ”

* * *

  _I was confused as well, when Armin finally told me everything that happened to him on that awful floor, including that somebody had been spying on him. By all rights, nobody should’ve been able to know for a fact when he was in the restroom. Eventually, both of us managed to figure out how these bitches knew, and the answer is horridly simple: that monster named Kayla had been using the peephole in her dorm door to spy on his every move, so that he could never escape her vile presence on the floor._

_As for what happened to Helen, that’s still a mystery. Even to this day, Helen is still shaken by what she experienced that night, and the weeks leading up to this horrible moment in Armin’s life. As she’s told me over and over again, some strange sense of horror kept sneaking up on her, getting stronger and more intense as February came around. On this night, whatever sensation she was dealing with was so bad, it nearly gave her a heart attack._

_Like you’ve seen me say before, I don’t really believe in supernatural things, unless it’s too obvious to be ignored; this was one of those rare times when even I had to admit that something especially strange was occurring, something beyond our weak human comprehension. Nobody knows exactly what happened to Helen. Whatever it was, her motherly instinct, the hand of God, or whatever you want to call it, Helen somehow realized that Armin had been pushed to the brink of destruction that night, and was teetering on the edge, close to giving up forever._

_Prior to this, I had begged Armin to tell me if something was happening to him. As you can tell, my hunch was right. It seems that his shame over what those bitches did to him, coupled with his humiliation over failing to tell me and everybody else sooner, prevented him from admitting that he needed help. Thank goodness some other form of help came for him, or I truly believe that I would’ve lost another precious best friend that year._


	9. Chapter 9

After spending several hours struggling to find any motivation to leave his room, Armin managed to make himself shamble out of Sansburg Hall, and stopped into the nearest dining hall, hoping to find a decent lunch. He still felt drained from the trauma of the previous night, and was hoping to go in and out of the cafeteria quickly, aching to be back in his room and away from people.

As he walked towards the premade food cooler, Armin spotted Shane sitting with two other burly friends, slouched together and whispering about something. An unpleasant sensation traveled up and down Armin’s spine, and he began to feel strangely nervous. The feeling seemed to only get worse as he waited in the long line to be cashed out. He looked up, and saw that the three guys were glaring at him intensely.

Armin shuddered under their malicious gaze, and barely managed to respond to the cashier. The sensation in his spine was quickly turning into an ugly queasiness. He tried to walk away as briskly as he could, and made an effort to not look around him as he went for the exit. But for all his speed and determination, he couldn’t go fast enough to miss what Shane spat at him:

“Fucking faggot.”

* * *

 Armin collapsed in his room the instant the door closed behind him. The bag of food fell at his side as he clutched the bed frame, trying not to throw up. Anxiety was clutching at his insides with an iron grip, his body heaving as he struggled to comprehend that his would-be hero had turned out to be another monster.

 _“W-what? He wasn’t supposed to say anything like that!”_ Armin thought in despair. _“He was supposed to be kind, and want to help me!”_

_“I…I feel like I’m going to be sick!”_

He tried to make himself breathe deeply, but that wasn’t helping at all. All of the gross feelings churning inside him were blotting out everything else in his mind.

Armin closed his eyes and wrapped himself in his arms, trying hard not to cry.

“God…” he started to say, still fighting the urge to collapse, “I’m so tired of…of…being hurt by people I’ve done nothing to…”

With his eyes closed, everything that had happened to him in the lonely dorm hall came flooding back to him: the laughter, the taunts, the cruel messages, the whispering outside the bathroom door. Tears began to bead at the corners of Armin’s eyes, but this time, they were tears of rage.

“What did I do to deserve any of this? All I wanted was to life my damn life in peace, but now…”

 _“ **Say it,”**_ a sudden voice whispered in his ear. _“ **Let your rage flow out.”**_

Armin gritted his teeth, and felt the negativity he had tried to bury for months slowly building up and up. His hands began to shake as the tears started to finally flow. All of his rage and pain was seething, and it was all he could do to not start go berserk.

“ ** _They will suffer,”_** the voice hissed, becoming increasingly sinister and louder. “ ** _They will pay the price of their deeds.”_**

**_“The hatred they gave to you will be returned a thousand-fold. The cruelty they showed you will never compare to the horrors that they will see.”_ **

The voice, which was darkly feminine, was echoing harshly and turning into a roar.

“Now, I’ve had enough!” Armin spat, his anger about to burst.

“ ** _He will punish them for what they’ve done! He will turn their sneers into looks of agony and horror!”_**

**_“They will reap their horrific reward! THEY WILL BURN!”_ **

At last, Armin threw his head back and opened his mouth wider than he’d ever opened it. It took all of his willpower to not shriek in fury. Instead, it seemed to him that he screamed inside his mind, his malice filling his head to the brim.

The voice seemed to be screaming with him, bellowing terrible things in a language that Armin had never heard of. Armin’s scream and the otherworldly shriek blended together into a horrible crescendo that lasted for several moments.

When he felt his anger finally subside, Armin collapsed onto the floor of his room, the tears still flowing down his cheeks. He had the uncanny feeling that even though he was the only person in his room, others were with him. Armin heard the voice in his head slowly fade away, its rage-filled words still echoing.

After a few minutes, Armin’s tears stopped, and he was able to prop himself up onto his bed. He felt exhausted after letting lose all of his long pent-up anger. He grimaced when he remembered that he was supposed to meet with Hannah in little less than an hour. And then, another thought dawned on him:

_“I have to tell my grandpa…”_

That was an altogether uncomfortable thought, because that meant opening up about everything, opening up about all of the horrors that he had kept hidden, especially what had happened just in the past week. Armin knew that he couldn’t bring himself to even touch his phone right now, he was too afraid of his grandpa’s reaction.

Much to his shock, his phone began to vibrate rapidly, a sign that a call was incoming. Armin hesitantly flipped it over, and, with dread, recognized his grandpa’s caller I.D. on the screen. He slowly picked it up and made himself, after a deep breath, press the answer button.

“Armin!” he heard his grandpa shout ecstatically. “I’ve been thinking about you a lot. I’ve been getting worried because you haven’t called me in a while. Is everything ok?”

Armin gulped and muttered “Hey, grandpa. Um…no, I’m not ok.”

There was a moment of silence before his grandpa replied.

“…Armin? What’s wrong? You sound all choked up.”

Armin squeezed his eyes shut, determined to not start crying again.

“Armin?” his grandpa said again, his tone changing into panic, “What’s wrong?”

It took another second before Armin could shakily say “There are…homophobes on my dorm floor.”

“W-what?” His grandpa suddenly sounded much weaker. “Armin, what do you mean? What’s going on?

“There are these girls on this floor. Um, they’ve been getting increasingly malicious since September. It started with some really petty stuff, but it’s been escalating to being stalked while I’m in the restroom, and to people openly calling me a…”

The other end was silent for several seconds. Armin could hear his grandpa breathing heavily.

“Why? Why is this happening?” his grandpa whispered, evidently on the verge of tears himself.

“I don’t know, grandpa,” Armin answered honestly. “I’ve been asking that too.”

Both of them were quiet for a bit before his grandpa managed to speak up.

“Have you told anybody about this?”

“I’m meeting with my RA soon. I’ll tell her all of this when I meet her.”

“…ok.”

“…I love you, Armin,” his grandpa said softly.

“I love you, too, grandpa,” Armin replied. He waited one last moment before ending the call.

* * *

 John Arlert let his phone drop to his side, and put his face in his hands as the tears streamed down. His mind was now a storm of negative thoughts, as memories blared in his mind: the day back in August when he had dropped Armin off at his new dorm, unsuspecting of what could happen to his grandson, and what Armin looked like when he had returned home for winter break: far wearier than what finals week could do to him, just as Carla Jaeger had told him.

“How…how did I let this happen?” he mumbled. “Why didn’t I ask Armin what was going on sooner?”

He raised his face out of his hands, and his gaze fell on the family portrait on the counter. In it, a picture shot so many years ago was framed. The photo had been taken during their cabin retreat in the tranquil summer that now felt like a different era. The five Arlerts were all beaming together at the camera, in a moment when their lives were then free from pain and suffering.

Another pang of emotion ripped through John’s heart and his sobs began anew. He got up to kneel down in front of the picture, looking at the faces of his son and daughter-in-law, whom were no doubt watching their beloved child break down in his dorm room.

“Will…Ellie…” John whispered, guilt clamping down on him, “I’m so sorry…”

“…I’ve failed to protect your child.”

* * *

 In Hannah’s room, Armin sat down with her on her futon and told her about everything that had happened to him on their floor. He watched as her face contorted in horror and grief at what she was hearing.

When he finished, it took her a moment to gather her composure.

“Armin, I’m so sorry,” she began. “I can’t believe that I never found out about this…all of this must’ve happened while I wasn’t on the floor…but how?”

He helplessly shrugged his shoulders in response.

She twisted her hands together, her brow knotted as she thought about what to say.

“What would you like me to do about this? Do you want me to help you find a different dorm by any chance?”

Armin froze up and told her “No, no! I don’t want to leave, that would be troublesome with all of the things in my room. But can I talk to the Hall Director?”

“Of course!” Hannah said. “I’ll contact him tonight and see when he can meet you.”

But then Hannah looked at him worryingly and asked him “Are you absolutely certain that you don’t want to leave, Armin? I won’t be offended if you do. I’d want to leave a place like this if I was in your shoes.”

“Really, I’m sure!” he said. “I’m certain that once I talk to the Director, things will work out. And besides, we’re already half-way done with this year, I doubt that there are any more open rooms left.”

Hannah said nothing, and it seemed to Armin that she was really bothered by what he had just said.

“…ok Armin. I’ll let you know when Levi responds to me.”

“Ok.”

* * *

 In the back of his mind, Armin knew that he would have to tell Annie and the others about what was going on. But he couldn’t bring himself to do it; he was already emotionally drained, and their reactions to his predicament would only exaggerate his exhaustion.    

When he walked back onto the floor lounge after grabbing his dinner, he saw out of the corner of his eye the girl from the beginning of the year who had been a sympathetic witness to the incident near the stairwell. She was with two other girls whom Armin had never seen before. For all he knew, they were his floor mates; he still didn’t know who half of the people on the floor were.

The girls all looked up from their conversation and looked at Armin with a weird look of horror in their eyes. He kept walking to his room, confused as to what they were so terrified of.

He sat down on his bed, and tried to think of what could’ve happened to make them so afraid. And then, he remembered that he had completely lost his temper and nearly started screaming in rage earlier in the day.

 _“But I didn’t scream out loud…”_ he thought. _“They couldn’t possibly have heard the screaming going on in my head…could they?”_

He chose to forget about it and try his hardest to relax.

* * *

 The three girls watched the blonde boy walk away, noting how worn he looked. They went back to whispering, fear and confusion clutching at all of them.

“That’s him!” one of them hissed. “That’s the boy who snapped in our dreams!”

“But how did we all have the same dream?” another girl asked, her friends shrugging their heads as they wondered.

The third girl, who had semi-interacted with him once, months ago after hearing that psycho snap at him near the stairwell, thought deeply while her friends chatted. It was all too strange. Earlier that afternoon, she had had a horrifying nightmare where she watched him deteriorate into tears as he talked about how hurt he was. His grief had quickly turned into rage, and that rage was suddenly unleashed in a shriek that made her wake up in terror.

“The real question is why he was so upset…” she told them. They looked at her as she went over the past few months in her head, trying to piece the puzzle together so that she could find the truth.

Her horror washed over her anew as she remembered hearing that girl yelling disturbing things about that kid right where they were sitting, in the middle of the floor’s lounge.

“It was her!” she spat, and her friends asked her in bewilderment “Who? What are you talking about?”

“It was that bitch Kayla from down the hall!”

* * *

  _When Armin went to sleep that night, he had a sudden longing to be with his family that he hadn’t felt in a long time. Without a doubt, the recent events had taken a severe toll on him, more than he realized._

_It took longer than usual for him to fall asleep. Everything that had happened to him was flying around his mind, preventing him from relaxing in the slightest. When he finally managed to doze off, he wasn’t entirely sure that he was dreaming._

_Everything around him was covered in a dark blue mist. Whatever his surroundings were, it felt incredibly sad._

_“I guess blue really is the color of sadness,” Armin thought. “It’s like I’m being covered in my own grief here.”_

_The sensation he had felt that afternoon suddenly returned, and Armin looked around, sensing again that he wasn’t alone. He heard the muffled sound of soft fabric swishing about, and he stiffened when he recognized the sound._

_“That’s…the sound Grandma Judith’s prayer shawls made when she was walking around.”_

_He heard quiet footsteps behind him, and when he turned around, Armin saw her walking towards him, her gently wrinkled face burdened with pain._

_Grandma Judith stood in front of him, looking at her grandson with a mix of love and deep-seated sadness. She slowly ran her hand through his hair, gently caressing him like she used to when he was much younger._

“Oh, sweetie” _she whispered._ “I’m so…sorry…so sorry…”

_She began to shudder, and Armin saw tears pooling at the corners of her eyes. His grandma turned away from him, covered her face in the shawl around her neck, and began to weep bitterly. Armin watched in astonishment as she faded away into the mist, leaving behind the echo of her grief._

_“I’ve never seen Grandma that sad.” Armin was shaken by the sight of his grandma in a place like this._

_“Isn’t this just a dream? But if it’s a dream, why does this feel so real? Why did I so vividly feel her stroke my hair and hear her cry?”_

_“What’s going on?”_

_He flinched as he heard more footsteps behind him. This time, the footfalls sounded much heavier. Armin shivered, knowing without a doubt who was walking towards him. He turned around hesitatingly, and drew a swift breath when he recognized the man behind him._

_William Arlert gazed down at his son with the piercing blue eyes that father and son shared. His father had a stony expression on his face as he drew closer. Armin gasped as he was wrapped up in his father’s signature bear hug, his small frame wrapped up in the huge girth._

“I love you, son,” _he heard his father say, their faces pressed close to each other._

 _“_ I love you too, Dad,” _Armin said back. He and his father held each other for what seemed like a lifetime._

_To his shock, Armin felt his father’s body trembling. Armin lifted his head back and gasped at what he saw._

_“_ Dad?”

_His father was gritting his teeth, trying to stop the tears from falling out of his eyes. It was a massive shock for Armin to see this man, who did his best to hide his sorrow from his family as much as he could, openly weeping here and now. Will’s whole body was shaking and heaving as the stopper on his grief came undone._

_Armin’s shock amplified when his father suddenly faded away, just like his grandma had. Armin was left alone in the mists again, pondering over the oddness of his situation._

_“This can’t possibly be a dream. That hug…that was too real for this to be a dream.”_

_“But if it’s not a dream, then what is it?”_

_The mist yielded no answers, only silence._

_Armin looked around, seeing that the mist seemed to go on forever. It didn’t make him feel trapped, but the presence was still overwhelming._

_It was then that it dawned on him who would logically show up after the appearances of his grandma and father. Armin’s chest tightened and he felt a slight panic go through him._

_”If **she** shows up next…then I won’t be able to…”_

_At that moment, the mist was suddenly dissolved by a golden light that was warm on his back. Armin froze in place, both wanting to see what the source of the light was, but also dreading his inevitable reaction._

_He turned, and the breath left him when he saw her, basking in the golden light, the reason the mist was fading away around him. She seemed to be the light’s source, as it radiated from her like a lampstand in the evening._

_She looked the same as Armin had always known her to be, beautiful and gentle, with love seeming to brim out from her eyes. But this time, the soft brown eyes that were fixed on him were also tense with anguish, and her hands were clasped on her face, covering up her mouth so that the gaze of her eyes was intensified on him._

_Armin felt himself finally shaking, and he knew that with her here, there was nothing he could do to stop the tears of exhaustion from falling. He only managed to choke out one word in response to the sight in front of him:_

“ **Mom** …”

 _At the sight of her son’s tears, Ellie Arlert whimpered over and over again_ “No…no….no!”

_She rushed forward, wrapped her child up in the biggest embrace she had ever given him and wailed “_ **My baby!”**

_Armin collapsed into his mother’s arms, shaking together with her as they sobbed. He could no longer see any of the blue mist around them; her golden light had seemed to dispel it completely. The light and his mother’s embrace was filling Armin with a powerful warmth. But despite all of that, the grief that he was releasing in her arms was devastating._

_“_ Why…why did they do this to you?” _Ellie asked, holding onto her child as if to save him from drowning._ “Why did they hurt you?”

_Armin couldn’t answer her, but only continue to cry. It seemed to him that his mother’s own grief was adding to his own. The sight of his loved ones breaking down had now left Armin unable to speak._

_As she continued to sob, Armin’s vision of his surroundings began to flicker in and out. Crystal clear images floated across his sight, and it took Armin a moment to realize that he was seeing memories of himself as a kid._

_He first saw himself as a newborn, wailing in his mother’s arms as his other family members looked down on him with immense joy._

_That memory was soon replaced by a multitude of images from Armin’s childhood: his 1 st birthday party, Christmas with the rest of his family, he and his parents together at a park in the spring, and inevitably, the cabin retreat from that summer long ago, when hardly a single tear was shed by any of the Arlerts. The image of his mother and him sitting on the old wooden swing and watching the stars in the still summer night was the final scene he saw before the images faded out of focus._

_Armin couldn’t even wonder where these memories were coming from, the emotions they invoked were too powerful._

_As his mother continued to hold him and cry, she softly whispered “_ My baby...my baby…” _, and their surroundings began to gradually disappear. Armin knew that whatever was going on was coming to a close, and he clutched at his mother, aching for her to stay._

_“No!” he silently begged. “Please don’t leave me again!”_

_After a few more moments, everything completely faded away, and the tragic paradise ended._


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own the lyrics to "Shinjitsu no Uta". The song belongs to Do As Infinity.

Armin woke up as daylight filled his room to the brim. He could feel tears drying on his cheeks, and, with a pang of sadness, he felt the echo of his mother’s embrace still holding him tight. In the back of his mind, Armin could hear her gentle voice still whispering _“My baby…my baby…”_ and fading away.

_“Mom…Dad…Grandma…I’m not alone. I was never alone.”_

His phone lit up, and Armin grimaced as he recognized his reminder to meet with his RHD, Levi. Though Armin had never met him, he knew that Levi was an extremely intimidating person who didn’t put up with any crap.

_“I have to get down to his office. I can’t stay here and be afraid of Kayla.”_

It took him less time than usual to get ready, due to his nervousness. After what seemed like only a few minutes, Armin had his hand gripping the door handle, urging himself to go downstairs.

He took a deep breath, and walked out the door.

* * *

  _“A-Armin?”_

_He was sitting on the floor of his room, cradling himself as tears began to spill down his cheeks. Annie could hear an ominous voice echoing around the room as Armin’s composure quickly crumbled._

_“…now, I’ve had enough!” she heard him snarl, as the voice rose to a horrible roar._

_His head snapped back, and Annie recoiled as Armin let out a demonic shriek that filled the entire room with its awful sound._

_Before she could make a move, a tall woman shrouded in an ebony robe appeared before her, wearing a look of hatred so intense that Annie nearly collapsed from fright. The woman seized her arms with a death-like grip, and bellowed in Annie’s face as Armin’s shriek went on and on._

**_“THEY WILL BURN!”_ **

* * *

 Annie snapped up in bed, her heart pounding as her three roommates looked at her in confusion, Mikasa in the bed next to hers, and the two lovers almost out the door. Once again, Annie was the last girl in the room to get up, her reputation as the deepest sleeper being known in their whole dorm.

“Well damn,” Ymir said snidely. “And I thought **my** nightmares were intense.”

They left, Krista sending Annie a worried look over her shoulder as they departed.

Mikasa looked quietly at Annie as the other girl tried to calm down, Armin’s scream and what the terrifying woman had bellowed still echoing. Her attempts to calm herself down were failing, the knowledge that she had been face-to-face with an otherworldly being shaking her to the core.

 _“What happened to Armin?”_ she thought. _“It sounded like he snapped!”_

_“That…that was way too vivid to be a dream!”_

“Annie?” Mikasa asked her as Annie continued to breathe heavily, “What’s wrong?”

Annie made herself slow down, and look Mikasa dead in the eye.

“Something’s happened to Armin.”

Mikasa gave her a confused look, and Annie repeated herself with much more ferocity “Something’s happened to Armin!”

“How do you know that?”

“Don’t ask me how I know, just help him!”

Her roommate grabbed her phone and called Armin, but to no avail. After calling him several times, Mikasa began to panic. Annie watched as she dialed Eren’s number next, beginning to sweat as terror took ahold of her.

“Eren! I need you to go find Armin! Annie told me that…that something’s happened to him, but Armin won’t answer his phone.”

Annie heard Eren’s startled mumbling, and thought _“I need to find him too.”_

“I don’t know, go look for him at the bookstore, he might be working. And hurry, Eren!”

She ended the call, and told Annie “Eren’s going to look for him. But Annie, what on earth did you see in that nightmare?”

Annie shuddered and said “You really don’t want to know. I can’t confidently say that I had a dream…I really think that what I saw was real, it was so vivid.”

“But I will tell you this: we need to get Armin out of that dorm.”

* * *

 Armin shifted around in his chair uncomfortably as Levi’s cold eyes bored into him, seizing him up as the two guys and Hannah sat together in the RHD office. This meeting had been delayed for far too long, and there was a palpable sensation of anxiety choking the air in the room.

“Tell me what’s going on, kid” Levi commanded. “I want to know every last detail of what these girls have done to you. Hold nothing back.”

Armin gulped, and he noticed out of the corner of his eye how sad Hannah looked.

 _“Guess I shouldn’t be so shocked,”_ he mused. _“She’s probably thinking that this is all her fault…”_

He took a deep breath before speaking.

“There are these girls on my dorm floor who’ve been deliberately mistreating me” he began, watching Levi’s gaze harden. “Two girls have been leaving awful messages about me around the floor, and have been stalking me outside the restroom too. I didn’t understand why they were doing what they did until recently, when they got openly homophobic.”

“I’m only now reporting this because I thought that being quiet would make it stop.”

Levi groaned and muttered “That’s what they all think.”

“Kid, you should’ve reported this the instant it happened. I’m not saying that this is your fault, but something could’ve been done sooner if you had just spoken up.”

“Sorry,” Armin muttered sheepishly.

“What do I do now?”

Levi leaned back in his chair and told him “Your best option would be to change dorms. I can’t imagine why you’d want to stay here any longer.”

Hannah looked at Armin despondently as they waited for him to reply. Armin was getting even more flustered as Levi’s gaze bore into him. Even though he knew that Sansburg Hall could no longer be called “home”, the very idea of leaving and admitting that to everybody around him was vile.

“I really don’t want to leave,” he told them. “I’m certain that if this gets resolved, staying here won’t be an issue.”

There was dead silence as Levi gave him a look of near disdain.

“You really want to stay here that badly? There’s nothing for you here, only more crap.”

“No, really, I don’t mind staying.”

Levi sighed and told him “Fine. But let me know if you change your mind.”

Armin beamed and said “Will do.”

He got up and left, leaving Hannah and Levi to themselves. Hannah looked at Levi as the RHD ruffled his hair, gritting his teeth in frustration. The anxious feeling in the room was still present, and had now increased with Levi’s sudden aggravation.

“Er…Levi?” she asked him. “Why do you look so pissed?”

“Either that kid’s delusional or he was downright lying” he spat.

“Assuming that everything he told me is accurate, this shit will only get worse. Him staying here is dangerous.”

Hannah blinked in confusion.

“How is that dangerous?”

Levi looked her in the eye and asked “Didn’t you see the look in his eyes?”

“N-no! All I saw was him being nervous.”

“That’s not nervousness, that’s paranoia. That kid is too on edge to be here anymore.”

“What are you saying?” Hannah asked him, bewildered at the direction the talk was going.

Levi looked at where Armin had been sitting, and shook his head. The RHD was giving off an air of reminiscence.

“You don’t understand, Hannah. I know that look. That’s the look of somebody who’s been hurt so much that they’ve gone completely over the edge. If those girls hurt him again…no, if they even lay a finger on him, the way he is now…

“… **there’s no doubt that he’ll try to kill them.** ”

* * *

 Armin rummaged around the front desk of the bookstore, trying to keep calm after his meeting with Levi. His RHD had seemed so intent on him leaving the dorm. Armin knew that Levi had good intentions, but he couldn’t help being shaken by how near-desperate his tone had been.

_“Did he go through something similar to my issue?”_

At that moment, the doors to the bookstore banged open, and Eren came dashing towards him, exhausted and sweaty. It looked like he had ran as fast as he could.

“Armin!” he shouted, panting and trying to get a hold of himself. “What happened to you? Mikasa told me that Annie had a horrible nightmare about something bad happening to you! Why didn’t you tell us something was wrong?”

Armin gulped, and was about to say something when his manager came clomping towards the two friends, anger etched all over her features.

“How **dare** you come storming in here like that!” she snarled at Eren. “What is your problem, young man?”

“My problem…” Eren hissed, his own anger flashing, “is that somebody’s hurt Armin!”

“What?”

She looked at Armin, her anger turning to horror. “What is he talking about, Armin?”

_“Oh crap. The cat’s really out of the bag now.”_

With his best friend and manager watching him, Armin shuddered and looked away from them, feeling intense shame for not speaking to them sooner.

“Those girls I told you about…they got worse. A lot worse. I tried to ignore it as long as I could, but recently, just a few days ago, this one girl’s boyfriend called me…he called me…”

The eyes of Eren and Armin’s manager narrowed ominously, and Armin barely managed to make himself finish.

“…he called me a ‘cock-sucking faggot’…”

Eren let out an animalistic shriek of rage, and for the first time ever, Armin heard his manager swear violently.

The other patrons in the store whirled around and gawked at the sight before them. Armin was trembling with anxiety, knowing that the anger he was seeing was inevitable. Eren’s notoriously hot temper was now blazing for the whole store to see, and his manager’s equally cold contempt was seething along with it.

“I wanted to avoid calling them homophobes because I didn’t think I had proof, but now, it’s obvious that yeah, they really do hate me because I’m gay. After that happened, I heard the girl screaming awful things like…like God won’t protect me because I’m gay, that I deserve to die, and…”

Eren reached over the desk, yanked Armin out of his chair and crushed him in an intense bear hug that nearly cracked Armin’s rib cage. Armin could feel Eren shaking with a terrible anger, and could hear his manager starting to weep behind him.

“I’ll kill them!” Eren spat, freaking out the other customers even more. “I’ll find them and tear them limb-from-limb for what they’ve done to you!”

“Armin” he heard his manager whisper, “I’m so sorry.”

In Eren’s arms, Armin lay still, wiped out and without the energy to do anything else. He hugged Eren back and let his friend keep him in the tight embrace until his manager spoke up.

“Have you told anybody about this?”

Armin gently separated himself from Eren, who was on the verge of angry tears, and told her “I talked to my RHD this morning. There’s a possibility that I might be moving out, but I’d rather not do that unless absolutely necessary.”

Eren grabbed him and said “Armin, don’t be ridiculous! You stay there any longer, you’ll just get hurt again!”

Armin looked up at him and said “Eren, it could take a whole week for the paperwork to get finished before I can move out. And besides, we’re ¾ done with the year now. I don’t think there’s any rooms left.”

His manager told him sharply “No. You can’t possibly know about that unless you ask them to move you out.”

Armin looked at her and muttered “But-“

“No ‘buts’! Get rid of your pride and admit that you need to get out of there! Look, sweetie, I get it, you’re nervous about the possible barriers. But even so, you know as well as we do that if you stay there any longer, things will only get worse.”

Armin groaned, knowing that she was right. His manager had hit the nail on the head perfectly. Even though he wasn’t the most stubborn of people, Armin didn’t want to leave because he felt that in a way, he would be admitting a defeat of sorts to everybody that hated him.

Eren said to him “I’ll let Mikasa know that I found you. Armin, you know that me, Mikasa and the others have your back, don’t you? You know that we’ll easily get you out of there, right?”

“Yeah…”

“Then stop being wishy-washy! Tell your RHD that you need to get out of there!”

“Please, Armin!” his manager joined in, looking incredibly anxious. “You can’t let this go on any longer!”

Finally, their words got to him. Armin gritted his teeth and told them “Ok. I’ll do it. I just can’t help feeling so scared about all of this.”

“What are you afraid of?” Eren asked him.

“That somebody will try to stop me from leaving. I don’t even think that I’m being irrational here. You two can’t possibly understand how insane these people are!”

His manager scoffed and told him “If they try to stop you, then you’d better believe that I’ll report them to the campus police.”

Eren snarled and shouted “I’ll never let them touch you! They try to lay one finger on you, they’re dead meat!”

Armin managed to smile and said “Ok then. I’ll let Levi know I want to move out.”

Both Eren and his manager breathed a huge sigh of relief, and Eren told him “Good. I’ll let Mikasa know. I gotta go Armin, but you need to see me and Mikasa tonight. She’s worried sick about you.”

Armin nodded, and watched as Eren walked out of the shop, with several customers looking at him with terror. His manager patted him on the shoulder and steered him towards the back of the store, away from the ensuing gossip.

“Go ahead and email him now before you forget,” she said to Armin, clearly not wanting him to back out.

He took out his phone, and gulped when he saw how many missed calls he had from Mikasa.

_“Eren wasn’t kidding…”_

Within a few minutes, he had sent an email to RHD Levi, and Armin felt a strange sense of confidence fill him up.

               “Levi,

               I’ve decided that yes, I would like to leave Sansburg Hall. You were right, it isn’t good for me to stay here any longer.

               If possible, I would prefer being moved to Wickson Hall, my old hall from last year. I never had to put up with any cruelty over there.

               I’m sorry that I held off on this request. Thank you again for helping me.

              

               Sincerely,

              Armin Arlert”

* * *

 Armin watched Annie stumble into their Japanese class late, looking just as stressed as he had been last night. When she sat down next to him, he watched her fidget nonstop, constantly tapping her fingers impatiently as the class dragged on. None of their classmates seemed to be aware of his exhaustion or her agitation.

After what seemed like multiple hours of waiting, the two friends darted off to the side hallway, and Annie grabbed his arm, desperate for Armin to talk to her.

“What happened to you this weekend, Armin?” she began, her nerves still on edge. “Helen told me that you never called her back a few nights ago! On top of that, I had…the worst nightmare about you screaming in rage and-“

The instant Annie mentioned that scene, Armin gulped and mumbled “How did you dream about that? And I’m really sorry…I didn’t want her or anybody else to freak out.”

Annie gasped and asked him “You mean that was real?”

“Y-yeah. I, uh, lost my temper I guess.”

“But what pushed you that far, Armin? Please, tell me!”

He shuddered and looked away from her, feeling anxious at finally unveiling what he had been hiding for days.

“A few weeks ago, everything started to escalate. Kayla and her friend stalked me while I was in the bathroom cleaning my face, saying horrible things about me and my…habits. After that, I couldn’t walk around because that whole group was singling me out, with multiple girls screaming insults and taunting me.”

Annie’s face slowly transformed into a hideous mask of malice as Armin continued.

“The next night, on my way back from grabbing dinner, Kayla was watching me from within her room. When I got to my door, she stood in the doorway, laughing at me and showing me to a guy on her video chat. He…called me a…’cock-sucking’…”

Armin couldn’t bring himself to finish the insult. Annie snarled “This is the excuse I needed to massacre those c--ts. Did anything else happen?”

Ignoring the ugly emotions rising up in him at the memory, Armin muttered “When I got inside, Kayla was screaming loud enough for me to hear that God doesn’t protect gay guys, that He would never love scum like me, that...I’ll go to Hell once she’s finished with me.”

“She’s mine” Annie spat, and Armin knew that his best friend was already plotting how to kill Kayla and the others.

“You are **not** going to Hell, Armin” she told him, “and while I might not be big on God like you are…I know that He loves you. Don’t believe her lies.”

“I know that. Just…why…”

“She’s a sicko. That’s all there is to it.”

He nodded, and felt a new wave of exhaustion hit him. Armin steadied himself against the wall, and Annie gave him a look of intense pity and worry.

“Armin, you look…it’s obvious that this has been draining on you.”

“I feel like everything’s been blowing up in just the last few days…and…”

Annie watched him closely, as Armin barely managed to raise his head back up to look at her.

“…Annie, I’m so **tired**...”

There was a pause of silence as Armin’s words registered with Annie. An instant later, Annie’s face became contorted with a look of horror and agony that Armin had never seen. Her jaw had dropped wide open, and Armin watched in shock as tears began to pool at the edges of her eyes.

Before he could ask her what was wrong, Annie grabbed his hand, wailed “ **Never-again!”** and yanked him along the hall, nearly running towards the exit of their building. As he tried to keep up with her, Armin heard her breathing rapidly, and realized that whatever he had said was making her remember something awful.

_“But all I said was that I’m tired. So why…why does she look so horrified?”_

“Annie?! What’s-“

“I made a promise, Armin,” she nearly snapped at him, not looking back. “And I’ll be damned if this monster named Kayla makes me break it.”

She said nothing else, and all Armin could do was struggle to match her pace.

The door at the end of the hall opened, and to Armin’s horror, Shane appeared. To his chagrin, the traitor immediately recognized him, snarled, and started rapidly advancing towards him and Annie. Armin shuddered, already picturing what would happen if a guy with Shane’s strength got his hands on a petite frame like his.

Annie whipped her head around, saw the terror written all over Armin’s features, and hissed in hatred. She let go of Armin’s hand, and broke into a dash towards the incoming threat.

“ **DON’T FUCKING TOUCH HIM, YOU PIECE OF SHIT!”** she shrieked, flying through the air and landing a powerful kick to Shane’s crotch.

He instantly crumpled and yelled in agony, and Annie took the chance to spit on his face.

“Let’s go, Armin!” she shouted, seeing that Armin had frozen in surprise. “You’ll stay with me until Eren and Mikasa find us!”

Armin darted up to her, pausing to glare into Shane’s eyes, remembering the malice with which the bigger guy had said that awful insult.

 _“Serves you right, jerk,”_ Armin thought, letting himself sneer down at the guy who had broken his heart so badly.

He and Annie continued to walk briskly out of the building, taking a moment to breathe once they were far enough away.

“I need you-to text them both. Tell them that you’re with me-that you’re safe” Annie said between breathes, still shaking with rage after that encounter. “And tell them to meet us at the library. We need to make a plan to get you out of Sansburg Hall.”

“Ok” he said meekly, scared at how quickly Annie had taken Shane down, who was easily twice their size. Armin sent Eren and Mikasa a quick message, and hoped that they wouldn’t run into any other scumbags.

* * *

 The four friends were seated together in the uppermost floor of their school’s library, whispering among themselves as they planned their counterattack. Eren, Mikasa and Annie were all seething with an intense bloodlust, frightening the people around them. Armin shuddered, knowing that all three were ready to commit atrocities in revenge for what had happened to him. Once his friends had heard him describe the details of what had happened to him, all three of them were aching to find Kayla and end her.

“Armin, did your RHD email you back?” Mikasa asked him, her fists clenched.

“Let me look” he told her, with worry over a potential stalling of his freedom blocking out all other thoughts.

A new email from Levi was at the top of his inbox.

 

“Armin,

It’s about time. Wickson Hall, huh? Fine. There are actually plenty of openings, probably from all the drunkards who got kicked off campus. Come to my office tomorrow morning so we can choose a room and take care of the paperwork. I’m moving you out of Sansburg tomorrow.

And for goodness’ sake, if anything happens, call the police and don’t be silent.

Levi”

 

Armin read out the message, relief filling him up as his friends sighed together.

“Good,” Annie muttered, looking tired herself from her outbursts earlier that day. “I’m happy for you Armin. But jeez, that usually doesn’t happen so fast.”

“Levi must’ve pushed my request to the top” he replied, reminding himself to thank his RHD in the morning.

Eren growled low in his throat and said to him “I’m going with you! And when I see these girls, I’ll slaughter them!”

Mikasa joined in before Armin could say anything and spat “I’m going too! I’ll bash their bigoted heads in!”

 _“Not good!”_ Armin thought, already picturing their rampage in his mind, knowing how much of a berserker Eren was in a fight, and the terrifying skills that Mikasa had hidden up her sleeve.

“Guys, wait! You can’t kill anybody, that would be-“

“That would be the wrong thing to do right now.”

Everybody turned to Annie, who had seemingly gone back on her previous death threats.

“Let me go instead,” she said to Eren and Mikasa, who was watching her roommate warily. “It’s clear to me that you two aren’t thinking rationally right now.”

“Rationally? What the hell does that have to do with anything?!” Eren snapped at her. “And you want to kill them as much as we do!”

“Don’t you remember the dorm rules? Any resident who lets in people who damage the building or hurt other residents receives the same punishment as the perpetrators.”

A groan came out of Mikasa, who was already realizing what Annie was getting at.

“If any of us go to Sansburg with Armin and kill these girls, then he’ll get punished with us” Annie said to Eren. “Don’t get me wrong, I fully intend to destroy them, but that can’t happen while Armin still lives there.”

_“It’s true. I didn’t even consider that…”_

There was a moment of silence as the other three considered Annie’s warning. Mikasa was still glaring at Annie, who was looking at Armin with empty eyes. Eren seemed sheepish after being told about the hall rules. All 4 of them vaguely knew the dorm rules that warned of automatic punishment if a resident aided a criminal in carrying out an offense.

“No, Mikasa…I’m not trying to take Armin for myself.” Annie sighed in exasperation after seeing the irritation in her roommate’s eyes.

“What? I didn’t say-“

“It’s written all over your face. I promise you that I won’t let anything happen to Armin while I’m with him. If anybody **does** try to hurt him while I help him move out…”

Her face darkened, and the rest of the group shuddered in unison as Annie’s bloodlust suddenly surged.

“…then I won’t hesitate to obliterate them from the face of the earth.”

* * *

 After the talk was over, Eren and Mikasa headed off to their halls, giving Armin warm embraces and assuring him that they would help him through his transition.

“Please don’t hesitate to tell me if anything happens, ok?” Mikasa begged Armin, gritting her teeth at the thought of him getting hurt again.

“I’ll let you know,” Armin assured her. “…and I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you and Eren sooner.”

Annie and Armin stood together outside the library, watching the other two fade into the distance.

“Let’s go, Armin. Tell me everything about this Kayla while we walk.”

Armin gulped and began to describe the girl who had caused him so much agony.

“I first thought that Kayla didn’t like my appearance. She wouldn’t stop giving me this weird look, like I was a freak. When that whole group turned on me, she seemed focused on expressing her ‘superiority’ to me.”

Armin watched Annie’s face harden as they walked.

“Initially, I was confused because she had all the markings of a college Christian…she wears religious stuff, I heard her say that she went to a Christian high school-“

“Wearing a cross and attending a religious school doesn’t make you a Christian, Armin.”

“I-I know,” he said sheepishly, averting his gaze.

Annie looked at him with pity and gently asked him “Did you believe the same about that blonde guy we ran into earlier today?”

He nodded, and sighed bitterly.

“I’m sorry, Armin.”

“No, I’m sorry. You warned me not to chase after guys like him, just because he looks like that guy from my dream. I should’ve known better than to have feelings for somebody like him.”

She shook her head and told him “You can’t help having feelings for somebody, Armin. Crushes are only human. You just let yourself get carried away, that’s all.”

Night had fallen on campus, and the air had frozen up. In mid-February, the snow had reached ridiculous heights, and the temperature had dropped 20 degrees entirely. The two of them were shivering against the cold, and they could see around them that other students were all bundled up too.

“Now go on.”

“This girl…Annie, I think there’s something wrong with her. In her head, I mean. She was obsessed with me! It was like she had made it her mission to make me unhappy...”

“She does sound like she has issues. That’s disgusting, though.”

Annie’s brow furrowed for a moment and she said “You know, this girl you’re describing…she sounds too much like the trash at my high school. You see, I actually went to a Christian high school. Dad thought it would be better for me. But those halls were swarming with horrible people who, shall we say, were always looking for somebody to devour.”

She shook her head and told Armin “For her sake, I hope she isn’t from my school. Because if she’s at all related to the c—t I’m thinking of, then I won’t show her any mercy.”

Armin looked up with dread to see that they were back at Sansburg Hall, the building looming up into the gloom of the evening. It no longer felt like his home, but rather a prison, with Kayla and the other girls as his jail keepers.

“Don’t be afraid, Armin. I swear I won’t let them hurt you.”

They ascended the stairs together, Armin’s heart pounding as they drew closer to the fourth floor. When they reached the door to his floor, Armin felt himself quaking. Annie placed her hand on his shoulder, and nodded at him. He opened the door, and they stepped into the main hallway.

Not a single person was in sight, and both of them looked at each other warily.

“This doesn’t feel right,” Annie muttered, looking around her for any signs of movement. “It’s not that late out. Why aren’t there people walking around here?”

Armin shuddered, the scene reminding him of his move in day. Once again, his floor had become a ghost town.

They were about to round the corner when Armin froze, remembering when Kayla had shown up in her doorframe, laughing at him and allowing her boyfriend to say what he had. Annie noticed his nervousness and nodded.

“Her room…it’s just down the hall, isn’t it?”

“Yep. Ugh…”

“Don’t worry, Armin. You’re with me.”

They walked towards Armin’s room, and Annie asked him “Which room is hers?”

At that moment, a shadow appeared under Kayla’s door at the far end of the hall. The two of them stiffened, and Annie growled low in her throat. Armin was filled with an intense contempt, and he slowly pointed his finger at Kayla’s door, glaring where the peephole was.

“That’s her,” he told Annie, livid at the thought of Kayla coming out to harass him again.

Annie snarled and spat “Godless pig!”

Armin knew that Kayla had heard Annie. A moment later, the shadow under the door disappeared. He breathed a sigh of relief, and Annie hissed “Keep away from him, you damned bitch!”

The two of them stood in the hallway, waiting to see if Kayla’s shadow would appear again. After a few minutes, it was apparent that they were safe.

Armin turned to Annie and told her “Thanks for escorting me back. I’ll be ok now.”

“You sure?” Annie’s face was etched with worry again.

“Yeah, I’m sure. Don’t worry about me, Annie. I’m not alone here.”

To his shock, a flash of terror showed on Annie’s face for a brief moment, before vanishing the next moment. Armin brushed it off, thinking that she was just anxious for him.

“All right, Armin. Anything happens, text me, and I’ll descend on this floor like a fire-breathing dragon.”

“Thank you, Annie.”

They hugged, and Annie walked back down the stairs out of sight. Armin went to his room, and mentally prepared himself for a long night of packing.

* * *

 In her room, Kayla sat on her bed, still terrified at the sight of the woman in black.

When she had heard the footsteps in the hall, she had assumed that the gay boy had returned, and she had reveled in the chance to spook him again. But when she pressed her eye to the peephole, she instead saw that disturbing woman robed in black pointing right at her, with raw malice somehow emanating from her.

To make matters worse, **she** was with the woman. The girl from high school whom Kayla and everybody else had feared so much, because of that girl’s constant rage at everything they tried to do.

 _“Why the hell is she here? And who was that woman?”_ Kayla thought, sweat trickling down her cheeks. _“Where is that freak? I swear I heard him open his door! So why couldn’t I see him in the hall?”_

Her anger flared when she heard loud movements in his room down the hall. The sound of bags rustling and clothes being folded filled her with irritation.

_“What?! Is he packing his things?”_

_“No! He can’t possibly be leaving this dorm! I WON’T LET HIM!”_

Kayla moved to her door, and gripped the handle, ready to yank it open and terrorize Armin outside his room. After knowing how shaken he had been after haunting him outside of the restroom, she knew that hissing threats outside of his own room would frighten the boy out of his skin.

**_“Just where do you think you’re going, whelp?”_ **

She froze, her hand still on the handle.

“Who the hell-“

**_“Do you really think that you can stop that boy from leaving?”_ **

Kayla’s nostrils flared, and she spat “Shut it! There’s no way that I’m letting him get out of here! He’s **mine**!”

The voice laughed lowly, and Kayla felt shudders running up and down her spine.

**_“You stupid girl. You really do believe that you have the power to prevent this escape plan from unfolding. How utterly PITIFUL.”_ **

“What do you know about me?!” Kayla retorted, trying to fight off her rising terror.

**_“I know that you’re responsible for the loss of three innocents, three children who were sent your way to free you from your own darkness. I know that your heart is ruled by fear, and that in your fear, you had these children exterminated to soothe your pathetic pride. I know that you aimed to have this boy end his own life, so that his immense light would no longer agitate your pathetic darkness. You are the ultimate coward, and now, you will pay the price!”_ **

There was nobody in the room with her, and Kayla couldn’t stop herself from quaking with fear. She knew that there wasn’t somebody on the other side of the door whispering to her. This voice was entirely inside her head, and no thoughts she conjured could silence it.

“I won’t listen to you! You’re trying to fill me with doubt, and I won’t let you!” Kayla fumbled around her pockets, and whipped out her cross chain, gripping it tight and wishing desperately for her next actions to banish her tormentor.

“In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, I command you to disappear, demon!” she intoned, closing her eyes and willing for the command to work.

Instead, she was answered with more horrible laughter, and Kayla felt the hairs on the back of her neck stiffening.

**_“You think that I am a demon, do you? You poor creature. Don’t waste your breath asking the One who sent me to take me away. You lost the integrity to call on that name a long time ago.”_ **

“No! That’s not possible! I’m one of the most faithful Christians I know of!”

_“This is bad…why isn’t the voice going away?!”_

More rustling could be heard from Armin’s room, and Kayla gritted her teeth in frustration. She couldn’t move any part of her body; it seemed that she wasn’t just paralyzed from fear. There was nothing in sight that could’ve been the culprit, and Kayla knew that something hidden was holding her back.

**_“You? Faithful? You call your bloodlust and murderous intentions FAITH?”_ **

In the back of her mind, Kayla saw images of the people that she had successfully wiped from the face of the earth: the two gay boys and that girl who had so vainly believed that she had had the right to be so open about her sexuality.

Kayla snarled and spat back “They deserved to die! All freaks like them deserve to be purged from the Earth! That’s what the Word says!”

Suddenly, Kayla was thrown across the room, hitting her bedframe and instantly bruising half of her body. She cried aloud in pain as the voice’s tone became a roar.

**_“LIAR! YOU TWISTED THE CREEDS FOR YOUR OWN SICK PURPOSES! EACH OF THOSE POOR CHILDREN WERE BELOVED, AND IN YOUR JEALOUSY, YOU MURDERED THEM WHILE HIDING BEHIND YOUR ‘FAITH’! YOU MADE YOUR MOTHER’S HATRED YOUR OWN, GLEEFULLY WATCHING AS THEY SUFFERED AND PERISHED! YOU HAVE NO REMORSE, NO PITY FOR THE DEATH YOU’VE CAUSED, AND FOR THAT, YOU SHALL PAY THE PRICE!”_ **

Even though there was visibly nobody in the room with her, Kayla could feel the terrifying force pressing on her whole body, preventing her from moving a muscle. All she could do was whimper as the voice, which sounded womanly but sinister, continue to shriek at her.

**_“WRETCHED WORM! DON’T BOTHER DENYING THIS TRUTH! NOW, YOUR MISERABLE LIES WON’T SAVE YOU! YOUR DOOM BEGAN THE INSTANT YOU PUSHED THAT BOY OVER THE EDGE!”_ **

The image of Armin shrieking in rage returned at that threat, and Kayla shuddered violently.

“No…no! This can’t be happening…”

All around her, the woman’s cold laughter echoed.

**_“All you can do now is watch as Armin Arlert is freed from the prison you tried so hard to create. Isn’t it a pity? Isn’t it a shame that in all your supposed terror, nothing can faze that boy? Poor little girl. Poor little wretch with nobody to turn to!”_ **

All Kayla could do was scream in anger as the noises in Armin’s room gradually died down.

* * *

 After hours of rummaging through his belongings and filling multiple trash bags, Armin was finally finished with packing up his room, besides a few toiletries and sheets that could wait for the morning.

_“It’s still hard to believe that I’m getting out of here so fast…but I’m grateful. God is good. And there’s nothing that Kayla can do to me now!”_

His computer was open, playing Shinjitsu no Uta as his background while he packed up. Armin yawned, and realized that it was past 3 in the morning.

_“Wow! Well, time does fly by when you’re having fun. Or packing your room up.”_

As the song continued to play, Armin thought back to that time months ago, when Annie had slyly asked him if he really understood what the song was about. Armin glanced at his computer, knowing that it would take just one search to find the lyrics.

When he typed the song into his search engine, a website with the lyrics quickly popped up. For some reason, Armin felt incredibly nervous about discovering what his favorite song was about.

_“Well, no time like the present.”_

After he clicked on the link, he read through the translation slowly, gradually realizing that he had been listening to far deeper a song than he had originally thought.

 

_“If eternity knows what manner of darkness_

_and when pain will disappear,_

_then that way, you will taint me._

_In the past, I always looked to the castle in the clouds._

_When can I finally follow them?_

_This song of truth will be my guide.”_

 

Armin gawked at the screen, shock filling him as the accuracy of the lyrics hit him like a truck.

_“I…I needed this so badly. It’s true, no pain will last forever. I wish I had looked this up sooner.”_

_“And I need to go to sleep. I’ll need plenty of rest for what happens tomorrow.”_

He shut off his laptop and clambered into bed, gripping the sheets and aching to be freed from Sansburg Hall at last.

The last thing he remembered before falling asleep was his mother’s tearful embrace from the previous night’s dream, and Armin’s resolve flared once more.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own the lyrics to "Shinjitsu no Uta". The song belongs to Do As Infinity.

The next day, Armin was back in Levi’s office, nervously watching as the RHD clicked through his computer, scanning the screen for information regarding Armin’s new room. Hannah was away, waiting for Levi’s command to join Armin for the final room closing procedures. Earlier that day, he had sent Helen an apology text for ignoring her call. As he figured, the kind woman had understood and wished him a quick transition to Wickson Hall.

“Well, like I said, a ton of spots are open in Wickson Hall” Levi said, looking at the list of available rooms. “Probably cause all of those drunkard freshmen got kicked off the campus.”

“So I can move back to Wickson then?” Armin asked him.

“Obviously. Do you have a room preference?”

“Uh…no, not really.”

“Fine then. I’ll put you in room 327.”

Armin gasped, and Levi gave him a questioning look.

“What is it?”

“That’s my old room from last year!” Armin told him, remembering the goofy times he had been through with his roommate Jean.

“Is that a problem?” Levi asked him, a hint of annoyance in his tone.

“No, not really. I’m just surprised, that’s all.”

“Fine then. I don’t know kid, I looked at this one and I guess I got a good feeling about it.”

_“Jean won’t be expecting a roommate, especially one in the next 24 hours. I’ll need to tell him.”_

Levi yawned and said “Well, all that’s left is for me to get this assignment finished, and for you to take care of the paperwork on your end. All you gotta do is move out, then have Hannah approve your room for closing.”

“Ok. Thank you, Levi.”

“Yup.”

* * *

 After his meeting with Levi, Armin took his phone and sent Jean a message, hoping that he would be understanding.

_“Hey, Jean! Uh, I hope you’ve been well. This is going to be a bit of a shock, but because of recent events, I’m moving back into room 327 with you.”_

After a few moment, he got a reply back.

_“Woah dude, what?? I mean, I hope you’re ok, but where the hell is this coming from?”_

_“Eh, you see, I’ve dealt with…harassment this whole time in Sansburg, and now that my RHD knows, he intends to move me out of here tonight. He chose our room because it seemed fitting to him. Sorry for the short notice, I really wish I could’ve told you sooner.”_

_“Geez. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not mad at you, but I’m pissed that I didn’t get a heads up sooner. I’ll try to get my mess organized for you, ok?”_

Armin sighed in relief.

_“Thank you Jean!”_

_“Of course. But Armin, what happened to you? Who the fuck harassed you? You’re too good of a person for that to happen to you!! I’m gonna bust some heads when this is all over!!!”_

_“Eh, homophobes.”_

There was a pause before he got a reply.

_“Armin, I’m so sorry.”_

_“I’m ok, Jean. Well, I’m recovering, anyway.”_

_“Make sure you tell me everything when you move back in, ok?”_

_“I will.”_

_“I’ll see you later tonight, then.”_

_“Yeah, see you later.”_

* * *

 A few hours later, Armin went down to meet Annie in the lobby. His friend was all bundled up in winter gear, and tugging along a massive cart from the information desk. Her usual intensity was amplified, and Armin smirked at the terror he knew would be on those girls’ faces if they tried to come after him with his terrifying best friend by his side.

“Hey, Annie.”

“Hi Armin. Ready?”

“Yeah” he told her, aching for the day to be over with. “Let’s do this.”

The two took the elevator back up to the 4th floor, and when the elevator doors opened, they hurriedly walked out, looking around them for the girls. Not a single person was in sight, just like the previous night.

“Good. Any of those bitches come this way, they’re dead meat” Annie hissed, her blue eyes flaring like cold steel.

They walked to Armin’s room, and froze when they looked down the hall. Kayla’s room down the hall had a shadow under it, but this time, the shadow didn’t disappear. The wench was apparently watching the events unfold.

Armin and Annie looked each other in the eye, and nodded.

“It’s ok, Armin. I’m here. She wouldn’t be stupid enough to come out with me by your side.”

“I know. It’s just…” Armin whispered, already filling with apprehension.

“Knowing that she’s watching you is making you anxious, right?” Annie finished for him.

“…Yeah.”

“I understand. Let’s do this quickly, ok?”

The two of them quickly filled the cart with the majority of Armin’s luggage, leaving only a few items left for the second run. Armin closed the door, and the two of them started for the elevators. He listened cautiously, but Kayla seemed to be staying put in her room.

“By the way, my roommates wish you the best” Annie told him, gazing ahead as the elevators headed back for the ground floor. “Ymir and Krista feel your pain. It seems they both have gone through this as well.”

“They’re a couple, right?”

“Yup. Ymir is vicious about protecting Krista. It seems that even an angel like her has her fair share of homophobic idiots.”

Armin sighed and asked her as they continued to walk “Annie, why do people like me and Krista get targeted so much? We keep trying to be nice to everybody, but lately, all I seem to be getting is hate!”

She looked at him with pity and said “All I can think of, Armin, is that they hate you for your kindness, since they don’t have any. Maybe compassion really is an alien concept to them.”

They walked outside the dorm into the freezing February air, both of them pulling their coats close to their bodies. After what seemed like an hour, Wickson hall rose into the air in front of them. Armin felt a pang of longing for his old floor, remembering how friendly his old floor mates had been with each other.

Annie looked at him and told him “Hang in there, Armin. You’ll be moved back to your old room soon enough.”

“Annie, this feels so much like a waking dream” he said, still looking up at the hall. “I feel like the instant I realized that I needed help, everything suddenly got so much better for me…”

An odd smile played across Annie’s face and she mused “Well Armin, I suppose you would call this ‘the hand of God’, right?”

“I suppose so.”

She chuckled and murmured “Still, you have a point. Normally, it takes weeks to get a move-out complete, but you’re getting out of Sansburg in not even a week. You’re awfully lucky.”

It began to snow lightly, small white flakes swirling around them. Armin thought back to his dream of his deceased loved ones comforting him, and he pondered over the realness of their appearances.

“Hey, Annie,” he mumbled, as they walked through the dancing snowflakes, “have you ever had a dream where somebody you loved that died came back to speak with you?”

She blinked in surprise and replied “Yeah, actually I have. When I was at my lowest points, the mother I never knew entered my dreams and held me close. There were also times when…”

Armin watched her face contort with emotion.

“…when my best friend from years ago visited me. She told me that everything would be ok, that we’ll see each other again…”

There was a moment of silence as Annie regained her composure. She looked at Armin and asked him “You had a dream like that recently, didn’t you?”

“Yeah. The night everything came crashing down for me…I had a dream were my grandma, dad and mom showed up one by one. They were all so sad. When my mom appeared, she was glowing with this awesome golden light. But she was heartbroken, Annie. All of them were weeping in my dream. I’ve never seen such grief in any of them before. Even with all of that sadness, the dream was what I needed to face the music.”

Annie nodded and told him “That sounds like a beautiful dream, Armin. Sounds to me like they’re watching over you, even now.”

They entered the hall, and took the elevator to the 3rd floor. The doors opened, and Armin breathed in relief at the sight of his old floor.

All around them, his old floor mates were walking around the hall, chatting idly about classes and the increasingly harsh winter weather. A few of them noticed Armin and Annie walking down the hall, and whispered to each other in shock.

“Dude, isn’t that Armin?”

“Yeah! I thought he moved out to Sansburg…”

“Is he coming back?”

“Man, he looks awful! It isn’t even time for midterms yet! What the hell happened to him?”

Annie glanced at Armin, and whispered to him “Come on, let’s get to your room.”

When they got there, the door was propped open, and Jean was standing in the doorway, looking awfully nervous.

“Uh, hey, Armin,” he said, trying not to sound awkward. “I was able to clean up a bit, so hopefully moving in won’t be an issue for you.”

“Thanks, Jean.”

The three of them quickly unloaded Armin’s belongings into the room, dumping them on the vacant bed. As they moved, Armin could see Jean shooting him anxious glances.

_“I didn’t tell him all the details. I’ll take care of that later.”_

Once the cart was emptied, Armin told Jean “Be back in a bit” and walked away with Annie and the cart in tow. After they walked out of the building, the pair picked up their pace, both wanting to finish the process as fast as possible.

“Your old roommate seems pretty chill” she told Armin, looking straight ahead. “Which is odd, since Mikasa tells me that he and Eren get into fights all the time.”

Armin giggled and said “Well, they’re both very hotheaded. But Jean’s always been a decent guy to me. He figured out pretty early that I’m gay, and he’s never had a problem with it. Though I gotta say, he had a **lot** of questions for me when I admitted my sexuality to him.”

“Interesting.”

It took them hardly any time to get back to the 4th floor of Sansburg hall, where the atmosphere hadn’t changed. The shadow at the bottom of Kayla’s door was still there, and Annie huffed in exasperation.

“Why the hell is that sicko still watching us? Is she waiting for something to happen?”

Armin gritted his teeth and muttered “No, I’m pretty sure that she’s watching us to entertain herself.”

_“Just like when she watched me come down the hall unsuspecting, so she could pull THAT…”_

At his room, they seized the last of Armin’s belongings, and made their way back downstairs. The hairs on the back of Armin’s neck were standing up, and he knew that Kayla was in her room, no doubt enjoying every second of his departure.

When they made it over to Wickson again, Jean helped them pull out the remainder of the belongings. He looked behind the pair and shouted “Hey, Marco!”

“Hey, Jean!…Armin?!”

Armin and Annie turned around and saw Marco, a tall and lean brunette covered head to toe in freckles, gawking down at them. Marco was one of Armin’s floor mates who had been especially amicable. Armin was dead certain that Marco was also gay, but neither he nor Jean had ever asked him. Marco was Jean’s best friend, but the two had never discussed either’s sexuality. Armin had figured that Marco simply didn’t tell Jean because he never seemed to seriously consider admitting his truth. To Jean, Armin and the others, it had always been obvious from the get-go; but all of them, Jean and Armin especially, had always been supportive of him.

“Uh, hey Marco. Long time no see” Armin mumbled sheepishly.

“I didn’t think I’d ever see you here again, dude! How have you been?” Marco’s puppy-like nature was evidently still there.

Armin looked away and told him “Not that good, actually. I’ve had…problems with Sansburg Hall.”

Marco gave him a quizzical look and hesitantly asked him “…what kind of problems?”

“Homophobic problems,” Armin finally admitted, earning a grimace from Jean and a gasp from Marco.

“Why would you of all people have homophobes harassing you?” Marco blurted out, while Annie watched the freckled giant intently. “You’re the nicest guy I know!”

“They didn’t seem to care, dude. I’ll tell you everything later, I need to finish this quickly.”

Annie said to him and Jean “I’ll have him back here safe and sound in just a bit. Please be patient.”

The two of them walked away, hearing Marco mutter to Jean “Something bad happened to Armin, right? I’ve never seen him look so drained before…”

Back in the snow, Annie turned to him and said “Marco seems to be a lot like you. Except for the physical difference, you two are like peas in a pod.”

Armin laughed softly and said “I guess so. He’s always been super nice to everybody.”

Then he grimaced and told her “This is it, Annie. All that’s left is for Hannah to check over my room, and then…I’m free.”

“Why do you look so anxious about that? You should be nothing but relieved.”

Then her eyes widened in realization, and she said “Ah, you think that Kayla will try something once this is over, don’t you?”

“Yeah” he mumbled, feeling another wave of anxiety wash over him.

“I won’t let her touch you, Armin. This is almost over. Once this is finished, you’ll never have to come back here ever again. Let’s go.”

After Annie returned the cart to the information desk, they walked to Levi’s office, where he and Hannah were waiting expectantly. Hannah was looking at Armin with the same sad look as before. Levi watched them enter with a bored expression.

“Finished?” he asked Armin.

“Yeah.”

“Good. Hannah will go upstairs and make sure you didn’t screw up. Once that’s done, meet me back here so I can check over things with you. Then, you’re free to go.”

“Ok.”

Hannah said gently to him “Let’s go upstairs, Armin.”

The three of them took the elevator up together, and there was an awkward silence between them. Annie was looking at Hannah out of the corner of her eye, watching her expectantly. Armin knew that his RA was dealing with a great deal of inner turmoil from realizing that all of his torment had happened under her nose.

After another long pause, she turned to him and said “I’m so sorry, Armin. For everything. I let this happen to you, when I could’ve done something to stop them from hurting you.”

He looked at her with a kind smile and told her “It’s ok, Hannah. I’m not upset at you. You aren’t to blame for what happened to me, they are. Don’t be so hard on yourself.”

She sighed and muttered “Thank you. I just can’t believe that I never caught on to this sooner…”

 _“Probably because Kayla planned everything so that you wouldn’t know”_ he thought with another grimace.

The doors finally opened, and they reached room 415. Hannah took a quick look around, and once she was satisfied, she told Armin “You’re all set. Just sign the room-closing form here, and you’re finished.”

He quickly scrawled his signature on the paper, and handed it back to Hannah. She smiled at him, and said to him “I’ll miss you, Armin. I wish we had gotten to know each other under better circumstances. Even then, I’m glad I we met each other.”

Armin said to her “Same to you, Hannah” and watched his RA head back to the stairs, feeling sad for her as she descended down the steps.

Annie turned to him and said “We did it. You’re all set.”

He nodded and told her “This still doesn’t feel real, Annie. All of this crap got undone in just a few days. Knowing that I’m free from this place forever…it’s such a good feeling!”

She smiled up at him and said “I’m sure it is.”

They looked at the piece of cut-out paper with his name on it, which marked room 415 as his place of residence. Each of the rooms had been decorated with the tags at the start of the year. Armin glared at it, and tore it off the wall, crumpling it in his fist.

“I’m done with his place and everything I’ve suffered here. I’m going back to the place where I belong, and nobody will ever make that change!”

Annie proudly patted him on the back, and the two of them started back down the hall towards the stairs, when they heard two doors behind them open. Both of them froze in anticipation as the sounds of footsteps echoed back down the hall.

To Armin’s chagrin, he heard Kayla and Claire sniggering together.

“Aw, look, the gay boy’s all riled up! How scary!” they heard Kayla say.

Armin was about to turn around and snap at her, before Annie firmly gripped his hand and led him away to the stairs. Just before they started walking down, Armin spat under his breath “Good riddance, scumbag.”

* * *

 Elise watched her two best friends gossip about Armin’s departure, with a sneer on her face to make it look like she had the same opinion of the boy as them. In her mind, she was relieved that his torment was over.

_“I’m so glad that he managed to get out of here. If anything else had happened, I…”_

**_“You would’ve joined in with the rest of the filth and watched him suffer, like you have all this time.”_ **

She froze, realizing that she was the only person who had heard the voice. Next to her, Kayla and Claire were still cackling about what they had done.

_“That’s…that’s not…”_

**_“Not the truth? Child, this whole time, you willingly played your role in that boy’s pain, don’t deny that. Doing so with a remorseful heart doesn’t excuse you.”_ **

Elise bowed her head in shame, hoping that nobody was noticing her changing emotions. Kayla and Clair didn’t seem to notice or care that she was experiencing inner turmoil, as they went on and on about their hatred of Armin.

_“I’m sorry.”_

**_“I’m not the one you should be apologizing to.”_ **

_“I can explain…um…”_

**_“I already know. You don’t hate him at all. You never did. That much is clear. However, you let your heart be ruled by your fear of that wretch.”_ **

Whoever the voice belonged to, Elise knew that they had hit the nail on the head.

_“…yeah.”_

**_“Child, surely you knew that if you had made the right choice, had helped him instead of hurting him, you would’ve been protected like him? Or is your fear of that girl so intense that you couldn’t see any other route?”_ **

With a pang of anxiety, Elise recalled the times in high school when Kayla had brutally dehumanized other students, to the point that they were driven to suicide. When that had happened, just like the voice had said, she had done nothing to stop Kayla, despite her horror at her best friend’s cruelty, and knowing fully that her malice was wrong.

 **_“_ ** _You know my answer, don’t you?”_

**_“Yes. Ever since Kayla dragged you into her life, you’ve been unwilling to prevent her from hurting others, because you yourself were so frightened at the possibility of her turning on you. You let yourself be blinded by terror this whole time.”_ **

_“If you know the truth, why are you talking to me about this?”_

The voice sighed, and told her  ** _“To make you understand that your heart is in turmoil, and that it’s time to end this internal struggle of yours once and for all.”_**

It went on, musing **_“You confuse me, girl. You have never had any malicious intentions with these poor children. In fact, the only person you hate…is yourself, for letting fear rule your heart. You are one of the oddest humans that I’ve ever had to deal with.”_**

Elise had to fight back tears.

_“Seeing her do all of that…so easily…I was so sure that I’d be next!”_

**_“Child, I know. All of Heaven knows that you have been terrified for your own life this whole time. It is so clear that you never wanted Armin Arlert to be hurt, that in your heart, you are truly relieved that he is free. But you MUST change! For if you don’t, then you will suffer the same price…as THEM.”_ **

The tone of the voice suddenly became incredibly sinister, and Elise stole a quick glance at the other two girls, who were oblivious to what was happening to her.

_“What’s going to happen?”_

**_“For so many years, these wretches have snuffed out the lives of the innocents sent to soften their hearts. All this time, they’ve denied the truth that they fully understand, that they are inhuman for treating those poor children as such. For all of that, for willingly targeting this boy and all those in Heaven’s arms, they will suffer the wrath that they’ve stored up for themselves.”_ **

A shudder went up and down Elise’s spine.

_“They won’t…die, will they?”_

The voice laughed harshly and told her **_“Why my dear, can’t you understand? Their hearts have been dead ever since they reveled in the death of their first victim. As for you, there is hope. A choice stands before you: to remain as you are, imprisoned by fear, or to step into the light, so that you may be redeemed. Which will you choose?”_**

Elise gulped, and thought _“I want to make the right choice…but…”_

**_“You MUST toss aside this fear, child. If you don’t, it will be your ultimate ruin.”_ **

Knowing that the voice was right filled Elise with anxiety. Ending her paranoia of her friends’ wrath wouldn’t be easy.

 _“Um…who exactly are you?”_ Elise thought, trying to understand what was happening.

The voice laughed again and told her **_“I am the watcher, a sentinel from above placed here to ensure that nobody harms that boy ever again, and to unleash the wrath of the One who rescued Armin Arlert from this prison.”_**

**_“Child, you MUST confront this head on. Yes, that means that you will need to go head-to-head with that despicable wretch. You must do this, otherwise you will be trapped within yourself for the rest of your life.”_ **

With that, the voice faded away, leaving Elise shaken to the core.

* * *

 “Congrats kid, you’re all set” Levi told Armin. “In case I never see you again, have a great semester, don’t do drugs…you know the rest.”

“Thank you again, Levi” Armin replied, still on edge from Kayla’s last taunt.

“Don’t mention it. Now go get some rest, you look awful.”

He and Annie slowly made their way over to Wickson Hall, with the daylight gradually disappearing around them. The two of them walked in silence, both pondering everything that had happened up to that point. The other campus residents were wandering back to their rooms after another long day, laughing and chatting without a care in the world.

“Thank you for stopping me, Annie” he told her, finally calming down. “If you hadn’t done that, I would’ve taken her bait.”

“Not a problem. Honestly, I’m shocked that I didn’t end up slitting her throat back there. That bitch really pisses me off.”

They returned to room 327 after Armin acquired a new room key from Wickson’s desk. When they returned to the floor, they found Marco and Jean waiting in the room.

Annie turned to Armin and gently told him “Armin, make sure that you rest up, like Levi said. You need good sleep after all of this.”

“I will. Thank you again, Annie.”

“Of course, Armin.”

They shared a warm embrace, and then Annie left him with the other two boys, waving goodbye at him over her shoulder as she walked away with a sad smile on her lips.

In the room, Armin sat down on his bed, exhaustion hitting him hard. It was all he could do to stay awake. Marco and Jean sat down on the opposite bed, watching him.

“Are you still ok telling us what happened, Armin?” Marco asked him.

“Yeah. But I’m so tired, I can only summarize.”

He took a deep breath and began.

“This whole year in Sansburg Hall, this girl started to hate me for what I thought was no real reason. She brought a whole group of girls against me. They glared me down whenever I tried to walk across the floor in their presence, and I’ve found horrible notes aimed at me across the floor, even one pushed under my door.”

The two other guys gritted their teeth in anger as Armin went on.

“My breaking point came when this girl showed me to her boyfriend, who called me a horrible slur that I can’t make myself repeat. Then, a guy I had trusted turned on me, revealing himself as another homophobic scumbag. I’m grateful that I was able to get through all of this without losing the will to continue.”

All three of them sat in silence as Armin’s story sank in. Marco groaned in disgust, and Jean shook his head.

“Dude, I’m really sorry,” Jean muttered. “Nobody, especially you, deserves anything like that.”

“I hope they all get properly disciplined” Marco said, looking incredibly disgusted, a rare sight.

“Me too,” Armin said, still fighting off his weariness.

Jean noticed Armin’s look of exhaustion, and told him “You need to get some sleep, Armin. Me and Marco are gonna hang out for a few hours. Hopefully some alone time will help you relax.”

Armin gave him a small smile and told him “Thank you Jean, I appreciate it.”

He watched them leave, Marco waving goodbye as the door closed behind them.

Armin looked around him, and it sank in where he was. The red sunset was filling up the room with a beautiful light, and Armin felt himself finally relaxing. Nobody could hurt him now that he was finally back in the sanctuary of room 327.

_“I’m…I’m back in the same room as last year, with the same roommate. This isn’t a dream. This is real. I really am free from Sansburg Hall.”_

At that moment, music suddenly started playing on his phone. Armin froze in shock as he instantly recognized the lyrics.

_“The setting sun illuminates everything, the present and the past._

_Is what I imagined within this twilight more than my own hands can accomplish?_

_Please teach me to live more vulnerably than I do now._

_Won’t you taint me just a little?_

_That way, even if I’m alone, hurting, and lose everything around me,_

_this song of truth will flow through my heart.”_

Armin felt his defenses crumble as the song went on.

“God…” he whispered, “thank you for getting me out of that horrible place. Thank you for keeping me safe.”

The song reached its pitch, and Armin trembled as he felt his final tears swelling.

“I…I… **I was so scared!** ” he wailed as the music continued.

_“If eternity knows what manner of darkness, and when pain will vanish,_

_Then that way, you will taint me._

_In the past, I always looked to the castle in the clouds._

_When can I finally follow them?_

_This song of truth will be my guide.”_

Tears of exhaustion slowly fell down his cheeks, as he held himself close, leaning his head back against the wall. As he continued to cry, he felt a massive presence fill the room, and Armin felt safer than he had ever felt since the horrors began.

“What did I do?” he asked, as the last bits of his trauma drained out of him. “I just wanted to live another year in peace! Why…why did they hate me so much?”

Armin thought that the presence was responding to his grief, as a sense of being cherished gently wrapped him up. The feeling of belonging was similar to his mother’s embrace in the dream, only much more intense.

 _“This…this is the love of God”_ Armin realized.

“I was so scared…I was so scared…” he whispered, slowly laying himself down on the bed. _Shinjitsu no Uta_ continued to play in the background as sleep quickly overcame him. Just before he fell unconscious, he heard a soft voice filled with compassion whisper to him.

_“My child…you’re home.”_

* * *

 Jean came back to his room to find Armin passed out on his bed, his belongings still laying around his side of the room.

Without hesitation, Jean grabbed one of his own blankets and gently placed it over Armin’s body.

 _“I’m sorry, buddy”_ he thought as he watched Armin sleep. _“You’ll be safe here with me. I promise.”_

With that, he turned off the light and climbed into bed.


	12. Chapter 12

_Armin looked around, bewildered at the sight of his grandpa’s house. It looked just as he remembered it to be, quiet and peaceful, the soft darkness of early morning still on the horizon. The last thing he recalled was Annie escorting him out of Sansburg Hall for the last time, and collapsing on his bed in Wickson after finally escaping his tormentors._

“W-what?” _he muttered._ “How did I get here?”

 _He heard that familiar, gentle voice say “_ You’re home, sweetheart,” _and Armin felt another pang of emotion rip through him._

_Standing together in the living room of the house were his mother, father and grandmother, all three no longer showing signs of grief and anxiety. Each of them looked at Armin with peaceful smiles of a kind that he hadn’t seen in a long time._

“You’re back where you belong now, son,” _his father told him, pride gleaming in his eyes. “You’re safe now.”_

_“Here, nobody will be able to hurt you” said his grandmother, her creased face no longer taut with despair._

_Armin gazed up at them and said shakily_ “I…was so scared. Knowing what those…those girls were willing to do to me…”

“We know, child,” _Judie Arlert answered._ “But now, their plans to hurt you have been ruined.” _She slowly walked forward until she was standing in front of him, her shawls dancing as she moved._

_His parents did the same, both of them smiling at their child like they had in the beautiful memories of their past._

_“_ You won’t need to cry because of them ever again,” _Will Arlert told him, placing a large hand on Armin’s shoulder._

 _Ellie Arlert wrapped her child up in another loving embrace, and whispered to him_ “And you no longer need to fear any of them. After being freed from their grasp, they can’t hurt you anymore.”

 _As his loved ones watched him, and while he returned his mother’s hug, Armin said to them_ “I was so sure that they were going to do something physical next. But you’re right…all of you, you’re absolutely right. I’m free. I’m safe. I just wish that none of this had ever happened…”

_His grandmother placed her withered hand on his back, and Armin’s father wrapped them all up in his massive arms, so that the four of them were connected in an intimate group hug._

“We won’t let anything else happen to you, my baby. I promise.”

_Out of the window in the corner, golden sunlight began to rapidly pour into the room, the light washing over the Arlerts. Armin looked up at their beaming faces, and knew that he, too, was finally at peace, after having endured his pain for so long._

_The last words he heard were from his mother, who softly said to him_ “And I swear, we **will** see each other again,” _as the sunlight filled his whole vision._

* * *

 When Armin opened his eyes, he found himself staring up at a ceiling, and he momentarily balked, thinking that he was still stuck in room 415 of Sansburg Hall. But he was reassured when he turned to his right to find Jean sitting on the opposite bed, watching him closely.

“I’m glad you’re finally awake, dude,” Jean said as Armin carefully propped himself up. “You’ve been passed out for nearly 12 hours now. How do you feel?”

Armin yawned and said “Much better.”

“Good. Armin, I’m pissed that those twats went after you. You’re way too nice to deserve that bullshit!”

“I know, Jean. I’m still disturbed that this even happened. But…really, I’m ok. I’m back here, in room 327 of Wickson Hall, with you, my roommate from last year…like nothing ever changed…it feels like…”

Jean gawked at him as Armin beamed.

“Jean, my nightmare is finally over!”

At first, Jean didn’t seem to have heard Armin, as he was still looking at him with his mouth wide open. That changed when, to Armin’s shock, tears that he had never seen began to pool at the corner of his roommate’s eyes. Jean placed a quivering hand on Armin’s shoulder and spoke to him in a husky tone.

“I’m happy for you, buddy.”

Jean bolted from the room, seizing his key and fleeing before his tears could fall. Armin watched him go in utter confusion.

_“Wait…did I seriously just make Jean cry?!”_

His phone beeped, and when he glanced at it, Armin yelped in terror as he realized that he had at least 5 missed messages from Mikasa, numerous missed calls from his manager, and that he was already 3 hours late for work.

As he flew about the room, struggling to find a fresh outfit, he managed to read Mikasa’s latest message.

_“Hey!!! I know I shouldn’t be freaking out, you’re probably fine…really need to trust Annie…but when you read this, please meet me at the café on campus later this afternoon, I need to see for myself that you’re ok!! Text me when you read this!!!!!!”_

Armin scrambled to text her back as the thought of his manager scolding him filled him with nervousness. He finally managed to get clean clothes on, leaving a quick bathroom stop to make sure that he didn’t look like a total train wreck. His phone dinged, and Armin knew that Mikasa had gotten his text.

_“Good. I’ll get cleaned up and then…off to work, I guess.”_

* * *

  _The boy was sitting on his bed, looking completely exhausted and crying silent tears. Around him was strewn his luggage, which looked like it had been tossed onto the floor rather carelessly, like he had been in some sort of a hurry. It was clear that whatever had happened to this boy, he had been through something truly traumatizing. The boy was speaking in a hushed voice, hardly a whisper._

_“What…what did I do? I just wanted to live a normal, happy life…why do they all hate me so much?”_

_“…I was so scared…I was so scared!”_

* * *

 Reiner woke up having to fight back the sobs caught in his throat. He lay motionless in bed, gazing up at the ceiling as the aftermath of the dream clung to him. It was one of the most vivid dreams that he had ever had, and that kid’s grief seemed so real. Reiner kept trying to tell himself that it was just a dream, that there wasn’t really a boy out there hurting like the dream had shown him.

 _“Dreams aren’t supposed to make you feel like this, right?”_ Reiner mused. _“I don’t think I’ve ever been this upset over a dream before…”_

Over to his left, Bertholdt was sound asleep in his lofted bed, probably still wiped out from the all-nighter that he had tried to pull over his chemistry paper. Reiner slowly slipped out of his bed and climbed into his slippers, hoping to not wake his roommate up. He grabbed his keys and headed for the restrooms.

On his way there, he was stopped by Connie, his loud and eccentric floor mate.

”Yo, Reiner!” Connie shouted as Reiner walked past his room. “What’s up?”

“Hey, Connie. I had the saddest dream this morning.”

“Huh? What happened?”

“There was this kid sitting in what looked like one of the rooms on this floor…he looked awful, Connie. He seemed so stressed and exhausted. And he couldn’t stop crying.”

Connie’s face went from his usual ecstatic expression to one of pity as Reiner continued.

“When I heard what he was saying, my heart broke. I kept hearing him ask why ‘they’ hated him so much…and the last thing I heard him say was how scared he had been.”

“Geez, dude,” Connie muttered. “Sounds like a rough dream.”

Reiner sighed and said “You’re telling me.”

He thought to himself _“It really looked like a room on this floor. But I know every single person who lives here, and I’ve never seen a small blonde kid walking around here…besides, it’s February. I doubt that anybody would be moving in at this point.”_

Connie looked at his watch and groaned. “Dude I’m sorry but I gotta run, I got class in 10.”

“Alright bro, I’ll see you around.”

“See ya.”

Connie walked back into his room, leaving Reiner standing in the hall by himself, trying to remember what he was there for. Just as he recalled that he was going to the restroom, he heard a door down the hall open.

 _“Is that Jean?”_ he wondered. _“I haven’t seen him in a long time, it’d be good to catch up with him.”_

When he turned about to see who was walking around, his mouth dropped wide open at who he saw.

The boy from the dream was walking out from the farthest door down the hall, where Jean lived. His blonde hair was disheveled, and it looked like he hadn’t slept well. The boy’s eyes were downcast and unfocused, and it looked to Reiner that he was definitely carrying some sort of heavy emotional weight.

_“That’s…that’s not possible! This is the same kid from the dream!”_

_“Why does he look so sad?”_

At that moment, the kid looked up and saw Reiner standing far away. Even from afar, the look on his face stabbed through Reiner’s heart. Most people were shocked to see how much of a giant he was, but Reiner could tell that this boy was completely terrified at the sight of him.

Reiner started walking towards the kid with long, powerful strides, aching to ask him what was wrong, and who he was. But when the boy saw him coming, he ducked his head into the restroom door next to him and disappeared.

Reiner paused with his arm outstretched, torn between wanting to go in there and beg the boy to talk to him, but also knowing that he had probably intimidated him with his stature and bulk.

_“Buddy, what happened to you?”_

* * *

 The instant Armin walked into the bookstore, his manager came running up to him, worry etched all over her face.

”Armin, you had me terrified! I’ve called you at least 3 times now! Are you ok?”

Armin sighed and told her “I’m…getting better. I just changed dorms last night. I collapsed when the change was finished, and I accidentally overslept.”

She breathed a huge sigh of relief. “Thank goodness. Now you won’t have to run into those girls again.”

“Yeah.”

The intensity of her gaze was making Armin very uncomfortable, and all he wanted was to get to work. Before he could, she placed a firm hand on his shoulder and said firmly “Wait, Armin.”

She looked sterner than ever. A sort of cold ice was flaring in her graying eyes. Armin thought that she was angry at him for being late.

“Are you absolutely sure you’re ok?”

The question took him aback, because he hadn’t expected her to not mention his absence. Every time prior, if Armin had been even 5 minutes late, his manager would harp on him about punctuality and how vital it was to running the shop.

He shivered a bit and said “For the most part. It’s just…”

His manager kept her eyes locked on him, patiently waiting for him to finish.

“…I’m so relieved to be out of that hell.”

Before he could say anything else, he was wrapped up in her thin arms, and it took him a moment to recover and hug her back. The embrace was very brief, and left Armin standing in shock.

“Please, sweetie, take it easy today,” she begged him, sounding unnervingly like Grandma Judith. “This has clearly taken a huge toll on you.”

“I will.”

“And if I ever catch those girls in here, if I **ever** see them harassing you in my store, I’m calling campus security.”

With that, she walked away, leaving Armin even more shocked but grateful.

* * *

 Later that day, Armin and Mikasa met up outside the café on campus. The instant he came into her line of sight, Mikasa ran over to him and wrapped him up in a tight embrace, clutching at him as if he was drowning.

“Are you ok, Armin?” she asked him, searching his face for signs of exhaustion.

He smiled up at her and told her “Yeah, Mikasa. I’m doing so much better. It feels so good to finally be out of that hall.”

“Thank God, Armin,” she whispered, already beginning to cry out of relief. “I was so scared that something was going to happen to you after we left the library that night.”

“No need to worry. Annie was with me up until I finally got settled in at Wickson. Two of the girls did try to taunt me when they knew I was leaving, but that’s it.”

“I’ll give them Hell once I get my hands on them!” Mikasa growled, frightening the already confused barista waiting on them.

The two bought two plain cups of coffee, and sat together at one of the polished wooden tables, feeling tranquil after knowing that his ordeal was finished. Mikasa kept shooting glances at him over her cup, watching Armin sip away.

“Hey,” she said to him, patting him on the wrist. “Do you feel up for dinner out? Eren and I want to talk to you about all of this.”

Armin smiled and muttered “Oh, that’d be nice. I could use a night out after everything that’s happened to me.”

“Good. We’ll go wherever you want tonight. And…”

Mikasa sighed, and mumbled “Annie’s welcome to come too, if she wants. It’s time for me to get over my paranoia and be grateful for her help.”

“Awesome! It’s gonna be a blast, Mikasa!”

“Here’s hoping.”

While he thought of which place downtown to go to, his phone vibrated, and Armin saw that his grandpa was checking up on him. Armin quickly sent him a text to telling him that he was finally free, and recovering.

_“Good. Get some rest, Armin, you more than deserve it.”_

_“I will. I’ll talk to you later, grandpa. I’ll be sure to tell you everything when I get the chance.”_

* * *

 On a bench located on the far side of campus, Annie sat on the phone with Helen, who was sobbing in relief after hearing that Armin was finally out of harm’s way. Annie knew that Helen must’ve been worried about him after her call wasn’t received, and had thought it wise to assure her that everything was ok.

“I was terrified that something had happened to him, Annie! On Saturday, I was dozing off, and had this horrible feeling that something had gone wrong in his dorm…I had no idea…that…that **bitch!** ”

“I know, Helen. I’m furious too. The c--- had the nerve to taunt him when we left Sansburg Hall for the last time. But I guarantee you, none of those scumbags would be stupid enough to try to come after him after this. He won’t tolerate it, and neither will I.”

“Is he doing ok? He didn’t seem to be afraid about changing dorms when he texted me yesterday, but is he recovering?”

“I think so. Mikasa told me that we’re taking Armin out to dinner tonight. I’ll be able to check up on him then.”

“Good. Please make sure that he lets me know he’s ok.

“I will. I’ll talk to you later.”

Annie hung up and tucked her phone away, breathing deeply as she went over what had happened the previous night. Bloodlust surged within her as she remembered the spiteful comments that wretch had said as Annie had led Armin out of that prison at last.

_“Fucking coward. You know, I never saw her face…I still can’t help but shake the feeling that she could be one of the trash from high school…but still, that’s just not all that likely.”_

_“Important thing is, Armin’s safe. And if they try anything else on him, I won’t hesitate to leave their bloody carcasses as a warning to all the other homophobes here on campus.”_

“Hey, Annie!”

Annie jumped a bit in the bench as she was jolted from her daydream, and turned around to see Eren bolting towards her, panting heavily.

“I’ve been looking all over for you!” he told her, his intensity incredibly offsetting.

“What’s the big rush for? You can’t possibly have been running around trying to find just me. Right?”

“No, I need to know what happened with Armin!” he snapped.

“Didn’t I tell you two days ago that I wouldn’t let anything happen to him?”

“Yeah, but still! What happened? Is he ok?”

Annie took Eren’s hand, squeezed it, and told him softly “He’s ok, Eren. But he was more tired than I’ve ever seen him when I dropped him off at Wickson Hall last night. It would be good of you to go talk to him.”

Eren let out a huge breath of relief and said “Thank goodness.”

Annie remembered when she had left Armin at his old dorm, and how wiped he had seemed. She was silently hoping that he was recovering swiftly from everything he had suffered.

_“I just hope that he’s told me all the details this time. There better not be any other wretch involved.”_

Eren was shuffling his feet nervously, and Annie asked him “What is it?”

He gulped and mumbled “Can I ask you something…uh, sensitive?”

Annie blinked and told him “I guess. But what the hell do you want to ask me?”

“Why are you so protective of Armin?”

Annie stood still, and then let out a long groan that made Eren even more nervous. She had been hoping that nobody would ask her, because her answer would make her crumble to bits. The face of her best friend, with her beaming smile and flashing brown eyes momentarily entered her mind, and Annie could feel the tears already building.

“Annie?”

Eren looked confused and almost scared to see her upset. She couldn’t blame him, seeing as she rarely opened up like this to even Armin.

“Ugh, Eren. Ok. This is going to be painful telling you. But, well, you asked.”

* * *

  _It’s high time that I finally reveal why I’m so adamant about protecting people like Armin. When Eren asked me that question, I honestly didn’t think that I’d be able to answer him._

_This goes back to three years ago, when I was preparing to graduate from high school. My best friend at the time, and a person who will always be in my heart, was a girl named Mina Carolina._

_She was so much like Armin. Mina was too nice, too gentle. On top of that, she was an open lesbian._

_In our high school, there were plenty of people who weren’t just uncomfortable with the topic of homosexuality; they were downright cruel about it. None of us knew exactly how many homophobes there were in our school, but because of the horror stories we heard, we knew that the group was massive in numbers. Pretty disappointing for a school that claimed to be accepting of all._

_In particular, there were a ton of girls who seemed to be hell-bent on singling out any and all LGBT students that they encountered. The bathrooms for female LGBT individuals were never safe when a swarm of those…those ----s lay waiting there for what they called “fresh meat”._

_While I was with Mina throughout our high school careers, I made it openly clear that if anybody tried to hurt her in any form, I would not hesitate to see for myself what a slit jugular really looks like._

_Mina thought that I was being overly protective._

_“Annie, come on now!” she had once said to me, laughing lightly at my fear of her being hurt._

_“I’m one of the nicest people in this school, why would anybody want to hurt me?”_

_Back then, I had actually believed her. Surely, nobody would want to target somebody like Mina, who simply wanted to love others and be loved herself? A girl who didn’t want to hurt anybody, and who minded her own business?_

_And so, the two of us went through high school, firmly believing that nothing would happen to her. Granted, the glaring from those witches did happen. But they knew that if they tried anything else, I would kill them without pity or remorse. Mina was for the most part left alone because I swore to protect her._

_But then, I finally graduated. Knowing that I wouldn’t be around to keep her safe anymore freaked me out to the highest degree. Mina and her mother Helen had to assure me about 50 times that she was safe before I could let myself calm down._

_“Sweetie, don’t forget what she said to you,” Helen had told me, gently placing her hand on my shoulder. “Only the sickest, most twisted person would ever want to hurt somebody like Mina. You know that.”_

_Yes, I knew that. But even so, I couldn’t shake that anxiety off my soul, the fear that there was somebody out there that would revel at the chance to harm my beloved friend._

_My first year of college, I persistently contacted Mina and her mother, to make sure that everything was ok. It took me a lot of perhaps over-the-top pushing to get Mina to finally admit to me that no, something was wrong._

_“Eh, actually,” that awful text message had read, “there are these girls who…uh, who have been a little bit…’mean-spirited” to me lately.”_

_Despite my obvious freaking out, all Mina told me was that a few girls were spreading horrible lies about her, that she was promiscuous, that she had used her sexuality as a free pass for many things, along with other ridiculous crap. Mina, her mother and I all thought that nobody would buy into those lies; but evidently, all three of us were wrong._

_One by one, more and more people turned on Mina, until a massive group of mostly girls formed to harass her daily throughout every hall of our school building._

_Eventually, she finally admitted to me that she was scared. I couldn’t blame her. I can’t say that the overwhelming hatred from that entire group wouldn’t have affected me._

_Helen and I made Mina contact the principal and other school authorities. To our chagrin, the only response we got was verbal reassurance of the school’s “policy”, and nothing else. No move was made to stop Mina’s harassment from continuing._

_I tried to contact the school myself, but they refused to respond to my inquiries. To all three of us, it was clear that the school couldn’t care less about what Mina was going through._

_When I got back to my hometown that summer, I finally saw Mina after being months apart. She looked…awful. I had never seen such dark circles under her eyes. No high school student is supposed to look like she did._

_“Annie, I’m so tired,” she had whispered, as we had walked together around her neighborhood, catching up and discussing her situation. “I don’t understand why this is happening to me…”_

_“Didn’t it stop?” I had asked her, trying to suppress my anger so that I could focus completely on her._

_“No…I’m getting threats online now…this one girl keeps screaming at me that I’ll burn in Hell for being gay. Why, Annie? What did I do to deserve this?”_

_I could only watch as she collapsed into tears._

_A few weeks later, I walked over to Mina’s house, determined to help her and Helen find a permanent solution. But I was too late. Because when I walked into their front room, the sound of Helen’s screams instantly made me forget my plan._

_Her daughter lay in her arms, barely recognizable from all of the bruises and cuts over her body. Mina’s eyes were glazed over, staring up at the ceiling. In the corner of the room was a female police officer, watching the sight in front of her with a look of sheer horror._

_“M…Mina?”_

_No answer came from my best friend. All I could hear was Helen’s wails of grief as she rocked her daughter back and forth._

_To this day, I haven’t been able to remove that nightmarish scene from my memories._

_The last time I saw her was when she was lying in her casket, as her loved ones came to say their last goodbyes. Me and Helen held each other and wept bitterly as we watched people come and go, as they tried to comfort Helen as much as they could. But what could they do? What amount of comfort can ever console the mother of a murdered child?_

_As for the school, all they did for Mina was create a eulogy of a few sentences, expressing their “sincere regret” at her passing. No mention was made of the obvious fact that she had been murdered._

_Whoever took my best friend from me was allowed to walk away freely, while Helen and I were left to mourn forever._

* * *

 Eren watched in shock as the tears fell down Annie’s face.

“All I could do that night was stand there and watch as her mother cried. I…couldn’t save her!” she whispered.

“I couldn’t save my best friend, even after I swore to not let anybody hurt her!”

“Annie…” Eren muttered, as his own eyes began to fill too.

As she wept for Mina, Annie looked up at Eren and told him “At her funeral, I swore to Mina and myself that I would never let this tragedy happen again. If I had failed to help Armin…I never would have forgiven myself!”

After a moment’s hesitation, Annie gasped when she felt Eren gripping her shoulder. His tears were now fully flowing.

“But Annie, you kept him safe. Thanks to you, he’s out of Sansburg. You kept your promise!” he told her, trying to smile through his sadness.

Annie managed a small smile in return, and thought to herself _“Mina…my friend, after all this time, I still haven’t forgiven myself for letting you die. But I know that you’re free from the pain you suffered. I_ will _see you again, I swear it!”_

* * *

 Reiner sat across from Bertholdt, still pondering what he had seen earlier that day. The new boy from down the hall had been on his mind ever since their unexpected encounter that morning. Knowing that the boy had ran from him despite his good intentions had stung Reiner hard. Bertholdt was baffled by his best friend’s strange sorrow.

“I’ve never seen you this down, dude” Bertholdt was saying, watching Reiner’s heavy cast eyes.

“That kid…Bert, he took one look at me and practically fled. Why? Did he really think that I’d hurt him?”

“Dude, you’re reading into this way too much. You don’t know anything about this guy, keep that in mind. And don’t forget, you’re huge. Who wouldn’t be intimidated by you?”

“I know that. It’s just that I can’t help but feel so **bothered** by that. I don’t even know why…”

Bert yawned and stretched out on his bed.

“What you and I need to do is sleep, man. We shouldn’t be counting on a snow day tomorrow.”

“Alright, dude. Good night then.”

“Night.”

The two of them slowly undressed, flipped off the lights and climbed into bed, not talking as they tried to drift off to sleep. Bert looked at Reiner as his roommate’s eyes slowly fell.

 _“I’m not mad at that kid, but geez, that hurt”_ Reiner thought. _“I would never harm anybody unless they tried to hurt me or somebody that I love. And I typically don’t go around trying to intimidate people.”_

_“Guess I can’t help being a giant.”_

After a few more minutes of pondering in the dark, Reiner finally fell asleep.

* * *

  _The room from the previous night had returned, but this time, the boy was sound asleep on the bed. Sitting on the edge of the bed was a woman who looked too much like him. Her facial structure was far too similar to be a coincidence._

_She was looking fondly down at the kid, gently caressing his hair, oblivious to the fact that Reiner was standing in the corner of the room watching her. Jean was nowhere to be found, adding to Reiner’s confusion. He was certain that he was dreaming, but even then, the dream felt too real._

“My baby,” _she whispered,_ “you’re home.”

 _Reiner nervously asked her_ “You’re his mom, aren’t you?”

_Immediately, she looked around, startled at the sudden noise. Her eyes fell on him, and widened._

“You…who are you?” _she asked him. And then, she uttered a strange gasp. Reiner blinked, confused as he watched the woman look at him intensely._

“Now I see. You, you’re **him** ”.

“What do you mean?” _he asked._

“You’re the ‘protector’ that I was told about.”

“Protector?”

 _She looked back at the boy, and said softly “_ The guy who's going to end up taking care of my son.”

_In spite of the situation’s seriousness, Reiner blushed crimson._

_“_ Yes, I’m his mother,” _she told him, a far-away look in her eyes. “_ But sadly, this is all I can do for my child.”

“Then you’re…?”

“Yes, dear. I’ve already passed, a long time ago.”

_Reiner felt a pang rip through his heart._

“What about-“

“His father and grandmother too, dear. All he has left is his grandfather.”

_Reiner felt tears pooling again, and he whispered “I’m so sorry.”_

_The woman gently laughed and sighed. “Nothing to be sorry about. If anybody’s supposed to be sorry, it’s me. I had to watch Armin get hurt…and this, this is all I can do for him.”_

_There was silence in the room as Reiner registered what she had said. His fears about the kid had finally been confirmed, by his mother of all people. It took him a moment to get the courage to press the matter._

“What happened to your son?”

 _She grimaced and said_ “Armin unwittingly found himself in the midst of a group of…horrible girls. Girls who revel in hurting people they see as easy targets, as worthless and inhuman.”

“I couldn’t believe my eyes, and neither could his other loved ones up above. We watched him merely walking around his hall, earning so much hatred wherever he went. And simply because he walked into their lives, for just a brief moment.”

_She shuddered, and her hand quickly went up to her face to wipe away at her eyes._

“When we heard him snap…when we watched him cry…I never want to see that hurt ever again.”

 _A flash of steel entered her eyes as she hissed “_ And I want those wretches punished!”

_Her malice was choking. Reiner felt himself sweating at the sheer palpability of her anger. Whatever had happened to the kid, who the woman called Armin, must’ve been really bad if his mother was this livid._

_And then he remembered the look of fright in Armin’s eyes when he had seen Reiner walking towards him._

“But if it was just girls who hurt him, why did he run away from me?” _he asked, feeling his gloom returning._

_She looked up at him with pity and sighed. Her fists clenched, and it was clear to Reiner that she was about to say something troubling._

“There was somebody else who hurt my child,” _she told him. “_ A guy who happens to look just like you. If I wasn’t sure, I would say that the two of you could be twins.”

“I’d never want to be related to anybody who hurt your son!”

“And I appreciate that, dear.”

“But what did this guy do?”

_They watched Armin toss suddenly, and the two of them waited to see if he would wake up. After a few seconds, he went still again._

“My child’s heart is big, and he tries so hard to see the good in all. Though I hate to say it, that was what blinded him. You see, he put his faith in the wrong person when all of this cruelty peaked. He truly thought that this man would come to his aid.”

“But right when he needed comfort the most, that man turned on him, willingly and gleefully.”

 _Reiner muttered_ “What a prick.”

 _She scoffed and told him “_ Oh, trust me dear, I have far worse words for that pig.”

_Reiner then realized that this was an incredibly odd scene he was in, conversing with the spirt of Armin’s mother in his bedroom. For a moment, he considered asking if it was really a dream he was seeing, but he decided against it._

“What should I do for him?” _he finally asked her._

 _She smiled at him and simply told him “_ Love him. Love him, and remind him that there are still kind strangers out there who care about him.”

“Wait, love him how?...Oh.” _Reiner realized what kind of “love” Armin’s mother was referring to._

 _“This is happening so fast,”_  he thought. _“Is she saying that Armin and I are supposed to…date?”_

 _“_ If, I uh…” _Reiner began to say, feeling the color rise in his cheeks. “_ If your son and I fall in love…are you…down with that?”

 _She laughed and said_ “Did you not understand what I told you? You’re him. My child’s protector. The man who will be there for him the most, who will show him the most intimate love ever. Yes, dear. That’s what’s meant to happen.”

_He gulped nervously. It sounded like he and Armin had just been betrothed. It felt like a scene out of “Sleeping Beauty”._

_Then Armin’s mother got up from the bed, and walked up to Reiner, looking at him with a firm expression on her face. She took his hands in hers, and said one last thing to him as everything around them began to fade away._

**“Please…protect my baby.”**

* * *

 When Reiner got up the next morning, he could see out the window that the streets had been blanketed with snow overnight. He checked his phone, and sure enough, he had received an email about classes being canceled due to the weather.

_“It’s about damned time.”_

Once again, Bertholdt was knocked out, oblivious to the world around him. Reiner tiptoed around him to the door, wanting to take care of his business quickly so that he could go back to sleep.

On his way to the bathroom, Reiner recalled the dreams he had seen the last few days, and paused to consider what might happen next.

_“What should I say to that kid when I see him next? …Or do I say nothing at all?”_

When he got to the bathroom door, Reiner went to grab the handle when a woman’s voice suddenly whispered in his mind.

_“Please…protect my baby.”_

He stiffened, and then remembered the last words that Armin’s mother had spoken to him in last night’s dream. He looked at the door and knew that it was easily possible that Armin was on the other side.

_“Crap, what do I do if he sees me? I don’t want him to freak out!”_

The door handle turned, and Reiner watched the door swing open with a nervous sensation running through him.

Sure enough, Armin was holding the door open, not noticing Reiner until he looked up. The fear instantly returned to his eyes, and Reiner knew he had to do something fast before the boy freaked out.

Reiner looked into Armin’s eyes and gave him the gentlest smile he had ever mustered, the lines around his amber eyes creasing softly.

Armin blinked in confusion, and then registered what was going on. He returned Reiner’s smile somewhat awkwardly, and Reiner felt his own smile turn into a grin as he watched the kid’s cheeks flush.

He stepped aside to let Armin through, and watched him titter over to his room. While he walked into the row of stalls, Reiner could feel a surge of confidence soaring through him, knowing that he had succeeded in making Armin ease up to him.

 _“Buddy…”_ he thought, remembering the sadness he had seen in those blue eyes and his mother’s plea, _“I’m gonna protect you no matter what.”_

* * *

 Armin let the door close behind him, and instantly, he started to giggle profusely. He felt his cheeks turning a ridiculous beet-red as the butterflies in his stomach whirled about.

 _“He’s so not that awful guy from before!”_ he thought, feeling victorious. _“That smile…crap!”_

Thankfully, Jean wasn’t in the room. Armin knew that if his roommate was with him while he was getting flustered, Jean would’ve freaked out.

The smile that guy had given him was still stuck in Armin’s mind, and he had no intention of thinking about anything else. Armin looked out the window, at the sunlight that was filling his room to the brim, and felt a powerful giddiness fill him from head to toe.

“Thank you God,” he muttered, hoping to see that man again soon, knowing without a doubt that this time, he had finally found a guy who truly cared.


End file.
